The sincere posting zone, earlier this week I saw a doctor about starting informed consent HRT. I figure if I don't like it I'll stop. If I like it sooner is better than later.

As an omen as I was driving I got stuck behind this Ute covered in bumper stickers and chalk writing, talking about covid19, government tyranny and globalism, etc. To crown it all it had a Eureka Stockade flag mounted and flying. But on the rear bumper in pastel blue chalk in the fruitiest handwriting it simply said "Stop feminising our men”. And I felt well shit if that wasn't a sign from the universe to do the opposite as what this driver wanted.

The consult went fine and I'm catching up at the end of the month to finalize consent check baseline bloods etc. They were very nice. But also doctors don't really understand when you say "If I end up not liking breasts I can have a breast reduction and get some cool as fuck scars".

I read Silence, I liked it, it was interesting. I came away wondering about self-sacrifice. Martyrdom is a constant theme (they're dealing with pretty intense suppression of Japanese Christianity in the 1600s), it's something we see people go through and Roderigues own thoughts evolve on.

It's never easy when your fate is held in someone elses hands but I do wonder if it's easier to die for your beliefs or to live for them.

It made me think if there's some critical moment in my life, some disaster, there are things I'd be willing to die for. But choosing self sacrifice and having to live with it, for years and decades, that might be harder.

Sleep escapes me tonight, so instead of trying to go back to sleep, I'm going to post and/or browse the internet until I pass out. Yay.

I'm going to be so damned eepy tomorrow.

Yo I am flipping through Bo Burnham's book of poems and this MF is an egg.

It's kind of funny that there's really only three ways to retire your account on Hexbear.

Touch grass (Ulysses Tuggy, Gayhobbes etc), lose your mind and go reactionary on a weird issue (Sevendeadlyfetishes and a whole bunch of others I've 'd from my memory) and trans your gender and make a new account (@EstraDoll@hexbear.net.)

As someone whose been here from the start, sure I've got a few prehistoric monotremes up my sleeves for alts, but 3 is probably on the cards in a month or two.

iZombie was a really great show that basically disappeared from public consciousness the minute it finished.

Sick and fucking feeling like absolute dog shit and in too much pain to really sleep and am so exhausted

so far the most noticeable mental/emotional effect of HRT is that I'll gladly watch a review of musical instruments I like to hear but have no interest in playing (namely bass guitar and trumpet)

I hurt my lower back violently thrusting my pelvis to the dubstep remix of Sweet Caroline

boymoding? No, tomboy moding!

And what was my crime, drooling over a twink? A succulent twink?

I think I want to get a collar for myself now... I don't know how to feel about this revalation...

I got new glasses and they're cute as hell