this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2024
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[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 88 points 2 years ago (1 children)

How long can one person avoid yard work? The answer will shock you.

[–] Boozilla@lemmy.world 59 points 2 years ago

"Clueless old man tries the cloud."

[–] KISSmyOSFeddit@lemmy.world 45 points 2 years ago (2 children)

He's unemployed, autistic, spends his free time configuring Linux distros, doomscrolling and falling down Wikipedia rabbit holes. You won't believe how he met his wife!

[–] Artyom@lemm.ee 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Wait, but how did you meet your wife though?

I too choose this guy's wife.

[–] KISSmyOSFeddit@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

I asked for her number in a night club, she was the bartender.

[–] NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

3 long lines of 'headline' won't get you any clicks (and no wife)

[–] Toes@ani.social 37 points 2 years ago (1 children)

101 mistakes to avoid if you wanna reach 30

[–] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 16 points 2 years ago

me, reading: oh no... oh no!

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 31 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Man goes to memorial service and learns coworker's shocking secret!

[–] hddsx@lemmy.ca 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 25 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

My stepmom's mom died, I found out my coworker sings in her church's choir.

If you knew him, you'd be shocked too.

[–] SurfinBird@lemmy.ca 21 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This is just how the click baits turn out too

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 13 points 2 years ago

Hey shitty news sites! I'm accepting bids for part time click bait writing!

[–] lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 2 years ago

Fail compilation 2024 (watch till the end 😂👌)

[–] Got_Bent@lemmy.world 21 points 2 years ago

Scientists discover THIS many shots of vodka will inebriate you

[–] rimu@piefed.social 15 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Chaos Condo in Manila: Yowling cat, BDSM couple and Nose Job Woes Shake Up Quiet Night.

I am not kidding. Life is strange sometimes.

[–] rimu@piefed.social 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Also across the hall there is a phone that rings for 10 full minutes, every day.

And the aircon smells like mold.

And the windows are stuck shut.

And the bathroom smells a bit like sewer.

Sorry, got on a roll there.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 4 points 2 years ago

This reads like the lyrics to a Godspeed You! Black Emperor song. Like a more depressing Dead Flag Blues.

[–] Dran_Arcana@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

Okay, I'm hooked, I have to know the non-clickbait story

[–] cobysev@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Retired at 38 and living childless with his wife in the countryside... What will he do with the rest of his life? #7 may surprise you.

[–] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 years ago

WHATS #7 damnit‽

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 12 points 2 years ago

Man waits 3 months to see his girlfriend, you won't believe what happens next!

She was out of town for work for a couple of months, we saw each other one time since she got back. Then before we could see eachother again, she came down with COVID and I got fucking pneumonia. So we have to wait a bit before seeing each other until we're both healthy.

[–] HipsterTenZero@dormi.zone 12 points 2 years ago

Local fuckup reclaims a meager portion of his dignity using this one weird trick

[–] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 11 points 2 years ago

Nurgle mistakenly identifies local sedentary fatass as living in tribute to him, rewards him with the blessing of now 4 weeks of continuous digestive plague.

[–] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

You Won't Believe This Guy's Crazy Knife Collection!

[–] janus2@lemmy.zip 10 points 2 years ago

How Is This Mentally Ill Single Millenial Holding Down Two Jobs and Crunching Through Debt Payments? The Answer Will Shock Most Americans!

(the answer is I am a lucky bitch whose main employer fucks up just about everything except they provide premium health insurance I can afford to pay for and pay copays for, and this has been drastically improving my life)

[–] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

Waiting for help, this shocking new treatment might be just what was needed!

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

She Put 26 Years Into A Relationship In Exchange For A Mountain Of Debt, And Now He's Throwing Things At Her!

[–] Nemo@midwest.social 8 points 2 years ago

Millennials are killing the idea of retirement!

[–] fin@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 years ago

I tried programming in vvvv and this happened…

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 5 points 2 years ago

"Virtually legless breed of alien woman hides in plain sight, sighted in Pitcairn and dumped in VT by her family after fleeing the people of NY!"

[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

Man dies killing two cars on bicycle, his zombie stole my KOM ten years later.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 4 points 2 years ago

All I know is that it would be a headline from The Onion.

[–] yggdar@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Does life suck, or not?

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Man tasked with feeding his best friend's dog his last meal. You'll never believe what was on the menu!

[–] Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago

Professional plumber lost his job and starts their own company - this happened next

[–] p5yk0t1km1r4ge@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"Will he kill himself? This man hates his life!"

[–] Bluetreefrog@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Hi there. We all have ups and downs in life, but sometimes the downs can feel really down or can feel like they will never end. Take heart though, things can and do get better. If you are having thoughts about taking your own life, know that there are people who care, and are there to help you. Reach out to someone if you need to.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide