this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 150 points 1 week ago (7 children)

I'm not sure whether I want this to be read by GLADOS or Cave Johnson. Both would deliver the hell out of these lines.

[–] BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 67 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It was Cave Johnson for me.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 34 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I just read it twice, with both, in my head.

Cave Johnson was funnier.

[–] alquicksilver@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago

I read it as GLaDOS first and got a little smile, then went back and reread it as Cave Johnson and laughed.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 1 week ago

For Cave, the signoff would be:

I'm Cave Johnson, don't @ me.

[–] Iron_Lynx@lemmy.world 30 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Initially I thought Cave Johnson, but the enumeration in the first paragraph seems more of a GLaDOS thing. The rest could go either way. If on the other hand, the enumeration was phrased without "the following regions:", it would be more Cave Johnson.

[–] cfi@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The enumerations would work if he's reading it as a press release, probably uncomfortably, and with a few asides to an off-screen character about how he doesn't like it

[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

With irritated paper-shuffling noises.

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[–] lime@feddit.nu 17 points 1 week ago

emergency testing initiative voice from the start of P2, just for the maximum level of unpersonness

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

JK Simmons would do this press release proud.

I think specifically Portal 1 GLADOS.

[–] WhyJiffie@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I prefer the robotic announcer with the fake uplifting, soulless tone.

I'm a little surprised nobody thinks of that

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[–] Tonuka@feddit.org 111 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Corporations supporting pride are canaries in the coalmine. When they stop chirping, you know something is wrong.

Besides, I don't like cynicism. Yeah, most big corps don't give a fuck. And this is what this meme is about. But regular gays work everywhere, and support does make a difference in those places

Absolutely - rainbow capitalism can be a problem, and actively attacking that rainbow capitalism from a place of bigotry-in-power can be a far bigger problem. Visibility and representation matter.

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Exactly. I fucking hate rainbow capitalism, but it's disturbing to see how in the last few years I've seen less and less rainbow logos and flags.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Exactly. I fucking hate rainbow capitalism, but it’s disturbing to see how in the last few years I’ve seen less and less rainbow logos and flags.

Well, if the homophobes hate it, and the LGBT people constantly post "I SEE THROUGH YOUR BULLSHIT" why should they bother anymore?

[–] Worx@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

When LGBT people say, "I SEE THROUGH YOUR BULLSHIT", we're not saying please do even less. We're saying, "please back up your superficial displays with real, meaningful support". Do more, not less!

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[–] dumbass@leminal.space 62 points 1 week ago

Can hear Cave Johnson saying that, it's missing an off script line after "your favourite colour of gay"

Cave Johnson standing away from the mic: what do you mean the colour gay? Gays not a colour! It's a rainbow, it's all the colours! Who wrote this script? I want them fired, fire them now!

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 54 points 1 week ago (1 children)

“And then, there will be cake.”

[–] OldSageRick@lemm.ee 63 points 1 week ago (3 children)
[–] lath@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago

There was cake, just not for you.

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Lol, this dude didn't find the cake, everyone point and laugh at them!

[–] OldSageRick@lemm.ee 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I prefer to habe cake outside an industrial crematorium

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Your loss, it was a pretty damn good piece of cake.

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[–] SuperZorro@discuss.tchncs.de 44 points 1 week ago

*parts of North America

[–] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago

Most accurate depiction of corpo pride month attitude.

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Some conservative is gonna see this and start a "Boycot Aperture Science" campaign.

We've both said a lot of things that you're going to regret.

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[–] CatDogL0ver@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

No one plays Portal here? No gamers?

[–] technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'm more of a Black Mesa guy.

[–] CatDogL0ver@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

Got it on sale!

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[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Same thing happens at Christmas.

[–] Kickforce@lemmy.wtf 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Much more pronounced too. It goes way beyond a few posters and flags. Xmas songs, trees,food etc. It's on everything all over the place. Pride needs to really up its game to get up to Xmas level.

[–] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The Safeway here puts up Xmas decorations in September, so does math we’re going to have to start in February…

[–] Kickforce@lemmy.wtf 3 points 1 week ago

And keep it up till halfway the summer when you switch out for Halloween....

You might get accused of waging a war on Easter though. I suggest joining forces with the Easter Bunny, hares that lay eggs are queer as can be.

[–] brejela@lemm.ee 8 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Ok but is that voice GLADOS or Cave Johnson?

[–] WhyJiffie@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 week ago

in my head it was the other robotic voice. I think it was used in both portal 1 and 2

Definitely Cave Johnson. The tone is disregarding and corporate, GLaDOS would have been insulting and condescending.

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[–] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

I saw this or something similar a few years ago.

It's outdated today. Aperture is a defense contractor that wouldn't risk upsetting trump.

[–] RedFrank24@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Yeah and now that certain companies run the risk of getting flattened into the ground by Trump, only those companies that actually gave a shit continue to support Pride.

[–] Schadrach@lemmy.sdf.org 15 points 1 week ago

only those companies that actually gave a shit continue to support Pride.

By which you mean only those companies that believe appearing to give a shit will be more profitable than sucking Trump's dick continue to support Pride.

[–] CatDogL0ver@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Isn't that's company in Portal (video game)?

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[–] Nangijala@feddit.dk 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Are you telling me that there are companies out there that actually care about the LGBT for real?

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[–] Plesiohedron@lemmy.cafe 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

I'll do my own pandering thank you. With a collection of clear virtue signals, a rigorous purity filter and a crew of fanatical moderators.

[–] CatDogL0ver@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

You never play Portal?

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[–] glorkon@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

He didn't say "Chariots!", so we know it was a Cave Johnson from an alternate universe.

[–] toastmeister@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Is it just people having unrealistic expectations of what a corporation can do?

How can such an entity have empathy, its like expecting a computer algorithm to have empathy. Pure fewelishness.

I will be so happy for you guys once this gains widespread acceptance

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