this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 45 comments
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[–] Sebbe@lemmy.sebbem.se 197 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Dad has better opsec than Hegseth.

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.org 36 points 5 days ago

gotta keep the clients safe.

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 12 points 4 days ago

Where an 8 year old knows

[–] Klear@quokk.au 9 points 5 days ago

I'm taller than the Mariana Trench.

[–] Macchi_the_Slime@piefed.blahaj.zone 27 points 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

My wife basically did this to her racist grandpa one time. I think they were having dinner with friends and she goes "Gwampa, I have a question, is a 'Jive-Ass Jigaboo' the same thing as a 'Jungle Bunny'?"

It did not go over well with her grandpa's friends lmao.

Edit: My wife wanted me to add because I didn't mention it originally that she was 15 when she did this. So she was 100% aware of the live grenade she was lobbing into this conversation. I was also misremembering a little of the context these people weren't friends they were people related to her grandpa's labor union basically he was trying to impress and really laying it on thick. One of whom was a black man. Hence it being this particular live grenade.

[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 18 points 4 days ago (1 children)

There are many things I didn't understand about this. And that's okay.

Short version, Wife's granddad was an old racist. Old racist granddad made wife mad. Old racist granddad wanted to impress some people. Wife casually asked old racist granddad about some super old super racist terms he said to her in front of said people to embarrass him in front of them.

[–] thanatotus@lemmy.ml 6 points 4 days ago (3 children)

What's "Jive-ass Jigaboo"?

[–] Macchi_the_Slime@piefed.blahaj.zone 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

From what I can gather it's like a super old racist term for a black person. idk if I'd call it a full on slur, but definitely in that ballpark. But either way we're talking like 1920s old. Like this term was at least 75 when my wife did this to her grandfather in 2000.

[–] thanatotus@lemmy.ml 1 points 3 days ago

Good to know, I just remembered this scene from the movie Airplane now: it makes sense what the white lady says now, lol

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=g0j2dVuhr6s

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

“Jive” is an older term for what you might call less offensively call Ebonics or AAVE. Popular in the 80’s, I remember my mom talking about having a computer program that would “translate” things into jive (while also talking about doing black face for Halloween….)

“Jigaboo” is a slur for a black person.

[–] derfunkatron@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Yeah, jive isn’t the offensive part; the appropriation mixed with the racist slur is.

Jive is a set of slang or cant originating from NY jazz culture, specifically Harlem. Jive was a “cool” way of speaking; we owe the word hipster to jive (hep-cats became hepsters became hipsters).

Jive-ass is just an adjective meaning useless, worthless, or full of shit. A way less offensive variation is jive-ass turkey i.e. a bullshitter. Probably stems from jive speakers using jive to hustle or exclude outsiders from the conversation.

I think it would be safe to say that jive is a subset of AAVE, but not an equivalent term. AAVE is recognized as the official dialect but jive is specifically tied to music, region, and time period.

FWIW, I think the humor of the Airplane! jive scene is twofold: 1) it demonstrates how mainstream both jazz and jive had become by the 70s (to point that old white ladies got it) and, 2) the the implication that jive speakers couldn’t understand regular American English and were in need of translation.

[–] thanatotus@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 days ago

I remember the scene you referenced, and i recall that i hadn't understood the jive reference then and i just assumed that it was just funny gibberish.

[–] LordCrom@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

In the police academy movie, its what the white asshole called the black lady who ran over his foot... which made hightower fucking pissed at him and flipped the car he was hiding in.

So its probably a bad slur.

[–] watson@lemmy.world 83 points 5 days ago

"One is for work, the other is for my boyfriend"

[–] ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com 61 points 5 days ago (4 children)

I used to have 2 phones just because I liked having an iPhone and an Android phone. Nobody believed me when I told them that I was genuinely just a tech enthusiast.

[–] IWW4@lemmy.zip 36 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I have a work phone and a personal phone..

[–] Denjin@feddit.uk 56 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I have a work phone, a personal phone, one for my drug deals, one each for my 3 mistresses and a Nokia 3210 for playing Snake.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 20 points 5 days ago (2 children)

How much spanking do you need that it requires THREE mistresses???

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 15 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Hands and arms get tired, so it's always good to have options.

Then again, at that point you should just be poly and not lie to your partners. Much easier that way.

[–] jollyrogue@lemmy.ml 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Going to second then poly thing. Gotta save money where possibly in this economy.

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

100%

During the pandemic, I bought a house with my wife and girlfriend because it's somewhat cheaper to pay a mortgage and all utilities vs 2 rents and the utilities not covered by the building (plus dealing with bullshit landlords that fuck around with serious shit like bedbugs)

Must be with one of those medieval battering rams, hence the three operators.

[–] justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I use a spare phone for all the BS apps which you are bullied to get

[–] baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 5 days ago (3 children)

if you use a google pixel with grapheneos, you can have multiple profiles that work similar enough to having multiple phones, with apps in each profile only being able to see what's happening in that one profile, and if you close a profile every app in that profile is stopped completely

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I really want to put graphene on my 8, but I can't risk not having my banking apps...

[–] mybuttnolie@sopuli.xyz 4 points 4 days ago

if for some reason your bank apps require google play, you can have that in the other profile and they work just fine

[–] Zwiebel@feddit.org 4 points 5 days ago

You can even access two profiles at the same time by using a "private space"

I mean, I can just download multiple digital sim cards and tell the phone which one(s) to use. No need for a new profile

[–] IWW4@lemmy.zip 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I have thought about doing that. Do you use one for all your business apps?

[–] justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 day ago

Not business, just stuff I don't want to have installed on my phone. Like my mobile phone provider recently dumped their web based customer area, because most of their customers anyway use the app. So that app, which I need to top up money or change a contract is on a phone in a drawer at home. Don't need it with me.

[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 4 days ago

I have 3 phones (that I use) and in total 9 active phone numbers from 4 countries.

Just because I can.
5 of those are on removable eSIM in my main phone.

[–] hardcoreufo@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

After 15 years of android I cannot get used to my work iphone. Everything about it is wrong.

Using my ex's phone was like this. "I thought you were so good with technology". This fucking thing doesn't have a back button. Makes me think back to Apple's single button mouse.

[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 1 points 3 days ago

There was a guy I worked with years ago who did the same. He always had the best android and the best iPhone. He liked to be the go to guy when you wanted a new phone or something.

[–] Master@sh.itjust.works 15 points 4 days ago

I have two because I dont want anyone to have my dead wife's number yet...

[–] Semester3383@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

"It's a burner, kid. So that when cops arrest me at a protest they don't get shit from my phone."

[–] hardcoreufo@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

I got three different playa phones. One for each part-time shorty.

But I really have a work phone that they pay for because I am absolutely not putting any work shit on my phone. No teams, no outlook, no workday, no authenticators, no emergency alerts. I think a guy who got fired was using it as a playa phone or porn phone. My boss said his data use was always maxed out and everyone else used roughly 1-2 GB.

I only take it home on weekends on the rare case i want to check an email or request time off through workday. It does come in handy while camping/road tripping. I charge it up and turn it off then toss it in the glovebox as an emergency phone.

We used to have pagers as recently as 2022 which seems way more sketchy for the time but i miss them. Always worked, only got important notifications, smaller.

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 15 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] ODGreen@lemmy.ca 11 points 4 days ago

One for the load

[–] Mastengwe@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 days ago

This is WAY too specific…. 🤣

[–] Saapas@piefed.zip 9 points 5 days ago
[–] thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] Harvey656@lemmy.world 31 points 4 days ago (1 children)

The implication that the child is mad the dad spanked then, so they is going to out the father as a cheater at the family diner. The second phone is for the adultery.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 10 points 4 days ago

I used to wonder who my dad was talking to out in the garage on the landline he had our there. Seemed to always make his way out there when mom was working or running errands.

Hey dad, why do you have a word document hidden on the computer that lists things like "house" and "tools" with amount of money beside them?

Record scratch

Yep. That's me. My whole life is about to get turned upside down - I just don't know it yet...