this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2026
530 points (99.1% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

37353 readers
3403 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
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[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 2 points 33 minutes ago

Your profile says you only have 5.5k!

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 42 minutes ago

Eating beans while trying not to poop is the ultimate challenge.

[–] FirmDistribution@lemmy.world 2 points 50 minutes ago (1 children)
[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 3 points 46 minutes ago (1 children)

Happily married but will send feet pics for the right price.

[–] FirmDistribution@lemmy.world 2 points 44 minutes ago

Shame. I'll send you 2 cans full of beans for the feet tho

[–] OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago (1 children)
[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 5 points 4 hours ago

Your pocket beans are leaking.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 61 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Congrats! Here, I got this for you:

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 19 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Aww, I’m touched! You shouldn’t have… no really, I don’t think this will fit up there.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@piefed.world 39 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Glad you're here!

Those weekly submissions to the admins are a pain. I'm running out of ideas.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 16 points 22 hours ago

I’m glad you are here as well!

As far as the nudes go, I started doing art periods and genres. Impressionism, cubism, surrealism, abstraction… my butthole has many iterations.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 20 hours ago

... stool samples?

... kinda difficult to ship physically, but we could all just literally provide a daily shit post, just so you know how regular we all are, potentially screen for internal bleeding or a few conditions.

[–] SillyDude@lemmy.zip 14 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

While I'm sad lemm.ee shutdown, I'm kinda relieved I don't have to send those admins my used underwear monthly anymore. Lemmy.zip only requires feet pics once to join.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Feet pics once? That’s a bargain. I hope you got a pedicure for your submission!

[–] piranhaconda@mander.xyz 1 points 17 minutes ago* (last edited 17 minutes ago)

Which instance should I join if I just lost half a big toenail? Surely someone's into that...

[–] PopcornPrincess@lemmy.world 16 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

You’re a Lemmy cornerstone. We need more contributors like you!

Also shoutout to all the bean lovers. 🫘

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 4 points 19 hours ago

I didn't understand her bean reference and I'm scrolling down the comments trying to figure it out and it's still pretty cryptic down here.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 6 points 21 hours ago

Thank you! 🫘 forever!

[–] VolumetricShitCompressor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Well done. You may take a day off to ponder your orb.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 5 points 21 hours ago

Thank you. The orb will be pondered.

[–] sorrybookbroke@sh.itjust.works 4 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (1 children)

The dude asked me kindly to stop. Can you guys send me some so I don't have to move to piefed? I can't afford a feader fetish right now

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 5 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works 3 points 15 hours ago

Stop! We can only handle so many exceptional posts!!

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 17 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Thank you for your service 🫘

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 8 points 22 hours ago

Glad to be here!

[–] MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz 12 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Those are rookie numbers

(This is in jest, what I post takes less effort)

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 6 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

You are a legend still. Everyone needs someone to aspire to!

[–] MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz 4 points 21 hours ago

Thanks!

I do take credit for my comments, tho. Nothing automated there!

[–] IntriguedIceberg@lemmy.world 7 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Really appreciate the effort. Seen your posts on several communities and I've always enjoyed your content. I always look forwards to your bats and opposum submissions!

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 4 points 21 hours ago

Thank you so much! I do love those night creatures. Gonna get a tattoo of each eventually.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 5 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

6,000 posts? I've never seen you once....

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 4 points 20 hours ago

I post a lot in various animal communities and various shitpost/meme communities. If you don’t visit those or have them blocked… you probably wouldn’t see me.

[–] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 7 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Appreciate all you contribute! Coming up on 2000, myself.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 8 points 23 hours ago

Coming up with creative titles to posts is hard

[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 7 points 23 hours ago (3 children)

You made me curious what my own post count was, apparently 4,834 in the past 8 months.

I wonder how many this account has over the full 3 years without the PieFed reset.

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[–] einfach_orangensaft@sh.itjust.works 2 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

6k and thats probably just counting the primary account lol, great work!

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago

Thank you! I just have the one account, so all the love goes here.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 6 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

learning how not to poop for 3 days with you guys!

So is this:

  • A) spending a period of 3 days mastering the art of mastering your bowls
  • B) spending that 6000-post-long period learning how to only poop every 3 days
  • C) spending that 6000-post-long period learning how to not poop for a period of 3 days at a time

Either way, I would like to be pointed to the source of this knowledge.

[–] blueworld@piefed.world 7 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

https://lemmy.world/post/616615

I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack? - Lemmy.world

lemmy.world

Please don’t ask why I need this. It would be great if the food also made me sweat less. It has to be something I can easily find. EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION: - I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities. - I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere. - I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere. - I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully). - Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself. - If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets. Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

[–] tamal3@lemmy.world 4 points 16 hours ago

Thank you dearly and sincerely for saving the text. I thought it was gone forever after OP deleted their post (internet terrorism imo). Last i saw the comment section was still kicking around, but without being able to see the question.

Should be in a best of archive and saved for posterity. The set up was important, but the comment section was the best sleuthing around. Would love to know if it actually was the haj.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 10 points 22 hours ago (3 children)

It looks like the original post is gone, but there was a guy 2.5 years ago who asked how to avoid pooping for 3 days. It generated a lot of buzz and was the first big insider meme that appeared on Lemmy to my knowledge.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 3 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

I think in hindsight someone figured out the guy was probably trying to make a joke about being on that sub that sank going to the Titanic.

[–] tamal3@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago

I thought the best conclusion was the haj. All the details lined up.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago

That actually makes a lot of sense. Whatever it was, it conquered our collective hearts and minds for days.

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[–] kamenlady@lemmy.world 3 points 23 hours ago (1 children)
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