dingus

I'm in my early 30s, so not necessarily "mid-life", but I think what I have been experiencing can be described this way. I went through a lot this past year, and it has both left some large scars as well as healed some other aspects and caused new ways of thinking in others. I've tried new things and enjoyed the things that I've tried.

But I feel like I need something "more", but I have no idea what that is. I keep getting caught on the horrifying realization of life being fleeting and I want to do something to make it more whole. But I can't outrun death so I don't know that anything is left to be done. But I feel like I need something to fill that space. I may in fact be chasing something that doesn't exist idk.

I guess I just feel a bit lost and would appreciate some direction.

More about me that may or may not influence your advice: I've always been a loner and the sort of "terminally online" type. I don't experience sexual attraction, so it sort of puts most options of relationships out the window. Asexual "dating" is not as prevalent or simple as you'd think. My career is very solid and I'm paid very well, so I'm not interested in switching careers. My career was a huge source of my trauma this past year, but I have made a lot of progress since and it's really not something I can easily change. I have discovered new and healthier forms of self-expression and have done new things. I own where I live and would not be able to sell it for as much as I paid for it either, which is another reason I'd be against moving. I am physically close-ish to family and visit every couple of weeks.

Thanks all for listening.

UPDATE: Fucker gets the zip tie treatment. I zip tied the shit out of it so we'll see lmao. The springs are unfortunately too long for the reflectors with the springs. Also I think one of the main issues is that the washers that come with these reflectors are way too goddamn small for the hole they sit in on my bike. So idk.

I'm pissed af right now! Took the cover off to ride to work this morning and saw it was missing. I have no idea when it fell off.

I should have known this would happen...the plate would always get caught and slightly dislodged while putting on and taking off the cover. And the shitty thumb screws seemed like they could easily loosen with vibration. I have no idea why it doesn't have a more secure attachment point.

No idea how long it will take to get a new one either. At least I took the day off tomorrow morning so I can fuck around a bit. Looks like I can likely file for a new one at my DMV without a police report, but I might try to report it to the police anyway as per some other randoms on the internet.

When I get a new one, that fucker is getting fucking zip tied on this time. No more shitty thumb screws.

It would have been such a nice morning ride into work too.

Hopefully this isn't breaking rules. Yes it is a veiled attempt at advice because I've been hemming and hawing. But the question can be answered purely as is. There are obviously pros and cons so I'd like to know how you all feel.

Thank you.

Hi all. Noob here back again. I got the screws out of the front master cylinder, but I have been having a different problem.

When under higher RPMs, the bike gives off a VERY strong fuel smell. It's still noticeable at lower RPMs, but not as bad. It didn't do this initially when I got it a few months ago, but I didn't ride it much initially.

Bike is a 2017 Honda Rebel 300. Fuel injected. No carb.

I noticed that the gasket to the gas cap was a bit cracked and distorted so I got a new gas cap. Didn't resolve the issue.

There are no visible leaks anywhere that I can tell.

The smell is very strong around the gas cap and engine, not so much the tailpipe. The bike seems to run great otherwise.

Unfortunately, googling seems to show this as a very nonspecific issue, so I'm a bit lost as to where to begin. I'm a huge noob when it comes to mechanical things.

Thanks!

Hello. I'm a new rider who recently purchased a ten year old bike. I have ZERO mechanical know how, but decided that I wanted to learn.

So far I managed to take both the front and rear wheels off to get the tires changed and I managed to change the oil. Since I am unskilled, it took a LOT of fumbling through these to get things going...including breaking some nuts (rear axle nut was stuck and I originally only had a 12 point socket) and bolts (overtorqued an oil filter cover bolt despite using a torque wrench) and buying replacement ones.

Since the bike is 10 years old, I know that all of the fluids need to be changed. I feel comfortable attempting the actual change for the brake fluid from my research EXCEPT I don't want to irreparably damage this area. The front brake works fine, but the sight glass is totally clouded and opaque, so I cannot visually check the condition or level of the fluid.

These are JIS screws and I have purchased replacement screws. Any advice here? Please consider my novice skill level lol.

I bought some screw extractor bits but do not have an impact driver. I have some JIS screwdrivers, a hammer, a regular drill, penetrating oil, and replacement JIS screws.

Thanks!

It's now my one year "anniversary" of my psych med "journey". I just feel so frustrated.

The providers always ask me how I'm doing and if I think X drug we are trying right now helps. I always have no fucking clue.

I keep a mood log and everything, but I cannot for the life of me discern any sort of pattern for any of these. One month will be fantastic and the next month will be so horrible and painful it's like someone is boring a hole through my body with a branding iron.

My provider is having me take the GeneSight test to figure out if there is a particular option I should be trying. But I am just so exhausted with this that I'm considering the next med to be my final straw.

I do NOT have bipolar disorder. I do NOT have chronic low mood. I do NOT have lack of emotions. I do NOT have PTSD. I have periods of extreme, unbearable intensity with periods of normal in between. I have relational trauma. Since my issues are intermittent, I cannot for the life of me tell if I am ever helped by anything.

I am currently in an intensive DBT program. While it has been a lifesaver when I have "simple" problems, it does not touch the intense pain of others.

Some research I do seems to indicate my problem cannot be even minimally helped by meds, which is incredibly frustrating. I want even just a little bit of something to help reduce my pain. :(

How can I figure this out?

Cat

Obviously not a color tattoo so it can't convey it super well, but it means it to me and that's what matters.

I know my last one I posted had a decent amount of downvotes lol. From a technical and longevity standpoint, this seems like it is executed a lot better, but I still love both.

Edit: Oh I guess that one is a bit blurry. This one should be more clear. Not sure if this crowd will like this either haha.

Just a sort of open ended question. I want to share my experience and am curious to hear of others as well. Sorry, this is long winded!

So my provider asked if I would be willing to try a therapy program that meets multiple times per week. I then got a phone call from the company about the specific details of the program. Holy moly! It was a program with 9-10 hours of therapy per WEEK (almost ALL of which is group therapy, not individual) and it lasts multiple months...guess that's how these work.

At the time (and maybe it still is), it seemed like a bit of an overreaction from her. And goddamn, the time commitment on top of working is just insane. To top it all off, the reviews of the company were absolutely fucking horrendous...couldn't find a single positive one and was beginning to think it was a scam.

But I agreed to try (after giving the admissions people a hard time lol sorry!). My first day I was absolutely pissed the fuck off of how absolutely fucking useless it seemed...until I got to the last hour...they gave us a bite-sized thing to chew on and try to apply in our lives.

Well guess what? They NEXT FUCKING DAY, I coincidentally by absolute chance had a major fucking mental health issue. I used the skill they gave along with another skill I learned on my own before the program and IT FUCKING WORKED.

So I figured there may be was something to this and kept attending. Each day I would get slowly less pissed off. I slowly was able to start reading between the lines and understand and appreciate the format of the program. I'm only a couple of weeks in now, but I don't regret wading further in. Am I "cured"? No. But it is helping me day by day to work on little things and little habits at a time to grow.

With commitment and the right mindset, this so far has felt more helpful than therapists I have tried to see once every two weeks for almost a year now. My provider told me that her goal for me was to finally get into a better place and theoretically need a regular therapist way less if even at all. And to reduce or stop having issues juggling various meds to see what might work...as the therapy would theoretically involve most or all of the heavy lifting.

Monetarily in the US, this sort of thing is not going to be accessible to everyone, so I'm grateful that I have been in the position to do so. These programs take insurance...but if your insurance doesn't cover enough, it can still be a great cost.

tl;dr - While this sort of thing isn't for everyone by far, I would honestly encourage people to have an open mind if you are ever referred to one of these things. Give it a bit and really try your hardest to be open minded, even though it can be very difficult.

Was going to cancel the visit because he improved a lot but I took him in anyway because it was scheduled. Felt a little silly, but I'm new to FIV! They did some baseline blood work instead because he had never had any before.

I have been giving him lysine powder every day for the past week. Maybe that has an effect idk. The vet said I can just give that to him forever if I want and it shouldn't hurt anything.

Verdict is that he will likely always have one watery eye, possibly due to a mild anatomic abnormal. And he might have very mild allergies or very mild asthma which does not really affect his life too much.

But I guess he needs to lose 1-2 pounds so we'll work on that next! He also has some tartar buildup so I'll have to see if I can get him to use dental chews.

Hi! I adopted an FIV+ cat this past August. From reading online, I didn't think they would get sick too much more often than FIV- cats. I decided to adopt knowing that some might be turned off by his FIV status and knowing that I am lucky to be able to afford vet bills.

BUT this is the third upper respiratory tract infection he has had in 5 months. Each time, it doesn't seem to clear it on his own without antibiotics. I'm concerned he'll end up with antibiotic resistance over time if I keep doing this.

The first illness, he was given both oral antibiotics and eye drops for 2 weeks. The second time (several months later) his eyes weren't as bad and they gave me a supply of oral antibiotics only for 1 week (wish it could have been 2...didn't realize they only gave me enough for one). It's been a couple of months and he's sick again. I'm gonna take him in a few days if this doesn't start to clear again.

Some notes:

-He is an indoor only cat. I do not have other pets.

-He was swabbed for herpes one of the times and it was negative. One of the times he had a mycoplasma infection and the other time he was not swabbed.

-He was tested as FeLV- at the shelter. But I suppose if he had a very early infection, it might not have shown up.

-He mostly acts pretty normal during his infections thankfully (eating, using the bathroom, etc)...just maybe sometimes a tad less active.

-I'm going to start giving him lysine powder daily in his food (twice a day). The vet had me give it to him for the duration of the first infection, but I may as well just continue it forever since it seems fairly benign.

Thanks, guys!