I 100 per cent expected the Naruto run
this post was submitted on 01 May 2026
93 points (100.0% liked)
Chapotraphouse
14347 readers
511 users here now
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Slop posts go in c/slop. Don't post low-hanging fruit here.
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
-Has a shotgun -Runs really fast -Gets arrested Welcome to real life, Scout TF2
I count 1 shot from the runner and 4 shots from that secret service agent who saw him coming. All miss their targets, one friendly fire hit. Absolutely everyone here failed miserably.
Incidentally he only gets 4 running steps between being seen and being fired on and just 6 running steps between that doorway and the checkpoint.
I don't know the layout of down the hall but given how sloppy the checkpoint is I assume it's just 10m to a room full of people that absolutely deserve to be shot.
If this guy committed harder with a bomb vest he could've taken the entire dinner hall out.
If this guy committed harder with a bomb vest he could've taken the entire dinner hall out.
Or a couple of grenades, just tossing one ahead of him could've done a lot of damage if he couldn't get into the hall himself. The half-assessedness of this assassination attempt really bothers me. I don't want to be an armchair assassin here, but this isn't a "do or die" thing, it is a "do and die" thing, you have to be willing to go in to deal as much damage as possible as quickly as possible.
SMH, damn adventurists can't even do their stupid ineffectual nonsense properly.
Yeah the fact he survived is honestly the craziest part of it all. Nobody going in to do this should be going in with the expectation of survival so they really ought to be going with a full scale nuclear approach.
I get it with the long range shooters. They're trying to do it and survive. But this kind of attack is a kamikaze and should be planned with that in mind.
From everything I've seen with this guy talking about it, he honestly seemed to think like it would be a movie scene where he walks in all cool and pulls out his gun in slow motion and no one stops him in time because movie, and also because movie he gets away with it because everyone would see him as a "hero"
when has a liberal ever not thought life is like a movie? both left-liberals and right-liberals
The guy was really fast but I yeah I'm not sure that the entire plan being "Run in fast and shoot them before anyone has time to react" is particularly sound
it works in a door knock situation if they're not particularly ready for you and five other people. so like, how the US military operates.
if they're posted up then it definitely doesn't and there's some pithy euphemistic name among pigs for doorways being very dangerous for them to go through.
I thought it was reported that the wasn't even on the same floor.
Everyone's wondering why they didn't all start popping off, but honestly not immediately popping off is actually good. There was a crowded room of people right down the hall.
Kinda interesting how they show trigger discipline when the collateral down range is a bunch of rich Republicans and media personalities, but not when it's kids and workers.
This wasn't an example of trigger discipline. All but one of them didn't even see the guy coming, and the only one that did gave off 3-4 shots, all of them close to the other guards, hitting at least one of them I believe (middle guy in the group to the back goes down and has to be helped up). This was an excellent example of poor trigger discipline, kind of lucky nobody died actually.
Edit: Like these are the rough angles of the shots, all of those were dangerous shots. 2 seems to have hit, 3 might also well have the guy in the suit seems to be in pain and delays drawing his gun.
The guy second from the bottom left did start popping off, and is probably the cause of the reported injury (the guy in the center of the trio near the top left going down lol)
No tasers?
This footage is from today he keeps respawning at the closest bonfire in hollow form
He's iframing and running past the secret service guys no problem now, it's actually the OSHA noncompliant bottomless pits throughout the hotel that keep 
ing him
Don't siege the hotel, just take it
Area 51 and the scientology rushes were just the training
With that amount of motion blur on that pose I can choose to believe he was Naruto running 
I. Can. Choose. To. Believe.
more like 
The move is that you get the suspicious decoy to charge through the checkpoint, and then you're the one dressed vaguely like a security guard, giving chase and shouting at them to stop. Then you conveniently lose track of them and proceed as planned.
Use an accomplice whenever you stand to benefit from it.
If this dude just took a bomb vest instead of a gun he could've taken out the entire dinner hall.
He was specifically not trying to cause collateral damage though, he just wanted to get select individuals.
he was in the hotel before the security he probably could've put a bomb somewhere they wouldn't find it or spent the night hiding somewhere inside the cordon.
What we're learning from this scenario is that PE is important and one should maintain one's self.
Sonic, no! 
[green hill zone theme chopped and screwed]
Dang, look at the size of that hallway. That hotel should try holding some drone races.