this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2025
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The original article was stub. Here's the beginning of the article right now.

Sen. John Fetterman was hospitalized in Pittsburgh after a fall during an early morning walk near his home in Braddock, his office said Thursday. A spokesperson said he suffered a ventricular fibrillation flare-up that left him light-headed before he fell and sustained minor facial injuries, and he is staying for observation while doctors adjust his medication.

The full statement from Sen. Fetterman’s spokesperson posted to X:

During an early morning walk, Senator Fetterman sustained a fall near his home in Braddock. Out of an abundance of caution, he was transported to a hospital in Pittsburgh. Upon evaluation, it was established he had a ventricular fibrillation flare-up that led to Senator Fetterman feeling light-headed, falling to the ground and hitting his face with minor injuries. Senator Fetterman had this to say: ‘If you thought my face looked bad before, wait until you see it now!’ He is doing well and receiving routine observation at the hospital. He has opted to stay so doctors can fine-tune his medication regimen. Senator Fetterman is grateful for the EMTs, doctors, and nurses who are providing his care.”

There's filler and then they quoted him whining.

Along with his health concerns, Speaking to CNN's Dana Bash on Wednesday, Fetterman said the left have wished for his death on the social media platform Bluesky while the right have called him names. Fetterman said his digital team had found that Bluesky was the "harshest" social media platform. "The difference is, the right would say rough things and some names I won't repeat on TV," he said, "but on the left, it was like they want me to die or that 'we're cheering for your next stroke.'"

He added that left-wing figures also share messages wishing he would die. "That's much different from just calling me a name," he said. "That's really been consistent in that community online."

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[–] Rom@hexbear.net 94 points 5 months ago (4 children)

"but on the left, it was like they want me to die or that 'we're cheering for your next stroke.'"

i mean he's not wrong

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 65 points 5 months ago (1 children)

it was like they want me to die

It wasn't "like".

[–] miz@hexbear.net 60 points 5 months ago

I want for John Fetterman what he wants for Palestinian children

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 56 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Technically the circle of candles and large pentagram I carved into my living room floor is not cheering for his stroke. I'm merely doing what I can as instructed by Leftist Divinations.

[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 18 points 5 months ago

Are you an etsy witch i have some requests

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[–] CthulhusIntern@hexbear.net 68 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (4 children)

The funniest thing that could happen is that this flips him again and he somehow goes full communist, and so anti-Zionist he calls for a congressional declaration of war against Israel.

[–] huf@hexbear.net 61 points 5 months ago (2 children)

yes, but realistically he'll come back only being able to say "bomb gaza" (like dexter in the omelette du fromage episode) and this propels him to the presidency.

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 41 points 5 months ago (2 children)

holden-bloodfeast with scrapple characteristics

[–] huf@hexbear.net 21 points 5 months ago

yeah, by the time he actually becomes president, he is afraid of clocks and absolutely refuses to draw any

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[–] towhee@hexbear.net 28 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Oddly enough the stroke turning him zionist is not a unique phenomenon. A friend who works at a local hospital reports the same thing happened to their department head. Used to be a well-liked extremely empathetic lady, had a stroke, boom turbo-zionist right as the Gaza genocide started kicking off in earnest. Not saying all zionism is due to brain damage but it certainly seems to help!

[–] UmbraVivi@hexbear.net 27 points 5 months ago

Only matt-jokerfied was too powerful, it only turned him into an amateur poet

[–] BobDole@hexbear.net 17 points 5 months ago

My friend’s dad had a stroke a while ago. He went from a kind, if weird old man to a total asshole who refuses to stop crashing his SUV into parked cars.

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[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 53 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Sources say a cartoon bird painted his tennis court to look like a swimming pool and he dove in headfirst

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 25 points 5 months ago

Wile E. Ogre

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 51 points 5 months ago

Fuckin' die already

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 48 points 5 months ago

Given the record, I assume he drove himself to the hospital while terrified staffers screamed from the back seat as he faded in and out of consciousness.

[–] SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net 47 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

He added that left-wing figures also share messages wishing he would die. "That's much different from just calling me a name," he said. "That's really been consistent in that community online."

I'm getting a lot of use out of this reaction image lately.

[–] miz@hexbear.net 24 points 5 months ago

I can hear his signature opening music sting

[–] hamid@crazypeople.online 44 points 5 months ago (1 children)

How convenient he gets to go to a hospital and have it paid for by me when he just voted against maintaining the pittance that was medicaid and medicare. Piece of shit ghoul fucker.

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[–] plinky@hexbear.net 36 points 5 months ago

critical support to settlerman cardiovascular system

[–] lurker_supreme@hexbear.net 34 points 5 months ago

A second heart attack ray has hit israel's large, adult son second-plane

[–] radio_free_asgarthr@hexbear.net 33 points 5 months ago

This ogre shouldn't just fall over and die. A monster like this should be cornered by townsfolk with torches and pitchforks. Or slain by an itinerant knight. Or killed by a precocious child that found him through magic beans.

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 31 points 5 months ago

John Deaderman

timmy-pray

[–] Clippy@hexbear.net 29 points 5 months ago (1 children)

i have only read the headline and refuse to read anything else..

PREPARE THE CRABS

hexcrab-party

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 30 points 5 months ago

"John Fetterman could die soon," says rando expert on the net, InevitableSwing

Mr. InevitableSwing also said "As others have indicated - we got the crabs ready to go." At the current time it is unknown what that means because Mr. InevitableSwing merely replied "You got to dig it to dig it, ya dig?"

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 26 points 5 months ago

I just hope for him what he hopes for Gazans.

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 26 points 5 months ago

Gravity is Hamas

[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 25 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Fetterman said his digital team had found that Bluesky was the "harshest" social media platform

we gotta post harder, the libs are owning us

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 21 points 5 months ago (1 children)

they just don't know about us, they'd be horrified lmao

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[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 15 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

It's not actually that bad. He's just a great big whiner. In a thread I said wished him the shortest hospital stay possible. The libs ignored it. Or maybe they didn't exactly ignore it. Maybe I got a block or a mute or two.

Edit. I got a like. Haha.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 24 points 5 months ago

the good news about fetterman is that he's a wonderful person and has never alienated any of his friends or family that would normally help him during this trying time

[–] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 24 points 5 months ago
[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 22 points 5 months ago

If you don't want to be demonised, don't do demonic things. Comrade Stroke take my energy.

[–] Homer_Simpson@hexbear.net 22 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 17 points 5 months ago

More like Having a stroke Syndrome, am i right? hahaha

[–] LENINSGHOSTFACEKILLA@hexbear.net 21 points 5 months ago

lmao, yes i am literally cheering for his next stroke.

[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 21 points 5 months ago
[–] Hohsia@hexbear.net 19 points 5 months ago

Shout out to the person who hired a witch off Etsy for this to happen 🙏🙏

farquaad-point

:nelson-haha:

[–] Cysioland@lemmygrad.ml 19 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Why don't you just die already?

Walter Hartwell White Jr.

[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 17 points 5 months ago

It's going to be consistent until you fucking die you ogre

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 16 points 5 months ago

Somebody should make IsFettermanDeadYet.com

[–] miz@hexbear.net 16 points 5 months ago
[–] TheGamingLuddite@hexbear.net 16 points 5 months ago

DIE BRU DIE

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 15 points 5 months ago
[–] jack@hexbear.net 15 points 5 months ago
[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] rufuscrispo@hexbear.net 14 points 5 months ago

"That's much different from just calling me a name,"

tbf, corpse is a name too

[–] 9to5@hexbear.net 14 points 5 months ago

Skill Issue

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