this post was submitted on 26 May 2025
201 points (85.8% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

31872 readers
4422 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] mcmodknower@programming.dev 5 points 1 week ago

Only 9, the rest are useless/bad for me. 1 and 2 are nearly the same, and not a thing i have a problem with. 3 idk what the benifit of it should be. 4 i am tall enough. 5 would be nice sometimes, but at other times it would only cause you to break things. 6 it would be bad to not be able to cry in bad situations, as these are also part of life. 7 i don't need publicity 8 i don't have an ex 9 you can do a lot with money in this world

[–] HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago (6 children)

2, 6 and 9.

9 would go towards building affordable housing in my area, which would make 6 happen.

2 just 'cause.

[–] Atomic@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago (12 children)

#2 is straight up torture. No matter how much you eat, you cannot stop losing weight. Your body no longer retains nutrients as it passes right through you

load more comments (12 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Isn’t 8 that Jim Carrey movie?

[–] JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

[–] AfroMustache@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Mfw when I watched it with my ex lmao

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

2, 6, 9. Health, happiness, comfortable life.

[–] bizarroland@fedia.io 4 points 1 week ago

I'd pick 459 if I could put the 5cm on my ding dong.

[–] zxqwas@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago
  1. As long as i can stop smiling at funerals. I'm not unhappy but more is better.

Then 4. 5. Or 9. Are my options.

I'll probably take 9. I have enough money today but I've been disciplined with my spending my entire life. It's just something that I can stop thinking about.

  1. Or 5. Would just be vanity, but if I'm happy I don't really see the problem. Maybe 2. So I don't have to think about that either.
[–] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago
[–] biggerbogboy@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Alloi@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

if i chose six, i wouldnt need any of the others.

[–] TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 week ago
  1. is just MDMA
[–] isekaihero@ani.social 3 points 1 week ago

2, 5, 9

I would be so happy.

[–] TheDoozer@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

2 (as long as that means I can't go past my current weight, not that every time I poop, sweat, or pee I lose weight I can never regain) 5... and I guess 9. I'm doing okay, and I've never had a strong need for "a lot of money."

5 isn't even because I want to have super strength, it's more to be able to compensate for my jacked up joints and being overweight.

I would trade any of the three of these for "cure my sleep apnea" though.

1 sounds tempting, as long as it's just the insulation, you know? I don't know a whole lot about biology, but I feel like if you immediately removed all fats from your body, your cells would just die (all the lipids disappearing). But if you could remove all the fat listed in the "body fat percentage" and made it so I could still get some fats quickly (for a healthy amount), I'd take that over 2. Once it's there, it makes it so hard to get rid of, but I feel like if it was gone in one go, I could keep it off.

Wow, my decisions for "magic pills" would be kind of depressing to 20-year-old me. At least with the exception of my health I'm reasonably content.

[–] ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 week ago

5,6,9 only ones that really make a big difference in the grand scheme of things.

Being super strong would mean you’d likely end up doing a lot of physical activity for yourself and others, but it would also mean that your resting metabolism is significantly higher than baseline which handily takes care of the fat/weight problem.

Being taller would be fine I guess but, and I say this as a woman in the bottom 25% in height, it wouldn’t actually make any substantial difference in life, beyond being able to touch the floor in a standard chair.

Having a lot of money takes care of shopping without stopping it, As well as the followers thing (rich people are often famous, and if not they can dump some money into something to make them famous if they want) and I feel being happy over-rides forgetting your ex, cuz you wouldn’t feel bad about it.

[–] chunes@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

5, 6, 9. Come on now.

[–] ThatGuy46475@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

All you need is 6, the rest are just things you hope will make you happy.

[–] MuskyMelon@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago
[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

No more fat? Like, for me or for the entire world? Because that’s terrifying either way. I’d die within minutes in either case.

[–] Caitlyynn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 week ago

None please

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Hit me with the 159, chef.

5, 7 and 9 so I can start a revolution. I've made my peace with the fact that most people follow, live and die for people, not ideals and values (only the leaders do, and when they don't it all collapses), might as well play my role with my new superpowers, lol.

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

5,6,9. Already have 1,2

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 points 1 week ago

With 5, 7 and 9 I could start a cult.

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›