If Jesus and his apostles had Chinese food for the last supper, what do you imagine the fortunes would say? (lemm.ee)

submitted 7 months ago by shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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[-] Lemming421@lemmy.world 42 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

“After some initial trouble, you will ascend to new heights”

Edit: just realised that’s a bit dark if it was Judas’s fortune…

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 33 points 7 months ago

"Hang in there! You're going to really nail your next undertaking."

[-] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 28 points 7 months ago

So long. And thanks for all the fish.

[-] sanguinepar@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

And loaves.

[-] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 4 points 7 months ago

It's the most layered joke I've ever come up with. Pretty proud of it, ngl.

[-] sanguinepar@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago

Rightly so. I laughed at the HHGG reference and then I got the second level and mentally applauded you :-)

[-] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago

Lol.

[-] asmoranomar@lemmy.world 27 points 7 months ago

Given that Chinese fortunes aren't fortunes and are usually proverbs....it'll probably be something like "You can walk on water too, if it's cold enough."

[-] cloudless@lemmy.cafe 20 points 7 months ago

"No fortune cookies for you! This is not America."

[-] Jakdracula@lemmy.world 14 points 7 months ago

“That wasn’t chicken”

[-] Susaga@ttrpg.network 10 points 7 months ago

"You will reunite with a friend"
"The bad times will be over quickly"
"A sudden windfall will come your way"

[-] fsr1967@lemmy.world 10 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

"Even the closest of friends can sometimes hold betrayal in their hearts."

[-] Everythingispenguins@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago

I just want to know if the loto numbers were any good.

[-] leaky_shower_thought@feddit.nl 6 points 7 months ago

in these dark times, people will see their fortune in you. you are their silver lining.

[-] NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

Nobody could tell, because they had no translation.

[-] tal@lemmy.today 5 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

They probably weren't literate.

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 0 points 7 months ago

🏛️🗡️✝️👉👉

[-] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

A stitch in time saves nine.

[-] RalphFurley@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

He who goes to sleep with itchy butthole wakes up with smelly finger

[-] nxdefiant@startrek.website 1 points 7 months ago

😬

[-] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee -1 points 7 months ago

Fortune Cookies are American, not Chinese.

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee -2 points 7 months ago

Yeah well so is Chinese food

this post was submitted on 30 Mar 2024

64 points (83.3% liked)

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