this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2025
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[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 82 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Anyone holding this view can get in the sea

Equally moronic as saying the letter "e" is passive aggressive

[–] TheRealKuni@piefed.social 35 points 2 weeks ago (19 children)

It’s not that EVERY full stop is passive aggressive, it’s about interpreting tone.

So for example, when I text my parents and say, “Thank you for the invite, we’d be happy to come over for dinner next Monday!” and my dad replies, “Great.” That looks passive aggressive.

He doesn’t mean it that way, tone interpretation from short texts just isn’t something he’s fluent in like those of us who’ve been texting (or IMing back before texts) most of our lives.

If he had said “Great” that would be fine, as would “Great!” But “Great.” is interpreted as sarcastic and/or passive aggressive.

[–] baronvonj@lemmy.world 31 points 2 weeks ago (8 children)

and my dad replies, “Great.” That looks passive aggressive

What about it makes it look passive aggressive? How would excluding punctuation make it not look passive aggressive?

[–] Echolynx@lemmy.zip 1 points 5 days ago

The fact that 'great' by itself is not a full sentence, and a period indicates a declarative stop.

See example above.

[–] osaerisxero@kbin.melroy.org 37 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

It's the explicit inclusion of period where 'normally' there wouldn't be one. In texting or DMs it would normally be assumed that one-liners wouldn't contain punctuation except to enhance effect, so the inclusion of the full stop is being read as a 😐 or exaggerated neutrality

[–] baronvonj@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago (18 children)

It’s the explicit inclusion of period where ‘normally’ there wouldn’t be one.

But given the larger history of textual communication, full punctuation is normal. Texting isn't charged per character so it's not like there's a benefit to leaving it out.

[–] osaerisxero@kbin.melroy.org 10 points 2 weeks ago

Texting isn't charged per character anymore, and only in most places most of the time. And those habits may still persist in other places. My manner of 'speech' is very different in front of a keyboard vs on a phone, for instance.

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[–] TheRealKuni@piefed.social 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (5 children)

What about it makes it look passive aggressive?

Good question!

As I explained later in the post, “Great.” looks like sarcasm. My brain interprets it as having a sarcastic tone, and thus being passive aggressive.

(I am not alone in this, hence the very thing we’re commenting on.)

How would excluding punctuation make it not look passive aggressive?

You might as well ask why tone of voice changes the way we interpret things. Written short-form communication has evolved cultural norms that some people understand better than others, just like spoken communication. Chalk my tone interpretation up to an adolescence spent on IRC.

My point is that the full stop being passive aggressive is contextual. None of my uses of it here are intended to portray passive aggression or sarcasm, and if I wanted to do that I would not only change my sentence length and structure, but also my vocabulary.

But of course these norms aren’t as readily understood as actual tone of voice, which is why things like “/s” can be useful.

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[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

it's about interpreting tone.

Kinda feels passive aggressive, idk man

That's silly, and at the very least probably gonna cause unconscious bias to second language speakers, neurodivergent people & just anyone who doesn't communicate via text as much as we do

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[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 48 points 2 weeks ago

This is a stupid rule and I will continue to ignore it.

[–] BranBucket@lemmy.world 43 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

If you insist on interpreting my use of punctuation in a text as anything other than an effort to communicate clearly, I'm likely to start being passive aggressive at some point.

[–] tal@lemmy.today 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"Ah, an em-dash. You must be an AI."

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[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 36 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (18 children)

There's actually a name for people who perceive proper punctuation as being passive aggressive. They're called "morons."

Edit: in the name of further research I asked my wife, who is a non-punctuation texter, what she thought about this. Here's what I got.

Results of Conversation with Mrs. jubilationtcornpone

Me: "If someone sent you a message that had a period at the end, would you think they were angry with you?"

Her: "Like now? No. When I was younger? Yes."

Me: "Why would you think that when you were younger?"

Her: "Hmmm. I don't really know. I guess because women tend to read between the lines, even if there's nothing there. And because people like to have something to complain about and little miscommunications are an easy target."

Me: "Ok. So why doesn't it bother you now?"

Her: "Probably because I met you and you always use punctuation. You know ? She knows when he's mad at her just based on specific words he uses in texts or just the way he says something."

Me: "So if you start using punctuation, I should be concerned?"

Her: "Like if I say "I'm fine." With a period and everything?"

Me: "Yes."

Her: "Yeah. That means I'm not fine."

Me: "That's a lot of pressure to put on a period."

Her: "True."

Me: "But you already know I'm going to infer nothing from that. I probably won't even notice."

Her: "Yeah. I know. That's why l would just tell you."

Me: "Fair enough."

Her: "You're just one of those people who says exactly what they mean. There's no cryptic message or anything."

Me: "That's what I'm talking about!"

Her: "It is kind of nice actually."

[–] exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What is "proper punctuation"? Isn't it context dependent?

Not every instance of written language is written in complete sentences.

A sign that says "SALE" is normal, but a sign that says "Sale." would be unusual, maybe some kind of marketing or design choice.

Social convention around IMs and chat rooms in the early versions of live chat, in the 90's, capitalization and punctuation were not ordinarily used. Multiple sentences per message were also not the norm.

Text messages have always been somewhere between 90's style IMs (uncapitalized and unpunctuated phrases, not full sentences) and a full email message (full salutations and signatures). The convention depends on the context, and autocorrect has changed what is or isn't normal.

So a text message response that says "that's fine" conveys a distinct message from one that says "That's fine."

That's how human communication works. Trying to start every text message with "Dear Jake," and ending it with "Sincerely, Raymond Holt" would be weird.

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[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 35 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] TheFermentalist@reddthat.com 24 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Nothing passive about that.

[–] Alaik@lemmy.zip 12 points 2 weeks ago

This is the way. Fuck passive aggressive. Be aggressive aggressive.

[–] newtraditionalists@kbin.melroy.org 32 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

Man, that must suck to be so incredibly insecure that you project your need for constant validation on to, quite literally, the most innocuous thing.

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[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 31 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm glad that full stops are now passive aggressive, because that's been my intent all along.

[–] Schlemmy@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)
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[–] lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com 29 points 2 weeks ago

Those rules are cringe, and you can safely tell them to suck your passive aggressive butthole.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 2 weeks ago (23 children)

Uh, just in general, people tend to react horrifically to long messages, 'walls of text'.

... even on discussion boards, like here on lemmy, or as a first intro message to someone on some kind of dating app/site.

I've been using the internet since the mid 90s.

It did not used to be like this.

People thought of messages as letters, like emails.

Now, a lot of people will get viscerally angry or disgusted in basically nearly any digital context if you send a message that's longer than roughly double the original Twitter character limit.

Hooray for normalizing slogans and soundbites in lieu of actual discourse, hooray for kicking off the trend of destroying our collective capacity to read multiple paragraphs at a time, great job Dorsey.

[–] tal@lemmy.today 15 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

I’ve been using the internet since the mid 90s.

It did not used to be like this.

A high proportion of people on the Internet in the mid-90s were associated with tech or universities and were comparatively well-educated. It was not a representative slice of society.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_September

Eternal September or the September that never ended was a cultural phenomenon during a period beginning around late 1993 and early 1994, when Internet service providers began offering Usenet access to many new users.[1][2] Before this, the only sudden changes in the volume of new users of Usenet occurred each September, when cohorts of university students would gain access to it for the first time, in sync with the academic calendar.

The flood of new and generally inexperienced Internet users directed to Usenet by commercial ISPs in 1993 and subsequent years swamped the existing culture of those forums and their ability to self-moderate and enforce existing norms. AOL began their Usenet gateway service in March 1994, leading to a constant stream of new users.[3] Hence, from the early Usenet community point of view, the influx of new users that began in September 1993 appeared to be endless.

During the 1980s and early 1990s, Usenet and the Internet were generally the domain of dedicated computer professionals and hobbyists; new users joined slowly, in small numbers, and learned to observe the social conventions of online interaction without having much of an impact on the experienced users.

The only exception to this was September of every year, when large numbers of first-year university students gained access to the Internet and Usenet through their university campuses. These large groups of new users who had not yet learned online etiquette created a nuisance for the experienced users, who came to dread September every year.

And that's just college freshmen.

Internet access today is more universally-available. I'd say that it's just a product of seeing society as a whole writing.

A lot of what people read in, say, the 1980s was from mass media. That generally had a journalist


a professional dedicated to writing


and an editor checking their work. Those people probably had gone to college specifically to pick up writing skills, and likely spent a large portion of their professional lives writing. They had a high level of expertise relative to the population as a whole in that field. Now what you're reading is often without that filter. It's not that people in society changed. It's that you'd never seen society's writing; you'd just been reading what experts put out.

It'd be like most of what you'd seen your whole life was furniture created by professional carpenters, and then suddenly every Tom, Dick, and Harry was creating their own furniture.

I remember staring at YouTube comments when YouTube first came out and thinking "good God, these are terrible". Randall Munroe, who clearly had the same reaction, did a whole cartoon about it:

https://xkcd.com/202/

https://lemmy.today/api/v3/image_proxy?url=https%3A%2F%2Fimgs.xkcd.com%2Fcomics%2Fyoutube.png

The answer, of course, isn't that YouTube users are unusual. It's that the people who watch videos are more-representative of society than those who are writing and reading long-form text on Usenet or whatnot. That comes as a sudden and abrupt shock if you're used to reading that Usenet stuff. That is, you'd been in a bubble, and that bubble went away.

Randall worked at NASA. If you work at NASA and are accustomed to conversation among a bubble of what people who work at NASA say about space and then abruptly get thrown into an environment where people who don't work at NASA are talking about space, I expect that it's pretty shocking.

I remember also reading about what happened when email entered into businesses. It kind of mirrored this. For a long time, it was kind of expected that executives would have a secretary, because doing things like typing wasn't as widespread a skill and correcting errors on a typewriter was more time-consuming than it is today on a computer. A manager would likely at least get access to some sort of shared secretary, even if they didn't merit a personal one. That secretary likely spent a lot of their professional life writing, and got to be pretty good at it. That secretary was probably a lot better at writing than the typical person out there. Then businesses generally decided that with email, a lot of this dedicated-secretary overhead wasn't necessary, and arranged to have people just write their own memos. They promptly discovered that a lot of people high up in their org charts had very little ability to write understandably (probably in part because they'd been relying on secretaries to clean everything up for years), and for some years after email showing up in businesses, having training to remediate this was apparently something of a thing.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secretarial_pool

A secretarial pool or typing pool is a group of secretaries working at a company available to assist any executive without a permanently assigned secretary. These groups have been reduced or eliminated where executives have been assigned responsibility for writing their own letters and other secretarial work.

After the widespread adoption of the typewriter but before the photocopier and personal computer, pools of typists were needed by large companies to produce documents from handwritten manuscripts, re-type documents that had been edited, type documents from audio recordings, or to type copies of documents.

Is all this a bad thing?

Well...the Internet has democratized communication. It means that everyone has a voice. It's got pros and cons. It's changed how politicians communicate (Trump being a good example). It means that it's easier to get material out there, but that the material doesn't have a filter on it that might have been useful.

I think that it might well be the case that the average person today probably writes a lot more than they did in the past, because electronic communication enables written text to be so-readily and quickly transmitted. I'd wager that the average level of writing experience is higher today than in 1995. It's just that you're seeing a higher proportion of Average Joe's writing than Jane the Journalist's writing than you might have in 1995.

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[–] Kissaki@feddit.org 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

I guess 'wall of text' is something different for me than for you, or those you speak of here. For me, it's when the long text has no newlines or paragraphs, making it inaccessible and hard to read or scan.

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[–] supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 26 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (6 children)

I think it is honestly really pathetic that so many of you claim to love language and yet what you really love is having a rigid form of interaction that you can shame people for not perfectly following or reacting intuitively to.

Language is ALWAYS a negotiation, if you dismiss people that interpret your sentences without a period as passive-aggressive, YOU are the one that loses because you have undermined the basic premise of communicating with others in favor of the comforting idea that there are a perfect set of unchanging abstract rules that can be applied to communication that delineate a "correct" way to do things.

There are no rules to language, language is not decided by a committee, language is a living breathing thing that does not give a fuck about your condescending attempt to lock it in stone and direct it towards being used as a tool to shame others with.

You don't get to decide what people react to and don't react to in your language.

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[–] 87Six@lemmy.zip 25 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

I'm tired of people reading text from me, interpreting emotions that don't exist, then getting mad at me for it.

[–] SLVRDRGN@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I don't like your sarcastic attitude

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[–] EsmereldaFritzmonster@lemmings.world 23 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

It's been this way for a long time. 20 years ago I was told I came off as angry in my texts. It took me a sec, but I figured out it's bc i put periods at the end of the last sentence.

That sounds like a good plan. See you there

-vs-

That sounds like a good plan. See you there.

[–] tal@lemmy.today 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That doesn't sound angry to me, but I suppose things are subjective.

[–] WindyRebel@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago (9 children)

Nah. It’s not subjective. It’s the result of fucking imbeciles that don’t read.

That was meant to be angry because taking correct punctuation as some sort of slight is stupid as shit.

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[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 20 points 2 weeks ago (35 children)

So "full stop" means a Period, right? A period is a period, PERIOD. That's all it is. It ends a sentence, so you start a new one. It doesn't contain any emotional ammunition. It certainly isnt passive aggressive, that's just stupid.

What's next? Are we going to start debating the tyranny of the comma, or the righteous indignation of the semi-colon?

Or maybe we should be debating the infiltration of our written communications by Big Emoji? They're obviously behind all of this, trying to encourage more emoji use, to stuff their coffers with that sweet emoji revenue.

Calm the fuck down, people.

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[–] JigglySackles@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Reading in emotions to text to such an extent that normal punctuation is seen as a negative is rather juvenile.

[–] sniggleboots@europe.pub 11 points 2 weeks ago

No need to yell 😖

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 14 points 2 weeks ago

I prefer using the rules we all established and should have learned as children to communicate via text, which includes ending a sentence with a period unless it's an exclamation or a question.

[–] early_riser@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Perhaps related, but when communicating over the radio (including via digital printing modes like RTTY) you have to declare that you're done transmitting and yield the frequency to the other party. This is because your signal may fade, appearing to the other person like you stopped transmitting. This is the purpose of the ubiquitous "over" seen in movies and TV, though in ham circles you use the more casual "go ahead" or "back to you".

I imagine a period sends the same message, but because you don't have to manage turn-taking with texts the way you do on the radio the period can be seen as redundant because they already know you're done speaking. So sending a period may seem like you're emphasizing the finality of your message.

In radio, you signal the end of a contact (QSO) with "out", but again, in ham circles you just say "73".

Is any of this relevant? I have no idea I've been up since 1 AM this morning.

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[–] IWW4@lemmy.zip 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What is a full stop in texting.

[–] WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)
[–] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 26 points 2 weeks ago

No need to be passive aggressive about it.

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[–] NewNewAugustEast@lemmy.zip 12 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

The world is getting dumber by the day. It's a period. It ends the sentence, you are a moron if that bothers you.

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[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

If we're close, a lack of emojis/lols trigger me. 🤷

[–] lath@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

And if we're not close, the addition of emojis triggers me.

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Dear Iath,

This letter serves as formal notice that your account with Lemmy will end effective Saturday, 20 December 2025.

You will receive your final points, including any accrued compensation required by law, in accordance with Lemmy policy. Information regarding other benefits continuation and the return of Lemmy property will be provided separately.

If you have questions regarding this transition, please contact Lemming Resources.

We wish you the best in your future endeavors.

Sincerely 😥,

Tooth

Lemming Resources

Lemmy

Disclaimer: I don't actually work for Lemmy or any of the hosts. Just demonstrating an inappropriate use of emojis in a situation in which the people involved are not close.

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[–] BradleyUffner@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

The last time I was dating someone, she texted me to ask if we were still on for our date the next day. I replied with a thumbs up emoji and some additional text saying I was excited about seeing her again.

When we got together for the date, she asked if I was mad at her about something. I didn't understand, so I asked why she would think that. She explained that the thumbs up emoji is used as a passive aggressive insult now.

👍

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[–] tuff_wizard@aussie.zone 11 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I’ll thumbs up when I like what you’ve said. That’s why the “like” button on every platform is a thumbs up symbol.

You never have to worry about me being passive aggressive and you’ll fucking know when I’m being aggressive.

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[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

This is a stupid rule and I do not use it. Sometimes I write something, add a period, and then decide not to write the next sentence. The period should not be interpreted as a secret message.

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