Ask Lemmy

Sometimes…. Everything.

The ocean, the mountain looking over the ocean, the friendly and warm people, the legality of weed, my climbing friends, my other friends, my mom, the freedom that comes with owning a car and having a valid driver's license, the free availability of building materials for whatever hobby you may have, a medical system where you get to make decisions about your own health care and find doctors who actually give a fuck, the outdoor lifestyle, the non extortionate pricing of things.

Im sure I can find quite a lot more if I have it some thought.

Not a single thing. Small town America sucks.

I struggle to find anything. Maybe affordable housing, but that's a thing of the past. It changed a lot in 20 years and everything that I may have been missing at some point is long gone.

The people there proud themselves in being a rural region with a small town surrounded by close villages, but everyone knows everyone and if you don't fit socially with the others, mainly conservative, they will all bitch and talk about you in your back. Also, they take their cars to go literally anywhere. The next town is 7 km away, there's a dedicated bike path, and they whine that "everything is so far away in the countryside that you absolutely need a car". Yet, I moved in a metropolis where my work is 9 km away through dense urban landscape, and I can cycle there just fine.

I'm glad I left and I don't really miss any of it. I don't even like going back there. In fact, I prefer the services, and geographical features, of my new home.

Air quality. I moved from eastern Canada to southeast Asia. It's always hazy here by comparison. And you can see like half the stars. There has been a little improvement in recent years. Maybe China is getting its shit together.

I'm from NYC. I miss good public transportation, museums, and nightlife.

I grew up in the Okanagan, and moved to a rural coastal community.

I miss the seasons, coldy snowy winter's, asphalt melting summers.

I also miss the fruit and veggies, while I have blackberries here, I don't have the apples, peaches, strawberries, and endless veggies.

The food variety

I miss the night sky. Chicago has too much light pollution to see the stars.

I miss eating frybread.

I miss the arid climate, the open sky, and even the wild weather of South Dakota.

And I miss the tight-knit concert scene of Sioux Falls, where a core group of people went to every. single. show. no matter the genre or location or age because it was all we had. Years later touring bands who came up Chicago would still recognize me as "that headbanging guy" even after I cut my hair.

At the moment, I can't even think of anything I miss that would still be there in my home town. The place has changed so much that the only thing it shares with the town I grew up in is its name. So, in a contemporary sense, I'd have to say I don't miss much anymore.

If I could go back in time, I'd love to take another walk through the woods I used to play in when I was a kid. They're gone now, cut down for a factory that's no longer in business.

Also, I think it would be neat to go do my grocery shopping and run into my aunt and cousins or an old friend I haven't seen in awhile. It was a small town, so it was almost guaranteed if you were shopping in town, you'd run into people you know and like.

The Ocean

Honestly? Not much.

I grew up in the countryside, there was maybe like 50 kids in my entire school. Somehow I became the main bully victim. Later I spent a few summers at the grocery store which doubled as a cafe in the weekends, and honestly it showed me the adults weren't any better with their constant gossiping and rumour spreading.

I got out of there as fast as I could afford it. It took a few tries in different places both big and small, but I eventually landed on my feet in a small city.

Still close enough to nature that the countryside of me doesnt feel cramped. Found my crowd, made friends, and discovered passions I never knew I had. Life is pretty good right about now. Bought an apartment with my partner a few years ago. Now we're gonna be parents soon!

I've reestablished connection with my family too. We've talked it all through, and now I go home to visit and spend time with them once or twice a year, so I guess that's the answer to your question. Anyone else there I couldn't care less for.

The last time I went back to visit my parents, I just sat in the living room and listened to the quiet. They're on the outskirts of a small town, and there is zero traffic. The house stays at the right temperature with no fans or other mechanical help. The nearest neighbor is much further away than at my suburban house.

The familiarity. I knew where everything was. Businesses, places to go for leisure, outdoor activities, beach, skiing, whatever. I knew streets, neighborhoods, demographics, etc. Friends, the people I grew up with, where people lived… The very essence of what “roots” are.

I’ve moved so many times that I still don’t know 95% of the street names where I’ve lived for the last 5 years. I have to look online for businesses to see what is available and take a guess which one might work. Eating out someplace new is a risk, who knows if it’s any good.

That all said, leaving has presented far, far more opportunity and done better for me than staying in my hometown ever would have.

But I’m tired of moving. I need roots again. I miss that.

Language. The dialect from home.

Nothing. Small town country Australia wasn't a great place to grow up, and it's not a great place to go back to...

Im from tulsa. When i was 21 my brother died. I moved away 2 weeks after the funeral. I cant go back there. Too many memories 😪

I miss the layout of my neighbourhood from when I was 5-10 years old.

I lived in one of the middle units of a 10 unit townhouse. Each had a ~30'x30' fenced in backyard that opened up to a large field and playground. The u-shaped roads that flanked this field and the houses along them left a large cross shaped grassy alley on either side of the field.

I'm not sure that description does it justice, but this setup created a huge amount of grassy space for the surrounding neighbourhood kids to run around in, while keeping them somewhat contained. There were only 3 entrances/exits to this neighbourhood that were pretty well supervised by parents, so the kids were able to roam a pretty big area without anyone having to worry. Something I've come to appreciate more with age.

It also meant a TON of snow to build and play with in the winter, without playing in the road :D 🇨🇦

The quiet.

Went from living in a small rural town to an actual city. It's always loud af no matter what time of day or night.

Bagels (though now I make my own), fruit/veg, and Mexican food.

I moved to Germany from the USA and I now teach German to immigrants. The most universal experience for immigrants to Germany from warmer countries is the slow resignation not to even try peaches, corn, berries, or avocado (it’s reasonable based on geography, just still sad). I was astounded when my husband said he didn’t like peaches, but then I tried a German peach. They’re woody, flavorless, and expensive.

The place I grew up had three houses and was miles from the nearest shops.

Spent most of my childhood in the woods making dens and getting stoned.

I've ended up in Madrid, I miss the quiet. Like the no noise at all kinda quiet. On the other hand I don't miss the inconvenience of having to drive to go and get milk or a pack of skins or other mundane stuff.

Shops closing half day Wednesday and not open at all on the weekend - don't miss that either.

The dialects - miss those too

The memories, and not much else.

I think if you stay in a place your whole life, you don't really get how much it changes. Go away for a few years and come back, it's almost like a new place sometimes.

Every now and then I go on Google Maps, satellite view, and look at places I used to live. You see trash piled up everywhere. Cars everywhere. Three or four cars to a driveway in what used to be single family homes.

I know a lot of people who still live there. They haven't changed at all. Even as the trash piles up around them, they still think they're living in paradise. Especially now that weed's legal there. I think the government just said "fine, smoke a jay and delude yourself with our blessing." Shit should be legal everywhere, at least as long as more dangerous shit like cigarettes and alcohol are. I don't partake in any of it, I think it's all shit, but I think people should be free to do shit that harms no one. Maybe more limits on alcohol since drunk driving kills so many, and the problems caused by alcoholics... but I wouldn't push it.

Oh yeah, the weather's still pretty nice there. Temperate. But you couldn't pay me enough to live there now.

Being less than 10 miles from the beach no matter where in town I was. That said I have woods now and I like that just as much.

Edit: I do miss how many concerts were always happening. Guess I'll go play my banjo.

nothing. where i grew up was a hellhole of miserable people.

now i live in a major city and life is pretty great

Seems kind of silly...but the downtown started this tradition years back in coating the entire facade of the buildings in Christmas lights...not in a gaudy, cheesy way, but one single color per building. One shop would be blue and the shop next door would be red, etc. It started to become "known" in the area that this town would have the most lights ever in the downtown. They basically made a festival every year about it and more and more visitors seemed to come from out of town. And as time went on, more and more business neighboring the downtown started taking part. It looks amazing at night...every single building entirely lit up in a different color. I haven't seen it in years...I guess it'll be almost 10 at this point.

Honestly, not much.

I went from the west coast (Nevada) to the Chicago area. I miss a couple of friends, fast commutes, and good Mexican food. That’s about it. Chicago has so much more opportunity and access to a ton of things.

QuikTrip

Kansas City style BBQ

Cheez-Its

I live in Norway now and despite musing these things, wouldn’t trade them for my life now.

The aphids singing on summer nights. That chorus really doesn't exist in other parts of the world and it's even hard to explain to people!

Halloween. I grew up in the Boston area and absolutely loved the seasonal attractions.

The food and the people

The sunsets, and the smell after a rain.

Literally everything else can get fucked.