Run for your local HOA to dismantle and disband it if you have one. Make it your platform and every person who's ever gotten a petty ticket from a nosy nobody will vote for you.

Yes, but let us take a moment to appreciate the journalist's fine end line:

leaving the wayward youths to continue their street war against scurvy.

Losers whose entire identity is defined by the tiny amount of power they have.

street war against scurvy

I can just hear the guy laughing his ass off while writing this story about the most petty individuals on the face of the fucking planet.

Honestly, if some dick cheese were harassing my kids about their lemonade stand, they would be unwittingly be subscribing to a life time supply of a burning paper bag full of dog shit on their doorstep.

AHOAAB

They should have arrested the adults for harassing the children - could be considered assault under the right conditions.

This is the least psycho cop I've ever read about.

My aunt lives in an HOA that was formed because the city wanted to cut down a big forested area to make a cookie-cutter neighborhood. The forest protected a watershed and was home to many native animals.

So the few people who lived there formed an HOA to gain all rights to the area; sold a few more properties to developers with strict rules so the houses built didn’t impact the wildlife or water, and set a large chunk aside as a ‘community park’ that really is a forest with a few walking trails and a nice pond.

The HOA fees mostly go towards maintaining the forest; planting natives, paying top-grade arborists to care for the trees, setting up bird boxes, stuff like that.

That being said, I’m well aware that hers is an outlier, and most HOAs are just excuses for bratty busybodies to harass their neighbors.

I have. I've lived in HOAs where utilities, gardening/lawn care, parking lot upkeep, trash/recycling, community center, were taken care of by the HOA.

You only hear about bad HOAs because people in those HOAs only care about property values from aesthetics. In reality, a good HOA is like a properly run union - taking care of its members by providing cheaper, common services via collective bargaining.

I currently live in an HOA townhome neighborhood, and I'll be the first to say that I'd abolish it if I could

That said, mine isn't too bad.

They have some nitpicky bullshit, doors have to be painted a certain color, trash cans have to be out of sight from the front of your house, we can't have hot tubs, fire pits, or tiki torches, etc.

But they do handle the lawn mowing, snow removal, trash service, have a playground in the neighborhood, and do the roofing and siding for the homes every X years (I forget exactly how often off the top of my head.) and they require you to get your fire place inspected every year if you're going to use it, which I appreciate since I'm connected to my neighbors houses.

Now as far as I'm concerned, my lawn is the size of a postage stamp, I could practically mow it with a weed wacker (which I own because the landscapers do a shitty job around my deck) and I'm perfectly happy to shovel out the 2 parking spaces in front of my house and my like 20ft of sidewalks and front walkway. I also think trash pickup should be on the city government paid for by my taxes, but alas, that's not the case in my town and residents have to figure out trash service by themselves. And I don't give a rats ass if there's a playground in my neighborhood, there's a perfectly fine park about a 5 minute walk away. And for what I pay in HOA dues I could just save up for my own roofing and siding instead and probably get better and longer-lasting stuff.

My HOA manages communal property (trails, playgrounds, the pool and tennis/basketball courts) and does grounds keeping. They have some rules I find annoying but most of their rules are sensible (like don’t build a fire pit below your deck and don’t block your neighbors driveway with your cars). Ultimately, my HOA is just not that big of a deal. You don’t hear about HOAs like that because they are not interesting enough to post about online.

Problem is they do serve a purpose. Good for home values (in theory). Bad if you actually want to live in your home.

Not having windows? HOA violation. Better call the cops on them.

Did you know you can buy seeds for common weeds?

We had an almost literal Disney villain as president in 2016 and he might become one again. A lot of people in this country hate fun.