So, I want to do some martial arts, for self defense. Ideally one that will be useful without giving me CTE, or any long term bad stuff, even though I feel this is already asking for too much 
I don't live in the U๐๐ so gun related stuff isn't really an option.
I'm somewhat heavy, with a year of experience in lifting, and my cardio is not the best, but I can do long walks (of 1 or 2 hours) before getting tired.
I'm going to move to a bigger city in September, and there's a lot of stuff available, so you can comment on the more niche options.
So yeah, any advice from your experiences is welcome lol
If I had known people started arguing over my post I wouldn't have made it.
Literally the majority of situations that involves escalating levels of confrontations to the point of violence occur within six feet of participants, making the rapid attempt to draw any sort of concealed weapon extremely difficult. You are in a very literal sense asking to get your ass beat and possibly having your own weapon used against you in some situations as well. The quickest you'd get is with an inside-wasteband low cut holster which are fucking uncomfortable and force you to dress like a construction worker to actually conceal the outline of the thing on you and to actually make the whole thing work you gotta carry it loaded and have the firearm be hammerless to lower snag possibilities. All qualities that pose greater dangers to yourself and others around you in your daily life that you have to weigh against whatever slim possibility you may find yourself in a violent confrontation that necessitates engaging in manslaughter.
At that point it's better to learn how to deescalate and get distance from confrontations - and preferably breaking contact altogether - so as to have a better chance of at least drawing and presenting the existence of a weapon or firearm in a less explosive manner and persuading the other party that progressing any further is no longer worth it.
You're literally better off learning mad dog fist than what you're arguing for because you're no longer rhetorically looking to engage in self-defense, you're in practice seeking confrontation with the intent to murder to the second degree.
It's always fucking better to deescalate and get distance, especially if you're armed. I've never had to kill anyone because I've never let anyone get to the point where I would have to. What I'm talking about is the point at which a physical fight has been made unavoidable by an attacker who is determined to fight and has you cornered, pinned, or caught off guard. In that situation, you're getting 100% of the fight I'm capable of giving. If I've got a gun that means I'm shooting you. If I don't that means I'm gouging out your eyes.
I'm not preparing for a "low stakes fight where I don't want anyone to get hurt" because I'm never fucking going to get into one. That would be pointless and dumb and if you ever intend to get into such a fight you need to fucking stop.
Beyond delusional.
In another comment you described your threshold for pulling out a gun and shooting as:
And here it is:
Not sure which one came first. But you need to be able to realistically assess risk. Sometimes someone just wants your wallet. Just give it to them, no need for summary executions.
Sorry but you may not have a choice. Sometimes trouble finds you. So your plan to avoid getting into low level fights is to instantly escalate everything to to the absolute max. Every perceived altercation becomes a homicide. Cop brain.
Fucking obviously. I'm talking about self defense against a determined attacker. Martial arts doesn't help you give someone your wallet either. If you're considering pulling some fucking judo on a guy, you're past that stage.
Projection.
Then its too late to pull a gun. That's what literally everyone is telling you.
Best course of action you've suggested thus far.
Completely incomprehensible response. You're telling me you agree with gouging out someone's eyes but not with shooting them? In exactly the same situation? You're being ridiculous.
Your response is the easiest way for you to tell me you've never thrown hands before.
Is it shameful to be mindful and cautious and not put myself in situations where I "throw hands" or is it shameful to pick fights? Pick one. You can't have it both ways.
If I ever "threw hands" with anyone I would lose. I'm less than 5 feet tall. That's why I have a gun.