this post was submitted on 04 Mar 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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Sorry alex this is apparently still too sophisticated for libs to comprehend.
Me doing my best gravely-voiced Alex Jones impression which is bad - very, very bad.
"So - Imagine there's a hole. There could be a rattlesnake in that hole. A rattlesnake - okay? It's a hole in the ground. You can hear'm rattle: rattle-rattle-rattle 'cause - you know - he's a rattlesnake. And you get flat on the ground. You put your groin area real close to that hole. Then you pull down your drawers. And you put your pecker right in there! And ya - you know - you do the hokey pokey and ya shake it all about. And... Do I gotta explain every little detail?..."
brow furrows "Damn you magic man which hole in the ground am I supposed to fuck?!"