American Christianity is basically a pop cultural movement at this point so I doubt anyone gives a shit.
this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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What a surprise, the most terminally online regime runs on bullshit/memes/vibes/etc and also
They really are just out here doing blasphemy after blasphemy. After supply chain shocks in urea and petrochemical precursors for medicine from the war they started could actually bring about famine and pestilence. They really are just trying to work out the end times in Revelations. The only way they could get more hamfisted about it is if Peter Thiel formally crowns Trump as the Antichrist on live TV with one of Musk's Tesla robots that was made to breath.
I never remember the actual quotes from the bible, but I know the preacher cadence and the biblical language well enough that when I make shit up, people usually believe it's from the bible
Now that I think about this, I'm pretty much just a regular preacher
I know guys that had this memorized and thought it was really awesome to recite it at parties. They stopped doing it by around 2003, because they grew up.
And now none of those guys are in charge of the Department of War. 
The entire movie Boondock Saints was based around this quote, and it was ASS
"mistakenly"
hot couch military
Calling it: After Trump dies theyre going to found a new Christian sect utilizing mega church infrastructure and philosophically based on Prosperity Doctrine, but appropriating many Catholic aesthetics for the morons who got into religion through 40k. Trump will not be an explicitly spiritual figure, but pictures of him with Jesus will be everywhere.
They already know that no one has the sauce like Trump, so this is the only way to keep the party going. Charlie Kirk was a practice run, and the tweet of Trump as Jesus was his cottage cheese brain jumping the gun because he forgot what year it was.
It is 2026 and the protestants are fomenting to start another religious war with the catholic church
Time for Hegseth to double down and canonize Tarantino as an apostle
I knew a guy in high school who got that verse from Pulp Fiction tattooed on his ribs. Even back then (early 00s) everyone considered it corny. Nobody ever believed those types of guys would ever be in charge of anything more than a landscaping company or a high school gym class. But it turns out some of those guys went to Ivy League and knew the right people and are now running the country. Though if you think about it, Bush Jr was that type of guy too, he was just from a different generation that didn't have corny Tarantino shit to idolize.
GWB was the last from that generation of elites that could engage in occult sex rituals with the actual 
bones of George Washington and film the whole thing to hold as blackmail against each other when the other Yale Skull and Bones legacy members inevitably ascended to the heights of social and political power. We really are losing recipes, and Hegseth is the manifestation of that institutional decline.
When my father's father's father had a difficult task to accomplish, he went to a certain place in the forest, lit a fire, and engaged in occult sex rituals with the actual bones of George Washington and filmed it. And what had to be done was done. When my father's father was confronted with the same task, he went to the same place in the forest and said; '"We no longer know how to engage in occult sex rituals with the actual bones of George Washington, but we still have the film." And what had to be done was done. Later, he too went into the forest and said: "We no longer know how to fuck the , we no longer know the mysteries of film, but we still know the exact place in the forest where it occurred. And that should do." And that did do. But when I was faced with the same task, I stayed home and I said; "We no longer know how to fuck the , we no longer know the films. We don't even know the place in the forest. But we do know how to tell the story."
thats the real problem with epstein. the united states deindustrialized so hard they started importing their kompromat
nice
I have to say that quoting Quentin Tarantino as if it was the word of God during a church service is the most spiritually Israeli thing that Pete could have done.
Here's the full sermon. The Tarantino shit starts at around 6 minutes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rijDjmdCXQ
Which leads me finally to a prayer that I'll read, which was also handed to me a couple of days ago, delivered from the the the lead mission planner of Sandy 1.
Sandy 1 were the A10s that were a part of the daylight rescue mission of 44 alpha dude 44 alpha out of Iran.
And if you know anything about Sandies, their job is to bring those A-10s and put them in between the enemy and that downed pilot.
And so their job is to literally sacrifice themselves for someone else. And in Iran and contested territory, that's exactly what they did.
Uh so it's this prayer was recited by Sandy 1, which is one of the Sandies, to all Sandies all those A-10 crews prior to all CSAR missions but especially this CSAR mission that happened in real time
They- they call it CSAR 25:17, which I think is meant to reflect Ezekiel 25:17. So the prayer is CSAR 25:17 and it reads and pray with me please.
The path of the downed aviator is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.
Blessed is he who in the name of camaraderie and duty shepherd the lost through the valley of darkness.
For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children.
And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to capture and destroy my brother.
And you will know my call sign is Sandy 1 when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
And amen. So thank you for joining us this month every month. Thank you for for for worshiping with us and taking just that moment which as I say every time is fitting and proper to do in this building at this time in this place with Americans in harm's way on our behalf halfway across the world.
May we always pray for them, think about them, put them first in our actions and the decisions that we make. That is who we serve and they put themselves out there to serve us.
Uh, and I know this audience appreciates that more than most almost any Americans in the entire world.
So, it's now my pleasure since I'm not supposed to give a sermon to introduce our actual speaker today. His name is Zach Randles and he serves as the pastor of Waterfront Church DC here in Washington.
So, it's now my pleasure since I'm not supposed to give a sermon to introduce our actual speaker today. His name is Zach Randles and he serves as the pastor of Waterfront Church DC here in Washington.
Absolute :chefs-kiss:
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
wow its almost as if church services should be led by people who can fucking read and tell a heap from a grain, not any jackoff with 'a personal relationship with god' a thousand hellfires upon jean calvin 
what a fucking loser.
also
violence of action
i absolutely loathe this milspeak word salad jibberish phrase. i first noticed it in the '03 iraq invasion, and it seems to be trotted out by the biggest losers to try and make themselves seem profound or philosophical.
WARFIGHTERS
Trump starts ordering royale with cheese
Vance is having the Partially Gelatinated, Non-Dairy, Gum-Based Beverage
Eddie not knowing about frosty chocolate milkshakes smh
I thought he was a McDonalds guy?
McDonald's sells quarter pounders, what do they call a quarter pounder in France
~113 grams
Huuuuur
Le Big Mac
why does everything have to be so stupid
CHATGPT, GENERATE ME A PRAYER SERMON FOR TODAY. I AM PETE HEGSETH, SERMON AT PENTAGON!!!! MAKE IT AWESOME!!! NO MISTAKES
