Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
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π³οΈββ§οΈ Transmasculine Pride Ring π³οΈββ§οΈ
Originally, I was going to make one about "strange" music, but then I realized I can do whatever I want so I'm just going to plug some music I like or find funny. Unfortunately, I'm still a normie ahh scrub who gets all my music from youtube. Though, as a good girl, I'm going to use alternative front-ends to protect your privacy.
I might keep adding more stuff through the week.
Jim E. Brown
The "19-year old alcoholic" from Britain is renowned for his smash hits like I'm quitting prozac to continue drinking and I FIND SEX ABHORENT.
Carlos Ivan
Self proclaimed bard who occasionally does unhinged ASMR. Examples of his work would be his song Slutty Pumpkin or his ASMR Hostage flirts with you during bank robbery (Good lord he has such a sexy voice in that one).
Opeth
Listening to this Band is the closest thing I have to being a "metal fan". All I really know about them is that some of their fans are salty because they stopped being metal like many years ago. Idk about the drama though. Their Blackwater park seems to be the one that fans think is their masterpiece (???). But I like stuff such as Face of Melinda, Harlequin Forest and April Ethereal.
Microtonal Music
They make microtonal and macrotonal music. Such music is characterized by the use of a tonal scale different from the European 12 tones. Long story short, the frequency spectrum can be divided into octaves. By definition, an octave is a factor of 2 difference (so 100 hz is 1 octave below 200 hz). In the European scale, each octave of sound is divided into 12 tones. But you can use more, or less. The most extreme examples I've seen are Fuschiamarine which uses only 7 tone divisions to Desert Island Rain which has 313 divisions! Other stuff from them is Who knows and Zero Nothings, the latter of which is polyrhythmic ((meaning it has multiple rhythms at once) and microtonal (22 tones), thereby causing professional musicians pain and suffering.
There's more musicians out there that do microtonal music (and also the entirety of Africa, Middle East, India, etc).
Maybe I'll put some stuff in the coming days.
Classical Latin covers of Modern songs
Yes, this is a thing. It doesn't need to exist but I'm glad it does. My favs are the cover of Gas Gas Gas and Everyone wants to rule the world. The channel is called the_miracle_aligner and they do other languages as well.
Mushroom plays keyboard
Mushrooms plays keyboard. Pretty baller, don't you think?
I wonder what it's thinking about
spoiler Post-rock
You can tell I'm getting eepy cause I won't even explain what post-rock is. Here's a playlist someone else made. Sorry for my laziness.
:::
Miku covers
We all know what Hatsune Miku is. Funny story, at one point I purchased a miku poster and my Mom really liked it for some reason. It's hanging in her bedroom thousands of kilometers away from my house right now.
Anyway, I like the miku covers of After Dark and Little Dark age. They're both made by astrophysics
Manbo-p
Japanese Songwriter that uses vocaloids for singing. Their songs are always centered around some absurd story and video, but usually contain some sort of interesting message in there. They have so many songs that I like that I'm just going to make a big list. The song titles should give you an idea of the insanity. Be sure to turn on english subtitles!
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As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
spoiler
HELLO THIS IS THE MEGA SIGN UP POST/LIST POST
if you have a preferred week please tell me
peanutbuttercupola* (10/13 - 10/19)
oscardejarjayes* (10/20 - 10/26)
Wmill (10/27 - 11/2)
Shaleesh* (11/3 - 11/9)
Alisu (11/10 - 11/16)
Disaster_of_Passion* (11/17 - 11/23)
GayTuckerCarlson* (11/24 - 11/30)
Eco* (12/1 - 12/7)
peanutbuttercupola* (12/29 - 1/4)
β * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters
::: spoiler reference to SI, mental health
listening to the music i used to listen to like 3, 4, 5, years ago... at first it was fun. but now i just feel sad and empty and depressed and like "yeah you know what the earth is really alluring". fuck i used to be so depressed. it changed so slowly, i dont even remember it changing. its kinda a shock. the songs hit hard. they remind me of all the painful things. all the empty things. the nothingness that was my existence.
Im gonna get a steel mace to work out with, not because I believe in it and not because I dont already have a kettlebell but because I love the idea of using a medieval weapon to work out with
I have resigned myself to never understanding thread safety
spoiler
So I recently came out to this woman at work right, super supportive. I've been wanting to talk with her about being trans and stuff but haven't known what to say. She doesn't come around super often but I got a few minutes with her earlier this week and I explained this to her. She said to just message her whatever random thing to start the conversation. Tried writing something and she just responds with something short that doesn't really go anywhere
I just want to talk to people, and have it work, and it just doesn't. idk how to talk to people. build relationships.
I am so sad right now
spoiler
imagine going through the rest of my life dealing with all of this fucking shit
spoiler
You WILL find your little tribe and group, and it'll rock
spoiler
The problem isn't finding people. This person at work for example, she's great and everything. The problem is me, not knowing how to talk about what I want to talk about, not knowing how to start conversations, form relationships. Plus all the trans shit I've whined about for a year and half.
Idon't need more people. i need to know how to connect with them and have a fulfilling relationship. fuck me
Also make sure you have everything you need for week 2 of your shot
I do, I have almost exactly 1 year of stuff
spoiler
Being trans and being autistic are two of the biggest causes of pain in my life and I really don't know how I'm supposed to cope with it. Fucking ridiculous.
Ohh Opeth is one of my fav bands. Blackwater Park and Ghost Reveries are equally peak for me. Watershed was good, but then Heritage onward (until their newest album The Last Will and Testament) are... I didn't think they were bad but none of them really stuck with me. It's sad since I though Damnation was a great album but I feel like they couldn't surpass or even match that.
You might like piah mater who is very clearly and heavily inspired by Opeth.
eating/weight
My eating habits have been trash lately. Get up, work all day, don't eat anything until like 6:30 or later. AND I'VE STILL GAINED FUCKING WEIGHT
tf am I hungry and not eating all day and still getting fatter maybe its water weight bc I do drink a shit ton of water at work but that seems like cope.
like I was just hoping to get rid of my tummy fat and getting it back on my hips/thighs 
Hey just so yβall know it appears that open gate is actually closed gate until the 20th.
I luv music NIN - Discipline
Reznor did most of the original soundtrack for Lost Highway which I loovee, some other ppl added to the soundtrack too. They also did the Quake soundtrack.
~~For a few months I was listening to this fan made compilation album which combined a few of their newer albums around the twin peaks return era and bad witch, but it has since been removed π yt always takes down all the cool fan stuff.~~
Nevermind I found it lol
I found YouTube links in your comment. Here are links to the same videos on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
Link 1:
Link 2:
Link 3:
CW for Transphobia/Social integration
I find it really sad how I had genuine passion for physics and wanting to contribute towards developing sustainable energy, but because transitioning is locked behind a paywall it made studying unbearable due to the dysphoria and I ended up quitting. I don't even see the point of reaching out to any reachable communities because I'm sure everyone is struggling it'd just drag them down. I don't want to take valuable resources away from people when I don't have anything myself to contribute.
At least I get to distract myself with doing art while I listen to best korea pop. So it's not entirely all bad.
My mother talking about my great-uncle (who everyone had assumed was gay but actually was bisexual and had something gender going on): so yeah he was a drama teacher and would dress as a woman in every play they performed, my dad, your grandfather would affectionately says he was a [t-slur]
Me: wait why is this the first I'm hearing about this?
Her: anyway I have a bunch of his vinyl records from the 50s
Me: GIVE THEM TO ME
I think a some people in our family assume something is up with our great-uncle. Mostly because he's a bit more effeminate in a way similar to lots of gay men, so people suspect he's gay/bi. But nothing confirmed.
CW I guess societal transphobia
I feel kind of fucked up by this, like there's an alternative timeline where things were a bit more progressive in the latter half 20th century and my great aunt could have lived openly as a trans woman (or non-binary) and I having known her all my life got to see her as a normal role model and transitioned in my teens/20s while she was still alive.
::: spoiler spoiler
this whole story is tragic and beautiful. We all need more trans role models. And idk but for me being able to recontextualize one of my family members as trans would be a blessing; im so glad you finally got to learn about this aspect of her existence!
Side note, how were the records?
spoiler
Yeah it's kind of bittersweet the whole thing. My mum literally told me this a few hours ago I haven't seen them yet. I'm curious if there's any insights there to my aunt.
I would
The marxist analysis of this meme:
The atomised proletariat class increasingly lack the means to reproduce themselves as their past generations did. This has lead to the yearning amongst its more marginal members for a convenient, low cost and standardised method of finding partners.
The above meme uses the symbolism of computers and piracy to convey this yearning, while sodium replying with "I would" conveys her agreement with this yearning, knowing full well deep down that all hope is lost and she will die alone 
My dream job was and still is Saturday Morning Cartoon Villain
You have a dope costume, you get to be hilarious, you get a subby sidekick, there's no expectation or pressure that you ever actually succeed, and your evil plans can be as low stakes as ruining a local pond or destroying the biosphere. Total blue sky. Plus if you stick around long enough you get to team up with the heroes to take down some super duper evil villain if you ever get bored of the evil schtick.
would be so great, you'd get to beat up cops and seduce the heroes in your civilian form only to pull the rug out from beneath them, oh the delicious drama 
Hero: Was it all lies?
Villain: Yes lmao i would never fuck a cop
do supervillains have alter-egos? me n da mates were having this serious discussion last night and thought about it, we concluded supervillainy is way more freeing than heroism. heroes have to have a paying job, villains just need to dream big.
i mean if you wanna woo the heroes you gotta atleast go outside to the coffee shop once in a while 
iβve transcended gender 
A lot of my medical shit says "sex: unknown" lol
absolute fucking goals tbh
:waow-based:
::: spoiler meds update
Ok i dont like when the meds leave my system. It isnt bad, but i can feel myself get more energetic and exhausted all at once, my thoughts become more chaotic and disjointed, my ability to manage things goes back to normal, and my emotional responses get more anxiety oriented and like the anxiety gets turned up a bit.
many such cases
Hi. I've not really engaged with the trans community on here yet.
CW: Imposter syndrome and current-event fears
I am not really "out" in my everyday life, so I feel like I don't have a lot of experiences in common with people here. I guess my fear of coming out is itself an oppression, but I haven't been beaten by cops or discriminated against in a hospital. And with the government trying to make trans folks into terrorists, I'm more and more just wanting to stay in my little closet... Am I a bad trans? I guess I'm just a bad revolutionary; I'm scared of what could happen, even if the risk to me is relatively little.
spoiler
I was there a month or two ago. The safety of the closet is tempting, but I eventually realized the stress that would leave on me if I was still closeted 5-10 years from now, so I ripped the bandaid off. Iβm also not out publicly fwiw, Iβve told two people total and I donβt dress femme. Nevertheless itβs given me peace of mind that you might find if you end up coming out to a partner or close trusted friend
spoiler
Yeah, I'm out to a few friends, and my mom knows but just pretends like she doesn't. I have a therapist and psych med-provider who knows, but yeah. I'm looking into attending one of those queer affirming churches in town (I think we have two, so I'm drowning in options (unironically so compared to some areas)) and that might be helpful. For now, though, the closet shall help me stay out of USian concentration camps... hopefully.
spoiler
Take things step by step, that's a basic tenet of dialectics. You cannot become a good revolutionary if you are unable to take care of your personal safety. So don't beat yourself up for still being in the closet.
spoiler
I'm only out to family and maybe a couple friends? And I guess the creepy delivery guy who clocked me as trans. I've been here for years at this point and have been on HRT for 1.5 years. Doesn't seem worth the tradeoff for me for now given where I live and my work.
Being trans doesn't mean you have to be some revolutionary. You can just want to live your life like most people.
spoiler
You can post here if you want~ youre still trans, come hang out on the trans mega
Youre the only one who can guage what is safe and isnt for you. I will only say that you will probably be happier if you were out and taking whatever other steps you want (plenty of trans women do not take hormones and plenty dont want to have any surgeries, its not a requirement to be trans to do either). But I cant say if thats worth your sense of safety, youre the only one who can make that judgement call. I know for me, the euphoria of being called a woman, having people use my name, and having people say ma'am or use she/her with me was worth the risks - and I couldnt bear to boymode anymore anyway.
Oppression and being sad and dysphoria aren't the inherent conditions of being transgender - I really believe this. Yes theyre part of our experience because society sucks. The real inherent condition of being trans is euphoria and joy, like true deep joy. Every day I get to wake up and be a woman! Its still, despite everything, a great feeling and it still hasn't been dulled. You are part of this joy and euphoria as far as you want to take it
π³οΈββ§οΈπππ€πππ³οΈββ§οΈ
spoiler
I'm out to a few safe people and that's it, not family and not work. Definitely is! I'm not coming out to family and work until I have to or it gets closer.
No you aren't staying safe in the closet is perfectly acceptable, if that's what you want.
::: spoiler spoiler
You are absolutely not a bad trans! 
Fear of coming out is so real, and like, it took me years to do so. Not having experiences in common isnt a reason to not participate here, id think its more of a reason to participate here ^join^ ^us^. This mega is for trans people to talk about basically whatever we want, not just trans specific stuff!
I guess I could just share this to /c/music but this 17 minute instrumental from 1988, laden with synths, samples, and bass guitars, was actually the thing that first got me into music from the late USSR way back when β which helped me reevaluate my attitudes towards the country and coooommunism in general. So I probably would've become a commie way later without this track, and it is still to this day so fucking sexy to me that I need you all to listen to it.
Mugi and Mio approved cxu ne @AernaLingus@hexbear.net
i think i might just have found a place i would be a shoe in for if i went and got a job there that would get my t girl surgeries covered
it's a bit of a stretch but i might be able to get my surgeries covered after all 
