Yeah I'm AMAB.
Assigned Mum At Beginning-of-my-transition-oh-my-god-girls-my-age-who-have-been-transitioning-longer-than-me-are-looking-for-maternal-advice
this post was submitted on 08 Dec 2025
57 points (100.0% liked)
traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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131 users here now
Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
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Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.
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When you're taking pictures of yourself, don't use a mirror, it'll double the dirt and distort you. Just put your phone on a little tripod (very cheap) at waist level roughly 6 feet away, and use the self-timer. Try not to go any lower, that's how you look like a giant with a chin. Too high above you, and you can look like you have a massive had, and a small body.
Face the light source, not away from it, and diffuse lighting is generally better.
There's loads of posing guides out their, generally just try to get your whole body standing up. Maybe hit THE POSE.
Oops, forgot to hit post when I first finished, no matter.
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As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
spoiler
11 months on hrt and still no booba ๐ but i swear some of my hair loss has reversed 
My hair loss reversed too! It's real!
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mental health
wish I could just be more stable. have a foundation that wasn't so easy to break. it's been two weeks since thanksgiving but I'm still as beat down as I was since then. I wake up and I'm broken down, trauma dreams every night. having trouble working, and I'm afraid my boss is gonna start noticing. can't turn the bad part of my brain off. I haven't started drinking or smoking like I did the last couple of times I felt like this, but it hardly feels like a victory. just want to be able to bounce back. I could deal with feeling bad if it didn't last so long, wasn't so persistent, if I could bounce back.
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I finally got a library card 
You're gonna find it's not very hard to have fun 
mental health stuff + mention of suicide
I'm getting mild panic attacks again. Stress eating constantly. Anything to take my mind off my thoughts.
Then I read someone talk about a suicide attempt from a fellow sister and I got even more panicked. Straight up zoning out and thinking what if I tried to OD? Just one bad day and I'll end up in the hospital? This made things worse.
suicide, self-care
would you consider/are you able to try exercising for your mental health? i am bringing it up because i also have anxiety/add and recently used it to drag myself from the deepest pit i've ever dipped into.
spoiler why i did runnin
I've had add/anxiety since my teens. i have been on a handful of different antidepressants (prozac, wellbutrin, effexor, zoloft, adderol. i did get relief from the meds but i also never felt like myself, never felt ok on em, like crutches for a broken leg they only made it so i could barely function.
i started running (i hate running) and i got better relief (immediate relief) from my mean ol brain than any drug has ever given me.
i hate running but it seems to be the only thing that calms the headmeat. it's actually been pretty incredible, it ain't all roses but even though i hate running i like that i fall asleep better, agonize less, and generally the pits and troughs're higher
:::
i hate running.
Woke up in the middle of the night and cried for an hour and a half.
Can't believe this is all I have going for me in my life. Just this stupid fucking job. No school, no other job, no plans, no SO or even really friends. Hope that I can get to a blue state and find a job and move out and start actually living.
I believe in you and your ability to leave! I grew up in one of the reddest states and now I live in one of the bluest and it really is so much better. You find friends easier, jobs, partners etc. being trans is still harder than being cis anywhere unfortunately but I hope you can hang on because you deserve to live a life that doesn't hurt this much. <3
I think its kind of cute when I'm talking about my problems and stressors to cis people, and they very empatheticly tell me they understand (in a, "I've been through that" kinda way), and then slightly correct themselves that "except for being trans, obviously".
weed, mental health
Been scared to try weed because for a while it could put me out of a job, but I just switched to a place that doesn't care. So I tried it last night. Wow. It felt like being a kid again. For a brief moment, I enjoyed my hobbies, found things funny, and generally "felt" again. I could tell it was wearing off when my smile faded away. Chronic depression sucks.
That gave me some hope that I can feel joy. I can be happy. Did some makeup (badly lol) today and that feeling of joy was there. I'll have to wipe it off soon, but oh my goodness, I see me in the mirror 
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... should I try weed? I'd like something that helps with depression.
!It will be a small reprieve once or twice, but if that becomes your new baseline, then without weed you will feel worse than before.!<
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I meant to add this aspect as well, but I'm inexperienced and didn't know how much that would come off as scaremongering. You could say similar about my antidepressant as well, for example, but I would never steer people away from those. I think the mindset going in is important, that it may not be a solution in itself but can be a tool to make dealing with your problems a little bit easier / more bearable.
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spoiler
rom my experience it doesn't help at all long term. much like booze you can get relief using it for a moment but, just like alcohol sometimes it doesn't help at all or makes it worse instead.
negatives outta the way it's an easy high with easy withdrawal, so if you're in need of a crutch for a bit you could do a lot worse.
I've done lots of drugs and this is just my experience as an afficionado. ymmv
spoiler
I have only used it once, so I can't really speak to that. I know there are people who use it for depression and pain management, though. My siblings are all potheads ๐ฌ I will probably keep using it every once in a while.
It was nice to know that I am not unhappy and anxious in my essence. The brief time I was mildly high made me want to do more to make myself joyful through the day. Sorry for kind of dancing around your question. Hopefully someone with more experience can chime in too
No, it's not a problem 
It doesn't take much for me to just try. I live in a country with lax weed regulations.
Best of luck! I hope it is helpful 
2 is a coincidence, but 3 is a pattern. I can't believe that there is now a third mortal rival of the protagonist who got transed in reverend insanity. That's 3 rivals out of 3! Being this guy's rival is faster for transistioning than hrt!
I swear the author is deliberately fucking around.
I have a suggestion.
I can't believe no one has taken this username.
I'm a big fan of your ideology 
Unbelievable win. A bit on par with Bureaucrat ๐
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patriarchy disguised as matriarchy, transphobia, bioessentialism, and anti feminism (additional content warning reveal below)
spoiler inc*st mention
The (actually quite patriarchal) "matriarchy girl boss" people really make me super uncomfortable ๐ญ its so sad how this messaging just flies over people's heads who dont know any better, like some of these replies are likely bots, but its so easy for these grifting terfy types to just dial it in and for people to gloss it over and run with it. Like just swiping a few pictures deep and we have "the pill causes inc*st" disguised as feminism.
Unfortunately a few people close to me are in a group that heavily plays into these tropes, i went to the group once and never went again. She keeps inviting me but its one of those "women and non binary female identifying" spaces where everyone is expected to share their period cycle.
:::
Your spoiler is broken
Are you using web or an app? This formatting works perfect on web
Huh, I guess in jerboa this breaks. Weird, I can see any other spoilers just fine. Haven't tried lookin in the web
Boost also doesn't like nested spoilers, kinda assumed it was an app thing. I don't know why multiple apps use the same, but different then the web, implication ๐ญ
::: spoiler drunkies
Ams drunkiesss. Went out with my sweetie for my rebirthdayyy, we got pizza and cute dessert. It was so nice!!!! And we had such a lovely timeeeee!!!! An den we went and picked up my meta from their workkk, and we three went to a bar and had drinkies and talked and had such funnnnnn!!!! It was really nice!!! I struggle on my rebirthday an dis made it betters. I hade such a good time djus da twee of us. It was so nice! Ams happy! Normally on my rebirthday im sad and crying. Dis yรฅr ams happy and full of joys! Is success! And i ordereds mysewf a plushie wif a squeaker in it and a pink dog bone chewtoy stimtoy for to gnaw onnnnn! Ams happy, not used to happy on my rebirthday. Ams so happy! Ams happiest pup to ever bark! ARF!
Enby intern at work calling me "man" "guy" "boy" today like it's a competition to unwittingly misgender me. And I couldn't correct them because it wasn't in private and I didn't want other people hearing.
Usually I don't mind getting referred to as a man at work because only a few people know otherwise. But the fact that:
- I've intentionally never referred to myself as a man with them
- I've had no pronouns in my email signature and no name tag at all for months
- we were having a conversation about a coworker who's recently come out as nonbinary and how the intern could just tell even beforehand
- earlier I'd made a point about how I've been a fan of the singular they when you didn't know a person's gender since elementary (true story, kid me was based)
- and, of course, they're nonbinary and should presumably know a thing or two about assumptions
Made it just very not good for me. I know it's not their fault and they almost certainly don't mean anything by it but still. I thought about it on the train ride home and then laid in bed and then did things to myself that would probably get this comment removed under the new rules.
I did call a friend which helped a little, she was quite supportive
It sounds like there are more than enough signals to at least not assume at this point :/ Unfortunately, trans people can be be clumsy and shitty about gender stuff too sometimes
Are they someone you would consider coming out to sooner to avoid this in the future?
Yeah I even have a note written saying "I'm not a guy btw" that I'm gonna try to pass to them today.
I hope that goes well!
It did! They were about as gracious as one can expect in the circumstances. Plus now they're just gonna use my name instead of any pronouns which is pretty much second best option (she/her will not be happening for a while)
My hardest fit is my knock off snuggie called "the comfy" 
it's a extra big hoodie basically and I love being in it when I go out
I never really was into writing a diary. I don't like that kind of schedule. I would always just forget at the end of the night and give up. But sometimes, like tonight, I write a few thousand words about how I'm doing. I think it really helps. I'm pretty optimistic right now, despite it all.
This a lot of fun but if you ever got a hold of my diary it be so out of order as I like skipping pages and going back to some empty ones. I feel the improv is good and I'll be honest some entries are just chicken jockey
I kept a jorunal as a kid because my grandma liked making them. Anyway I threw it out and burned it when I transitioned cause that shit was painful to read ๐ฌ
I have come to report that I have thrifted new sweaters and am feeling cute as FUCK today wearing one of them
Sweater gang 
They are simply the best clothing item to ever exist tbhtbh
Was having a good morning. A great morning. Probably the best I have felt in a little bit. Then I had something extremely stressful happen at work and now I'm stressing again. Won't know more until Monday afternoon so that's stressful too. Time to just stress tf out for the next little bit here. Maybe all weekend. god I need this fucking job too. It is my only reference ever. I don't think I will be fired but it is so incredibly important that I'm not. I would genuinely be so fucked. I am- despite my depression posting- trying to build my life. I don't think they will, I would be shocked, but it cannot happen. Holy fuck. Why are my fucking stress levels always so fucking high.
