It appears to be the majority of Doctors most Americans can afford...
this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2023
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This is not what I thought they meant when they said universal healthcare.
Child: Mom can we have universal healthcare? Mom: We have universal healthcare at home. The healthcare we have at home:
It’s easy, pick any doctor in your network.
Excuse me, my esteemed aerial cephalopod, but I don't see a doctor in front of your name. Those sodas didn't end up hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt getting their doctorates to be dissed by you.
I'm far too modest to mention my 6 years at Harvard Medical School followed by a 4 year residency at Johns Hopkins and, of course, my 134 published papers in medical journals.
a 4 year residency at Johns Hopkins
I smoked pot with Johnny Hopkins... It was me, Johnny Hopkins, and Sloan Kettering... And they were blazin' that shit up everyday!
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It's really too bad Kroger discontinued "The Fizzicist".
That's a frustratingly good name too.
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The bar for soda medical school is just so damn low.
Mr. PiBB dropped out of college
Me trying to explain the backstory of Britain's longest-running sci-fi series
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You missed Professor Peppy.
I know there's probably more, but i feel like this one is important.
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Moist Jesus
I didn’t go to college for eight years just to be called Mister Pepper
No thanks. I'll stick with my Bepis.
I respect any soda that puts in the time and effort to earn a doctorate degree. You know who I don't respect? Mr. Pibb, who can can take his undergrad ass and fuck right off.
Excuse me, but Pibb now identifies as Xtra, not Mr. I think we should respect their gender identity.
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All this and yet Mr. Pibb is a step too far.
Dr Perfect
Ok buddy, chill out.
I'm not looking for Dr. Perfect, just Dr. Right.
Best I can do is Dr Fine.
Mom: Have you seen a Real Doctor yet?
Me: ......yes......
In the name of the Coke, the Pepper, and the Holy Sprite.
Leave Dr Shasta alone. That shit (and its variants) slaps.
Cream Soda Shasta in a half-can is a time machine that sends me to my grandparents house when I was 7.
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Not pictured: Dr. Smooth
(although it's been a long time - maybe they don't make this anymore?)
Is Dr. Perky a plastic surgeon?
Ha, Dr perky. Nice.
Meanwhile in the Netherlands: 
I like Dr. Spice, no fucking around with them.
"Dr. Fine Soda"
He's not Dr. Perfect and he's not Dr. Right, but he sure is Dr. Fine.
My favorite knockoff was one called "Spritz Up"
My favorite dumb Dr. name was "Dr. Furr's" from Furr's supermarkets in the 80s
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Cool, now I'm on a quest to sample them all
As a former soda enthusiast I will always die on this hill. Dr. Pepper is Dr. Pepper. No, your Mr. Pibs and Dr. Thunders are not "basically the same thing," just give me a damn root beer instead!
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Dr PeePee when
Doctor Snag down there trying to hide from the police after the college students made a game out of mixing him 1:1 with whiskey and making pledges drink until they fall over.
If that's real, and not AI, that wins. Store brand of the year.
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