this post was submitted on 06 May 2026
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Chapotraphouse

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It's a badly written article. Copy and pasting the whole thing in here seemed silly. Here are the money quotes.

I heard from people in Patel’s orbit and people he has met at public functions, who told me that it is not unusual for him to travel with a supply of personalized branded bourbon. The bottles bear the imprint of the Kentucky distillery Woodford Reserve, and are engraved with the words “kash patel fbi director,” as well as a rendering of an FBI shield. Surrounding the shield is a band of text featuring Patel’s director title and his favored spelling of his first name: ka$h.

An eagle holds the shield in its talons, along with the number 9, presumably a reference to Patel’s place in the history of FBI directors. In some cases, the 750-milliliter bottles bear Patel’s signature, with “#9” there as well. One such bottle popped up on an online auction site shortly after my story appeared, and The Atlantic later purchased it. (The person who sold it to us did not want to be named, but said that the bottle was a gift from Patel at an event in Las Vegas.)

Patel has given out bottles of his personalized whiskey to FBI staff as well as civilians he encounters in his duties, according to eight people, including current and former FBI and Department of Justice employees and others who are familiar with Patel’s distribution of the bottles. Most of them spoke on the condition of anonymity out of fear of reprisal.

https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/2026/05/kash-patel-fbi-bourbon/687066/

Archive sites aren't working for me.

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[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 35 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

lol what a fucking loser.

in a normal society, this guy would be the third runner up salesman of the month at a certified pre-owned Acura near Atlantic City and only reach national profile due to body cam footage when arrested for public masturbation during a DUI stop at 10am on a Wednesday.

[–] nothx@hexbear.net 13 points 2 weeks ago

I feel a certain way about how spot on this is...

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 5 points 2 weeks ago

in a normal society...

I want to like that alternate universe where the general public doesn't even know who Trump is to his chagrin*. He's super-egotistic but he's only a fairly successful Broadway producer who never has been able to produce or star on tv.

---

* I like etymology but I'm dyslexic. With google's help I got to "shagreen" which is a related word to chagrin. Chagrin's etymology is: "melancholy" from French chagrin (noun), literally "rough skin, shagreen".

[photo caption] An antique round box covered with pearl ray shagreen, ground down to produce a smooth, puzzle-like surface

Shagreen is a type of rawhide consisting of rough untanned skin, historically from a horse's or onager's back, or from shark or ray.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shagreen

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 25 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"Questions about my alcoholism have already been answered by my custom bottle of whiskey."

[–] context@hexbear.net 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

why do i have 7 bottles of bourbon with me? hahaha! well, you see, it's because i like to give them away, as gifts, you see. token souvenirs to friends while i'm traveling. i had them personalized to make it more believable. i mean, more personal. i mean, i'm definitely not planning to drink them all myself this week! shit! why did i say "this week" that was a totally unnecessary detail. anyway, here, have one. as a gift. but please don't tell anyone i'm planning to give the rest of these away. i haven't decided who to give them to, yet. but i will. very soon. anyway, good night!

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago

I was a “haha my friends drank my liquor cabinet over the weekend what a party it was” guy

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 25 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Surrounding the shield is a band of text featuring Patel’s director title and his favored spelling of his first name: ka$h.

"Of course it is buddy, you're 12"

[–] Yllych@hexbear.net 20 points 2 weeks ago

Why have your name twice. Just have it on the logo. Dip shit

[–] Sinonatrix@hexbear.net 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

New conspiracy theory: Fascism was created by pawn brokers so they'd have more memorabilia to sell

[–] supafuzz@hexbear.net 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

"Nothing ever happens" gang in constant, behind-the-scenes struggle with "things must happen so we can sell trinkets about them" gang

[–] Dort_Owl@hexbear.net 18 points 2 weeks ago

geordi-no Tax money funding healthcare

geordi-yes Tax money funding this shit

[–] hellinkilla@hexbear.net 16 points 2 weeks ago

Very dissapointed in Earth First and other militants not having their shit together to do some cool stuff while the FBI is being run by such a clown.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 12 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Leon_Grotsky@hexbear.net 12 points 2 weeks ago

Lol my man is getting personalized $35 bottles of whiskey

[–] Euergetes@hexbear.net 10 points 2 weeks ago

pepe-silvia he's sending these to FBI terror watchlist guys. why do you think he wasn't on the press gala assassin's list??? pepe-silvia

low rent version of senators heaping gold on the army in Rome whenever a coup was going on lol

[–] UmbraVivi@hexbear.net 9 points 2 weeks ago

Wish the Trump admin had more people like Kash Patel who are clearly just grifters abusing their powers to tick things off their bucket list and fewer people like Hegseth or Stephen Miller, actual Hitlerites with a Nazi agenda.

[–] chgxvjh@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago

Love this guy. He is like some stoner movie fuckup.

[–] anotherspinelessdem@lemmy.ml 8 points 2 weeks ago

New game: Drink it before Kash does

[–] btbt@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Whenever I see a photo of FBI director Kash Patel my first thought is “I want to drink him”

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

The thing on the right is clearly handcuffs, but what is on the left? A pile of poop? Dumb libertarian snake flag?

[–] Leon_Grotsky@hexbear.net 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

It looked to me like a burning or tattered gadsden flag? Silly either way.

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Especially when it's like "you're the FBI director, one of the head guys for doing the 'stepping on' people"

[–] Kefla@hexbear.net 4 points 2 weeks ago

Mfer you've got fucking handcuffs on your logo you are the boot doing the treading lmao

[–] Moidialectica@hexbear.net 3 points 2 weeks ago

it looks like don't tread on me, yea

[–] hotcouchguy@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago

I am the liquor

[–] miz@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago

he used generative AI to come up with this garbage

[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

he was excluded by the guy who brought a gun to the WHCD because he's the most dudes rock guy in the administration

[–] john_brown@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago

Hegseth makes alcoholism look bad, Patel makes it look fun

[–] Big@hexbear.net 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I bet it tastes like those novelty golf ball shaped whiskey bottles you find in tourist shops.

[–] piranhaconda@mander.xyz 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Looks like it's Woodford Reserve. Likely a hand picked single barrel bottling. Probably decent. Source, used to live in Kentucky

Edit: I could've just read the article snippet that says it's Woodford, silly me