I can explain
this post was submitted on 04 Mar 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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Stop peckin my peener. I got more holes to fuck after this one.
THIS IS MY HOUSE STOP PUTTING YOUR WEINER IN IT
wait thats why its called a pecker? I'm learning so much this year. Dementia my ass.
I thought it was because it's a cock, like a rooster
Which of our owls would be most likely to bite Alex Jones?
on the dick or just in general
In general
I don't want to debase any of them by going for that mangled tube of CockForce+
fair
Sorry alex this is apparently still too sophisticated for libs to comprehend.
Me doing my best gravely-voiced Alex Jones impression which is bad - very, very bad.
"So - Imagine there's a hole. There could be a rattlesnake in that hole. A rattlesnake - okay? It's a hole in the ground. You can hear'm rattle: rattle-rattle-rattle 'cause - you know - he's a rattlesnake. And you get flat on the ground. You put your groin area real close to that hole. Then you pull down your drawers. And you put your pecker right in there! And ya - you know - you do the hokey pokey and ya shake it all about. And... Do I gotta explain every little detail?..."
brow furrows "Damn you magic man which hole in the ground am I supposed to fuck?!"
That is the most confusing, and disconcerting, analogies I've heard in a while
For Alex Jones - this is remarkably clear and succinct.
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That one scene in Flash Gordon that scared me as a kid.
Kelly-ngon
Glory Hole
That's so wrong. But it is pretty funny.
my man is funny when he's not harassing the parents of murdered children or whatever racism and queermisia he gets up to.
Like Trump was before Brandon bit him and transmitted the rabies, the wet boy dried out at last by hydrophobia
Trump thought this was like walking around in New York, in Maralago. Thought sticking America's Dick in a hole was gonna be nice and comfy. Thought sticking Our Collective Dick in a hole was gonna make us CUM. Nope! This is the desert! This is danger country! Something in that hole will bite our dick. Nixon thought sticking our dick in a jungle hole would be nice! He was wrong, our dick got bit by a jungle snake! Trump is doing the same mistake! This ain't some comfy holes in France or Italy in the 40's, some nice place to put our dick and cum while the world applauds us! No! Our dick is getting bit by a horny toad and the world is laughing at us!
He'll be back give it a week and some superficial victories.
I used to watch reruns of him back when he did a call in show for a public access channel in austin back in the 90’s.
I lived way out in the sticks back in the 90s and the only thing we could pick up was a relatively far away public access station in a different Texas town. That town played reruns of alex jones’ public access show on its channel on friday nights. They were a couple weeks behind I think. It was a long time ago and while it wasnt like I was tuning in for his show when you live in the middle of fucking nowhere in the mid 90’s all there was was public access or satellite dish and my folks were too poor for satellite dishes so sometimes I watched alex jones.
My first encounter with Jones was the film Waking Life, while high as fuck on some strong acid. Definitely an uncomfortable part of the trip.
Nice, but where's the pygmy owls in this story? 🦉🦉🦉