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submitted 3 months ago by pelletbucket@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

I'm visiting extended family for the first time in a long time, and one of my nieces has reached the impressionable age where she keeps mimicking things that she sees me do. what's a really funny but fairly harmless thing I should teach her to do?

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[-] Sanctus@lemmy.world 137 points 3 months ago

It'd be hilarious if you taught her how to code Fortran.

[-] cm0002@lemmy.world 82 points 3 months ago
[-] tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 3 months ago

Hey this might make her millions in the future

[-] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

You sick bastard! Have her do a print loop in BASIC.

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[-] SidewaysHighways@lemmy.world 89 points 3 months ago

Flicking your cheek just right to make the water drop noise

[-] DessertStorms@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

This is evil

donkey makes popping noise

(not exactly the same noise but can be used to the same effect)

[-] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

OP, do this one

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[-] kromem@lemmy.world 67 points 3 months ago

On a vacation when I was a teenager I taught my younger sibling the "SYN/ACK" game.

They still remember the TCP stack handshake protocol including resets and acks years later.

[-] 0_0j@lemmy.world 21 points 3 months ago

Lol, kid will sniff packets next

[-] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 12 points 3 months ago

What kind of game is this? Never heard of it

[-] Iamsqueegee@sh.itjust.works 65 points 3 months ago

My niece and nephew loved the “this guy” gag. What’s got two thumbs and thinks you’re the coolest? THIS GUY! and point to yourself with your thumbs.

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[-] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 54 points 3 months ago

Teach her to order something off a foreign-language menu, invite the family out to dinner, and see if she can place her order fluently.

Doing the "Five year old white girl shocks waitress by ordering Orange Chicken in perfect Mandarian" bit IRL would be pretty funny and adorable.

[-] zakobjoa@lemmy.world 50 points 3 months ago

I've thought my niece that policemen go "oink oink" and that pigs go "You have the right to remain silent!"

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[-] knightly@pawb.social 47 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Lockpicking

Using Linux

Media piracy

Feeding the homeless

Wheatpasting / graffiti

Political theory

Shoplifting from corporate chains

First Aid

Legal observation

Black bloc tactics

Guerilla gardening

Spotting plainclothes cops / informants

Dialectical Materialism

[-] OsaErisXero@kbin.run 21 points 3 months ago

Idk about some of these given the age bracket, but Spot the Fed is fun for the whole family.

[-] Clydesdalecrusher@programming.dev 12 points 3 months ago

She could configure linux from scratch

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[-] WatDabney@sopuli.xyz 46 points 3 months ago
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[-] TootSweet@lemmy.world 45 points 3 months ago
  • Beatboxing. "Boots and cats and boots and cats"-style.
  • The pulling your thumb off trick.
  • The Macarena.
  • "The Game". ("You just lost The Game.")
  • Chopsticks on the piano/keyboard/toy xylophone/etc.
  • "The Name Game."
[-] kitnaht@lemmy.world 42 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

A buddy of mine taught his 5 yr old daughter to tell people "One time, at band camp...I stuck a flute in my..." *long pause* "nose".

And he gets joy remembering all of the people go wide-eyed waiting for that next word out of her mouth.

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[-] sundray@lemmus.org 38 points 3 months ago

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"CHICKEN BUTT!"

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[-] EtherWhack@lemmy.world 38 points 3 months ago

Teach her how she can insert "apparently" into every statement.

[-] BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 months ago

My 8 year old starts almost every sentence with "By the way."

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[-] InputZero@lemmy.ml 35 points 3 months ago

If she's the right age, Teach her The Game. It's a brain virus game.

Rule number 1 of The Game, you can not think about The Game. When you think about The Game you lose.

Rule number 2, when you think of The Game you have to say that you've lost The Game. Ideally loudly and publicly.

Rule number 3, after losing the game you get 30 minutes grace period to stop thinking about it before The Game starts again.

Rule number 4, once you have learned about the game you may either play the game or cheat.

[-] grue@lemmy.world 31 points 3 months ago
[-] Captainvaqina@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 months ago

Dangit. It's been years. You flipping flipper.

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[-] UpperBroccoli@lemmy.blahaj.zone 34 points 3 months ago

I taught my niece to say "I can't work like this!". That was fun!

[-] Nomad@infosec.pub 33 points 3 months ago

I taught my kid to say "mom drinks beer for breakfast" as soon as she could talk. Wasn't that popular with the family xD

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[-] Subnet64@lemmy.world 31 points 3 months ago
[-] DessertStorms@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 3 months ago

Alternatively - hand farts for the times it's too hot to want to stick a hand in your armpit lol

[-] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 11 points 3 months ago

Seconding hand farts. I've never seen anyone wash their hands after doing armpit farts.

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[-] riskable@programming.dev 30 points 3 months ago

How to tie her shoes the instant/quick way. She'll be the coolest kid to all her peers and even amaze other parents who witness it...

https://youtu.be/Q5qZpQe_4EA?si=6fPhLyHs5BwJoaoA

(I have no affiliation with that channel it was just the first thing that came up when I searched)

[-] Hello_there@fedia.io 24 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

End every other sentence with ~ nya ~

[-] ace_garp@lemmy.world 20 points 3 months ago

The drums.

Or a less chaotic-evil suggestion, that water-drop sound made by flicking your cheek.

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[-] rand_alpha19@moist.catsweat.com 19 points 3 months ago

The Macarena and/or the YMCA dance, it's fun for kids to do over and over but harmless.

[-] gac11@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago

I have had pretty good luck with doing

High five Up high Down low Too slow

My nephew would just let me do it forever, always trying to beat me on the too slow bit.

[-] wuphysics87@lemmy.ml 15 points 3 months ago

I taught my 18 month year old niece the sound a dinosaur makes. ROOOOOOOAAAR

[-] pelletbucket@lemm.ee 15 points 3 months ago

i decided to let her watch Smackdown with me. we'll see what she picks up as a surprise for mom & dad

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[-] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Give her some unconventional future career ideas. Non-edgy ones, of course. I think it would be pretty funny if after a visit from an uncle your kid was talking about sailing knots or embalming procedures or something.

[-] m__a__b@lemmy.ca 13 points 3 months ago

Pull my finger.

[-] Tarball@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Teach her to take a drink and then smack her lips and say, “ahhh”.

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[-] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 13 points 3 months ago
[-] falk1856@midwest.social 12 points 3 months ago

That it's pronounced heliclopter and not helicopter.

[-] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 18 points 3 months ago

Helico-pter

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[-] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 12 points 3 months ago

Juggling ? beginning with two balls is fairly easy and is a slippery gateway to more balls

[-] fubarx@lemmy.ml 12 points 3 months ago

Poker. And proper bluffing.

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[-] dessalines@lemmy.ml 12 points 3 months ago

Do something that will confuse her parents a ton. Like tell her that every time she wants something, she has to touch her nose three times then say the thing. Demonstrate it a lot to drill it in.

taps nose three times... COOKIES

[-] CentrifugalChicken@lemm.ee 10 points 3 months ago

We got my niece to speak a little Klingon.

[-] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 10 points 3 months ago

Gang signs.

[-] lemonSqueezy@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

Tell her a fun fact, in your best science teacher tone. It takes one billion microseconds to get to one second. Hopefully she can run with this and ask more questions.

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this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2024
142 points (94.9% liked)

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