dingus

joined 3 years ago
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[–] dingus@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago

I absolutely understand what you mean. Saying positive stuff to yourself doesn't work when you hate yourself. It feels gross.

The affirmation that finally clicked with me was "you are a human being".

It doesn't imply anything fake positive about yourself. And it's a factual statement that cannot be argued, not an opinion.

But think about what it implies. A human being literally cannot be perfect. You are not a robot. That is the very nature of being human. I used to tell myself "you should know better" or "you should do better" frequently. Because I'm me and I know right from wrong and so I hated myself for not meeting said expectations.

But those expectations were not realistic. Because I'm not a robot. You're not a robot. We are human beings. Human beings by definition cannot be perfect, even tho some appear like they may be. And that is ok. You still deserve love and compassion. You deserve it because you are a flawed human being.

I find that I don't need to say it to myself much anymore nowadays, but I truly think it did help me to heal.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 1 points 17 hours ago

I have tried like 1.5 I guess lol. The one I was on for several months at a regular dose. The other one I was on for about a month at what the internet told me was a sub therapeutic dose. I thought my provider was going to titrate me up on that second one but was a bit disappointed when she immediately bailed on it for a different medication tho lol.

Granted I was having a hard time so I think she just wanted something to chill me the fuck the fuck out hahaha. I've been on a low dose of Seroquel ever since. Technically I'm a lot more stable than before which may or may not have to do with the drug. So I'm keen on keeping it for now. Still have issues now and then but meh.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Man people always make antidepressants sound like magic to me when I hear about stuff like this. When I took an antidepressant, I don't think changed much about any of the way I thought or felt. Hell I was really wishing for the "emotional blunting" that I hear about to happen to me. It didn't. My emotions were as extreme as ever and I would have loved for something to "blunt" them even a little lmaoo.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

I mean like for example I've known I would die since I was young but I didn't have such a fear an "awareness" of what that meant until much more recently if that makes sense.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

It's weird but I started fearing death this year. I had some sort of significant mental health issues and at some point I was making quite a few suicidal gestures, but I didn't feel like I was close to any attempts.

In my many attempts to treat my mental health, I had a therapist encourage me to try listening to podcasts to cope with something in particular.

So I found one and actually enjoyed it. It was on Taoism. Well...a lot of Taoism deals with death in a way...like understanding that we are born from the earth and that we will return to it. I found out some time into listening that wise and thoughtful host of the podcast had died maybe 5-10 year ago.

Something snapped in me and I started in an outright panic from that point on, fearing death. I couldn't listen to the podcast anymore. I was going to die. I don't want to die. I would walk around public places wondering how everyone was just walking around knowing they were going to die. Why aren't we all trying to solve this as a collective?? Why don't people care that they are going to die????

And that fear and panic seems to have stayed with me. Thankfully it's not as all pervasive, but it's still there.

For some unknown reason, even with that fear, I have since learned to ride a motorcycle. I think about the chance of death sometimes when I ride it. It's higher now.

And at this time, I don't feel like I've "wasted" my life per se. But I'm finding that I want to do something else with it. But I just don't know what.

So that's where I'm at now. I'm trying to figure out what I want to do in life considering the fact that I will die.

I don't know what to do, quite frankly.

So realizing that I will die absolutely did change my perspective on life. I'm just not sure where to take it.

I don't think what you talk about is depression per se. It sucks that we are gonna die. And I'm not interested in making a legacy either. I won't be here to enjoy it.

But I wouldn't call your life lazy necessarily either. The true Taoist enjoys life for what it is. You don't need to be the best or the hardest worker to enjoy the world, nor should you necessarily be.

Idk I'm sorry that this is so long and rambling. I guess what I'm trying to say is I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. Taoism is an interesting philosophy (iirc it's also a religion, but I'm more interested in the philosophy) that may help you or it may do nothing. But idk it talks about stuff like that I guess.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

I mean...think about that for a minute. If you're being paid less than minimum wage then how are you supposed to afford to live? Some people live paycheck to paycheck.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Why peanut butter cookies????

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

My guess is that this is an at least two person household. One drinks Coke Zero and one drinks regular. I don't think I've ever seen someone do both. Could also be why there are two toys instead of one.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

I'm sorry that this doesn't at all answer the question...But I just had to link this incredibly iconic moment from King of the Hill.

https://youtu.be/huVt8HthWcI

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Ok but did you all name her???

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Everything just feels so bizarre to me. Internet communities and politics devolve into weird rabbit holes of strangeness and extremism which is totally foreign to me. I feel like some people just sit in their rooms posting pictures on their walls connecting it with red strings.

And here I am just to look at memes. Does that mean I'm too much of a "normie" or "boomer" for internet communities nowadays? I don't even know.

Thanks for the info tho. Sorry about my little rant lol!

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Looks like I'm not on the list. Tbh I don't really understand what is going on here. I'm very out of the loop.

 

Hopefully this isn't breaking rules. Yes it is a veiled attempt at advice because I've been hemming and hawing. But the question can be answered purely as is. There are obviously pros and cons so I'd like to know how you all feel.

Thank you.

 

Hi all. Noob here back again. I got the screws out of the front master cylinder, but I have been having a different problem.

When under higher RPMs, the bike gives off a VERY strong fuel smell. It's still noticeable at lower RPMs, but not as bad. It didn't do this initially when I got it a few months ago, but I didn't ride it much initially.

Bike is a 2017 Honda Rebel 300. Fuel injected. No carb.

I noticed that the gasket to the gas cap was a bit cracked and distorted so I got a new gas cap. Didn't resolve the issue.

There are no visible leaks anywhere that I can tell.

The smell is very strong around the gas cap and engine, not so much the tailpipe. The bike seems to run great otherwise.

Unfortunately, googling seems to show this as a very nonspecific issue, so I'm a bit lost as to where to begin. I'm a huge noob when it comes to mechanical things.

Thanks!

 

Hello. I'm a new rider who recently purchased a ten year old bike. I have ZERO mechanical know how, but decided that I wanted to learn.

So far I managed to take both the front and rear wheels off to get the tires changed and I managed to change the oil. Since I am unskilled, it took a LOT of fumbling through these to get things going...including breaking some nuts (rear axle nut was stuck and I originally only had a 12 point socket) and bolts (overtorqued an oil filter cover bolt despite using a torque wrench) and buying replacement ones.

Since the bike is 10 years old, I know that all of the fluids need to be changed. I feel comfortable attempting the actual change for the brake fluid from my research EXCEPT I don't want to irreparably damage this area. The front brake works fine, but the sight glass is totally clouded and opaque, so I cannot visually check the condition or level of the fluid.

These are JIS screws and I have purchased replacement screws. Any advice here? Please consider my novice skill level lol.

I bought some screw extractor bits but do not have an impact driver. I have some JIS screwdrivers, a hammer, a regular drill, penetrating oil, and replacement JIS screws.

Thanks!

29
Birb (lemmy.ml)
 

It's now my one year "anniversary" of my psych med "journey". I just feel so frustrated.

The providers always ask me how I'm doing and if I think X drug we are trying right now helps. I always have no fucking clue.

I keep a mood log and everything, but I cannot for the life of me discern any sort of pattern for any of these. One month will be fantastic and the next month will be so horrible and painful it's like someone is boring a hole through my body with a branding iron.

My provider is having me take the GeneSight test to figure out if there is a particular option I should be trying. But I am just so exhausted with this that I'm considering the next med to be my final straw.

I do NOT have bipolar disorder. I do NOT have chronic low mood. I do NOT have lack of emotions. I do NOT have PTSD. I have periods of extreme, unbearable intensity with periods of normal in between. I have relational trauma. Since my issues are intermittent, I cannot for the life of me tell if I am ever helped by anything.

I am currently in an intensive DBT program. While it has been a lifesaver when I have "simple" problems, it does not touch the intense pain of others.

Some research I do seems to indicate my problem cannot be even minimally helped by meds, which is incredibly frustrating. I want even just a little bit of something to help reduce my pain. :(

How can I figure this out?

245
Cat (lemmy.world)
 

Cat

Tap for spoilerI got a really close shot of him and just wanted to post lol.

46
submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by dingus@lemmy.world to c/tattoos@lemmy.ml
 

Obviously not a color tattoo so it can't convey it super well, but it means it to me and that's what matters.

I know my last one I posted had a decent amount of downvotes lol. From a technical and longevity standpoint, this seems like it is executed a lot better, but I still love both.

Edit: Oh I guess that one is a bit blurry. This one should be more clear. Not sure if this crowd will like this either haha.

 

Just a sort of open ended question. I want to share my experience and am curious to hear of others as well. Sorry, this is long winded!

So my provider asked if I would be willing to try a therapy program that meets multiple times per week. I then got a phone call from the company about the specific details of the program. Holy moly! It was a program with 9-10 hours of therapy per WEEK (almost ALL of which is group therapy, not individual) and it lasts multiple months...guess that's how these work.

At the time (and maybe it still is), it seemed like a bit of an overreaction from her. And goddamn, the time commitment on top of working is just insane. To top it all off, the reviews of the company were absolutely fucking horrendous...couldn't find a single positive one and was beginning to think it was a scam.

But I agreed to try (after giving the admissions people a hard time lol sorry!). My first day I was absolutely pissed the fuck off of how absolutely fucking useless it seemed...until I got to the last hour...they gave us a bite-sized thing to chew on and try to apply in our lives.

Well guess what? They NEXT FUCKING DAY, I coincidentally by absolute chance had a major fucking mental health issue. I used the skill they gave along with another skill I learned on my own before the program and IT FUCKING WORKED.

So I figured there may be was something to this and kept attending. Each day I would get slowly less pissed off. I slowly was able to start reading between the lines and understand and appreciate the format of the program. I'm only a couple of weeks in now, but I don't regret wading further in. Am I "cured"? No. But it is helping me day by day to work on little things and little habits at a time to grow.

With commitment and the right mindset, this so far has felt more helpful than therapists I have tried to see once every two weeks for almost a year now. My provider told me that her goal for me was to finally get into a better place and theoretically need a regular therapist way less if even at all. And to reduce or stop having issues juggling various meds to see what might work...as the therapy would theoretically involve most or all of the heavy lifting.

Monetarily in the US, this sort of thing is not going to be accessible to everyone, so I'm grateful that I have been in the position to do so. These programs take insurance...but if your insurance doesn't cover enough, it can still be a great cost.

tl;dr - While this sort of thing isn't for everyone by far, I would honestly encourage people to have an open mind if you are ever referred to one of these things. Give it a bit and really try your hardest to be open minded, even though it can be very difficult.

163
submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by dingus@lemmy.world to c/cat@lemmy.world
 

Was going to cancel the visit because he improved a lot but I took him in anyway because it was scheduled. Felt a little silly, but I'm new to FIV! They did some baseline blood work instead because he had never had any before.

I have been giving him lysine powder every day for the past week. Maybe that has an effect idk. The vet said I can just give that to him forever if I want and it shouldn't hurt anything.

Verdict is that he will likely always have one watery eye, possibly due to a mild anatomic abnormal. And he might have very mild allergies or very mild asthma which does not really affect his life too much.

But I guess he needs to lose 1-2 pounds so we'll work on that next! He also has some tartar buildup so I'll have to see if I can get him to use dental chews.

155
FIV+ cat tips? (lemmy.world)
submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by dingus@lemmy.world to c/cat@lemmy.world
 

Hi! I adopted an FIV+ cat this past August. From reading online, I didn't think they would get sick too much more often than FIV- cats. I decided to adopt knowing that some might be turned off by his FIV status and knowing that I am lucky to be able to afford vet bills.

BUT this is the third upper respiratory tract infection he has had in 5 months. Each time, it doesn't seem to clear it on his own without antibiotics. I'm concerned he'll end up with antibiotic resistance over time if I keep doing this.

The first illness, he was given both oral antibiotics and eye drops for 2 weeks. The second time (several months later) his eyes weren't as bad and they gave me a supply of oral antibiotics only for 1 week (wish it could have been 2...didn't realize they only gave me enough for one). It's been a couple of months and he's sick again. I'm gonna take him in a few days if this doesn't start to clear again.

Some notes:

-He is an indoor only cat. I do not have other pets.

-He was swabbed for herpes one of the times and it was negative. One of the times he had a mycoplasma infection and the other time he was not swabbed.

-He was tested as FeLV- at the shelter. But I suppose if he had a very early infection, it might not have shown up.

-He mostly acts pretty normal during his infections thankfully (eating, using the bathroom, etc)...just maybe sometimes a tad less active.

-I'm going to start giving him lysine powder daily in his food (twice a day). The vet had me give it to him for the duration of the first infection, but I may as well just continue it forever since it seems fairly benign.

Thanks, guys!

 

Usually I keep this band flipped the other way so it's a private message for just me.

 

Quite frankly I'm just at a loss at this point. Been on the therapy and meds journey for almost a year now, and did the whole exercise shebang consistently for like 2 years. I was doing cardio for an hour every 1-2 days.

I am getting quite disillusioned and don't understand what I'm even doing anymore. I'm getting so caught up in various things that I'm just confused as all hell. Every time I think I figure something out, I end up so wrong it's almost like it's not even funny.

I have intense reactions to rejection. I have extreme and intense negative emotions that persist for many hours and days after a trigger and they are very painful and difficult to deal with and can impair functioning. I have a lot of social anxiety, which I did not think contributed much to this. But now I'm wondering if I have a pattern of social anxiety --> extreme rejection sensitivity --> extreme emotional dysregulation.

I have been on escitalopram (Lexapro), then lamotrigine (Lamictal), and now quetiapine (Seroquel). I do not have ADHD. I do not have bipolar disorder. I don't even have persistent depression. I have periodic extreme episodes that cause a lot of distress and can cause functional impairment like how my work threatened to fire me. I also have intense shame and self-hatred, often babbling to my online friends nonsense about how I'm a "demon" when I get this way. I am also totally normal 90% of the time. It's only the remaining 10% that causes the struggle.

People always tell me to "go to therapy". I am. I have seen multiple therapists and have been consistent with this one since the fall. People tell me I don't put enough work. I am. People tell me I am not honest enough to my providers. I am. People tell me try a different therapist. I have tried many (I stick with my main one for continuity and so that I don't have to keep rehashing my backstory).

At this point I feel like I don't know what is down and what is up. I no longer understand what my problem is anymore. Every time I think I figure out what my issue is, every time I think I figure out a technique to help me, I'm wrong.

I'm starting to think that this is who I am. It is unchangeable. I experience a lot of pain and sensitivity where others don't. I wish that wasn't the case, but I think it can't be changed.

Idk where do I go from here, friends? Thank you to those who have read my entire rant lmao.

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