WELL HAAAWWWT DAWWG ππ π€©
this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2026
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And a wiener.
It IS supposed to be hot...
And a very wide stance.
Hold up...is that supposed to be Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks holding the tiddy dog's hand?
In what context does this even exist?? π
Apparently it's from a restaurant in Chicago.
Alvin and the Titdogs
"Yeah, but what if we sexualized a hotdog the other way?"
That reminds me of the ancient Egyptian fertility god, Min.
You know how fertility gods are often attractive women, think Aphrodite and the like? That was a relatively recent invention, the ancient Egyptians had a black guy with a huge erection and a "flail":
That was a relatively recent invention
Idk man I think the paleolithic predates ancient Egypt.
Most date from the Gravettian period (26,000β21,000 years ago).[1] However, findings are not limited to this period; for example, the Venus of Hohle Fels dates back at least 35,000 years to the Aurignacian era, and the Venus of Monruz dates back about 11,000 years to the Magdalenian, and the Catalhoyuk figurine[2], 8000 years old.
Prehistoric figurines like that I'm counting as inadmissible because we don't know what they were for. It's common to call them "Venuses" and something something fertility totems but nobody knows for sure what they're for or why they were made. They could have been anything from goddess totems to self-portraits to wank dolls.
Contrast that to portraits of Min on Egyptian temple walls where we have a pretty thorough understanding of their purpose.
Let's face it. They were wank dolls. Prehistoric hustler.
I saw a video by Joe Scott in which he asked the question, what was the earliest depiction of a human face? Because it's a weirdly recent phenomenon; prehistoric cave paintings are full of animals and silhouettes of human hands, but rarely any humans at all and if so only as rudimentary stick figures, nowhere near as well drawn as the animals. There are extremely few depictions of human faces that predate the invention of writing. Those "Venus" statues are practically always headless or, like the one shown above, has an abstract nub where the head should be.
Have you a link to the video?
That's just a normal hotdog then lol
I really don't understand the obsession with everything cylindrical being a phallice. Like I don't look at my fingers and think "DICKS!!!Β‘!" and I love taking a warm glizzy down the back of my throat....
Yeah, nevermind. I get it.
"Iβve dwelt among the humans. Their entire culture is built around their penises Itβs funny to say they are small, itβs funny to say they are big. Iβve been at parties where humans have held bottles, pencils and thermoses in front of themselves and called out, βHey, look at me! Iβm Mr. So-And-So Dick! Iβve got such-and-such for a penis!β I never saw it fail to get a laugh."
Sometimes a cigar is just a representation of your desire to kill your father and fornicate with your mother.
Alvin is wearing eyeliner like a 70/80βs rock band.
Or a couch fucking VP.
Or that lol, god this timeline sucks.
The animated actor who played that hot dog later wound up as a superhero car in this role:
Alvin is being a gentleman and not ogling her UNLIKE SOME PPL
Cows, pigs and chickens have udders, so it should be udders.
Chickens
You've never seen a chicken udder? How else do you think we get chicken milk?
You wouldn't milk a chicken, would you?
You don't know my life.
I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?
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Yet dinosaurs are never depicted with genitals. As if they didn't procreate.
You're welcome
That's a challenging wank
No cloacas in Jurassic Park
Do you really want to see a T-Rex running towards you with a huge erection? Because that's what will happen if these cloning companies have their way!
Life, uh, life finds a way
I want breast implants on my wiener.
Nah that's its chin. Handsome Squidward-lookin' ass.
How else can you tell it's a girl hotdog?
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