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this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost
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Not even buying Apple will net you any short term money.
Better to bet on the superbowl (or whatever sports knowledge you possess).
It's not about money, it's about altering reality.
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I'd go to the mall to flirt with goth latina babes. Malls were actually popular back then right?
Turn the TV on.
Plug in the coax cable and forget the terminator.
Gather as much money as possible and bet on the Chicago bulls to win 3 championships in a row.
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Press the snooze button and go back to sleep.
Have tons of crazy sex, do piles of drugs, camp, see live music, dance, sex, drugs, repeat.
Same as now really
Find a job doing almost anything and being able to afford all of this is the best time traveling gift.
Also get a little house on that salary, oh if only.
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Turn off the alarm clock
Drink a glass of chocolate milk, fool around until school time, which began in the afternoon
There were cell phones in 1995. Though vastly different from today still widely used.
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“ffffuuuckk now I can’t get easy pron!!!!!!”
Since I am an absolute idiot who doesn't know what happened back then in order to rake in money off of things like betting ( either legal or illegally ), probably just ( assuming I have 'em ) listen to CDs on my CD player and hop on computer and hope I have any good games.
Watch the infomercials until something remotely interesting starts.
See DJ Heather and silicon soul live.
I'd probably shit the diaper and watch my parents fight
Listen to my mixtape, duh.
1995 I would just be getting home from night shift.
Go back to sleep!
Pack the bowl and fire it up.
TV was shit, but online porn already existed. Only thing you'd be missing is doom scrolling memes and shit YouTube videos.
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As a guitarist: get the biggest headstart possible learning music
Have a long and frustrating wank to Cosmopolitan because I'm a teenager and haven't figured out I can just walk into a newsagent and buy a copy of Penthouse.
Open tv’s teletext page 245 (now 235) to see latest NHL results from last night.
Go see Jeff Buckley and tell him to stay away from the Mississippi River.