So, I want to do some martial arts, for self defense. Ideally one that will be useful without giving me CTE, or any long term bad stuff, even though I feel this is already asking for too much 
I don't live in the U๐๐ so gun related stuff isn't really an option.
I'm somewhat heavy, with a year of experience in lifting, and my cardio is not the best, but I can do long walks (of 1 or 2 hours) before getting tired.
I'm going to move to a bigger city in September, and there's a lot of stuff available, so you can comment on the more niche options.
So yeah, any advice from your experiences is welcome lol
If I had known people started arguing over my post I wouldn't have made it.
Any martial art that isn't founded on some magic nonsense is pretty much equally useful (and useless) since the main thing you're learning is general biomechanics and quick response to violence.
If you actually want to maximize your ability to defend yourself from random acts of violence, skip the martial arts and become an expert at quickly going from a resting position to accurately shooting something with your pistol. If you want to maximize your ability to defend your community or a structure from a more organized attack, get an AR-15 and become a skilled marksman.
But martial arts are fun (and ideally cheap) so definitely do it if it sounds like something you'd enjoy.
this is the most american thing i've ever heard
If you're in a position that you have to punch someone or throw them to the ground or whatever, you're in a dire enough situation to shoot them. Since either of those things can kill someone, you shouldn't do them unless you're ok with the idea of killing someone. And if you're ok with the idea of killing someone, the most optimal tool for that job is a gun.
It's not "American" it's just reality.
the op specifically said guns aren't an option for them, you're just being annoying and unhelpful
This is ignoring a wide spectrum of social violence where killing people is not the goal of either party and reacting in such a manner in such a situation would thusly get you socially ostracized and probably thrown in jail for manslaughter or equivalent, even in the gun-happy USA.
Besides, attempting to draw a firearm in a hand to hand combat situation is a stupid idea - it's going to be a struggle to actually get an accurate shooting position, and in the mess of desperate grappling that results all that practice shooting is going to be useless and you'll be just as likely to accidentally shoot yourself, a bystander, or someone trying to intervene as the target you intended. Nobody is quick drawing and smoking a guy after being punched, and if you draw FIRST you're rightly getting thrown in jail for murder.
For both social and practical in the moment reasons, this is bad advice - martial arts genuinely excel at this niche because it's socially acceptable to respond with it with attacked by unarmed hands, and it's literally just much more consistently effective at that range than firearms.
If you're putting your hands on me I'm going to assume you're trying to kill me (or worse) and respond accordingly. Keep your fucking hands to yourself if you don't want to get smoked.
I'm not saying I endorse the practice, stop acting like the kind of people who do go around picking fights.
While you are correct that even a single punch carries a risk of death - that's why you don't pick fights - it remains a fact that humans have fought each other without death being the intended outcome for literally the entirety of human existence, and that currently in most places the vast majority of humans will never get into a fight where murder is intended.
Because of this, there is a certain etiquette around even self defensive violence that exists in all societies, and the majority almost universally regard pulling a weapon when attacked by an unarmed person to be a socially and legally unacceptable decision, regardless of the actual statistical reality of the risk of death in unarmed combat - unless there's some other mitigating factor like being jumped by a group or being a woman being attacked by a man, at least in theory.
While being thrown in jail for manslaughter is arguably better than being killed, it'd be better for neither to happen - and martial arts allow you to accomplish this.
I note also that you had no response to my assertion of the impractical nature of your advice - this is something police departments have put a lot of effort into analyzing and figuring out, as they're the only demographic of armed individuals who are somewhat regularly in combat with unarmed or melee-armed individuals. They have found that attempting to draw a firearm is useless even within distances as far as 21 feet - and most self defense situations turn violent when the people involved are FAR closer to that, often within or just out of arms reach.
Maybe consider who you're talking to and what kind of perspective they may be coming from. If someone is putting their hands on me, there's probably a 98% chance they're bigger and heavier than me.
As said in another comment, I am a trans woman, I am in precisely the same situation.
That doesn't mean what your were suggesting isn't bad advice to give to others - again, if someone put their hands on you then your firearm is going to be extremely difficult to use effectively. Martial arts are genuinely the more suited tool for the situation, strength/size can be overcome - at least momentarily - with technique even when the gap is large, and all you need is to create enough space to either run, draw your weapon, or both.
It's definitely a lot harder for women, but it still very much can be done and knowing how to do it only makes a firearm more effective by increasing the odds that you will actually be able to use it.
Which is why you train to use your firearm quickly and from inconvenient positions.
Frankly, I just don't agree with the notion that guns are useless within 21 feet. That's cop pseudoscience.
Just because cops are saying it doesn't mean it's not true. There's actual studies on the matter and they've done testing. Drawing a firearm and shooting accurately enough times to consistently disable a human immediately - so at least two shots with handgun calibers - is extremely difficult and cannot be done consistently within that range or closer, and again most self defense starts within or just outside arms reach.
That's a large part of why they themselves teach police basic grappling. Most of them aren't any good at it, but they are still taught it for good reason.
Again, it's a matter of consistency - if you try to draw a firearm when someone has hands on you, they are GOING to attempt to stop or disarm you by grappling you, even if likely in a clumsy untrained way.
Obviously, it's much easier to resist grappling when you yourself know how to grapple. It's a skill, after all.
21 feet might be ideal conditions but if their hands are on you already how the fuck are you getting a gun out and pointing it without surrendering the grapple?
do you have three arms?
better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6 ๐
I go back and forth on whether that's true, personally, but that's because of my particular circumstances.
For one, I'm already depressed as it is and I doubt prison would improve my misery circumstances. For two, I am a trans woman and I've heard all about v-coding and I'd rather die than be subject to that.
Ideally, however, neither. And that's probably what would happen if I responded to an attack by throwing the guy on the ground and running away really fast.
This is a wrong view and you should self-crit.
Maybe when you can explain why I should ever just take the gamble and assume you aren't trying to do me serious harm when you so grievously breach the social contract as to lay your hands on me, a complete stranger, who may be armed and may take your threat very seriously.
In US cities in 2025 there were 19 homicides for every 1000 aggravated assaults.
The vast majority of times a person 'lays their hands' on another are not prosecuted as an aggravated assault.
If you're not in a city, the odds are even better. In the US in 2022, 1.8 million people visited the emergency department of a hospital because they had been assaulted. Only 22,830 people were murdered. Most times someone 'lays their hands on' a person, that person does not end up in hospital.
Even without considering the impact on your life if you succeed, if you live in the US and think your plan of trying to shoot dead anyone who lays their hands on you has even a 2% chance of backfiring catastrophically then it's not a plan that will result in better outcomes for you.
rare civility w
๐ค๐๐ค
Wow can hardly imagine what a heatscore you must be if this is anything other than fantasies. You sound like one of those "castle doctrine" dickheads. I wouldn't go anywhere with you IRL for fear you would escalate to 100% any little thing.
Ive experience "so grievously breach the social contract as to lay your hands on me" many times and in most cases I was able to easily exit the situation by shaking them off and walking away. Could even be some kind of benign mixup.
Since you have internet access, I must conclude this is all posturing because everyone gets touched once in a while out in public and if you actually shot people with such little provocation, you'd be incarcerated.
I've been a victim of random street violence and while I sometimes think about what would have happened if I had punched my way out while it was still a 1v1 scenario, I can't imagine wanting to shoot my assailants.
A friend I worked with would constantly get agitated about how people at the job were about to start fights with him, and he often talked about his pistol being a deterrent. Neither of us is an intimidating presence physically. I only had 1 time when I was afraid of someone being violent to me, and I wouldn't have wanted to escalate beyond a small blade to defensively slash and then run away. Luckily it didn't come to that, because I'm likeable and persuasive enough.
Small blades are literally less effective for self defense than your hands.
Thanks, I'll keep that in mind in case fortune delivers another "situation" to me.
Just to be clear, the reason is you need to do structural damage to stop an attack. Breaking joints or bones, damaging organs, etc. A small blade is going to make an attacker bleed and it's pretty likely to kill them... but only like an hour later after they've already done whatever they were planning to do.
The second most American thing ever.
You're right: America is the only place where women take being manhandled by strangers as a serious threat. This is definitely not an extremely privileged first-world view.
Literally the majority of situations that involves escalating levels of confrontations to the point of violence occur within six feet of participants, making the rapid attempt to draw any sort of concealed weapon extremely difficult. You are in a very literal sense asking to get your ass beat and possibly having your own weapon used against you in some situations as well. The quickest you'd get is with an inside-wasteband low cut holster which are fucking uncomfortable and force you to dress like a construction worker to actually conceal the outline of the thing on you and to actually make the whole thing work you gotta carry it loaded and have the firearm be hammerless to lower snag possibilities. All qualities that pose greater dangers to yourself and others around you in your daily life that you have to weigh against whatever slim possibility you may find yourself in a violent confrontation that necessitates engaging in manslaughter.
At that point it's better to learn how to deescalate and get distance from confrontations - and preferably breaking contact altogether - so as to have a better chance of at least drawing and presenting the existence of a weapon or firearm in a less explosive manner and persuading the other party that progressing any further is no longer worth it.
You're literally better off learning mad dog fist than what you're arguing for because you're no longer rhetorically looking to engage in self-defense, you're in practice seeking confrontation with the intent to murder to the second degree.
It's always fucking better to deescalate and get distance, especially if you're armed. I've never had to kill anyone because I've never let anyone get to the point where I would have to. What I'm talking about is the point at which a physical fight has been made unavoidable by an attacker who is determined to fight and has you cornered, pinned, or caught off guard. In that situation, you're getting 100% of the fight I'm capable of giving. If I've got a gun that means I'm shooting you. If I don't that means I'm gouging out your eyes.
I'm not preparing for a "low stakes fight where I don't want anyone to get hurt" because I'm never fucking going to get into one. That would be pointless and dumb and if you ever intend to get into such a fight you need to fucking stop.
Beyond delusional.
In another comment you described your threshold for pulling out a gun and shooting as:
And here it is:
Not sure which one came first. But you need to be able to realistically assess risk. Sometimes someone just wants your wallet. Just give it to them, no need for summary executions.
Sorry but you may not have a choice. Sometimes trouble finds you. So your plan to avoid getting into low level fights is to instantly escalate everything to to the absolute max. Every perceived altercation becomes a homicide. Cop brain.
Fucking obviously. I'm talking about self defense against a determined attacker. Martial arts doesn't help you give someone your wallet either. If you're considering pulling some fucking judo on a guy, you're past that stage.
Projection.
Then its too late to pull a gun. That's what literally everyone is telling you.
Best course of action you've suggested thus far.
Completely incomprehensible response. You're telling me you agree with gouging out someone's eyes but not with shooting them? In exactly the same situation? You're being ridiculous.
Your response is the easiest way for you to tell me you've never thrown hands before.
Is it shameful to be mindful and cautious and not put myself in situations where I "throw hands" or is it shameful to pick fights? Pick one. You can't have it both ways.
If I ever "threw hands" with anyone I would lose. I'm less than 5 feet tall. That's why I have a gun.