I live in Bangalore, India. The local language here is Kannada but I don’t speak it nor do I have many friends who speak it. I named my cat Bacardi and would call him Bacoo. Turns out the word for cat in the local language is also “Bacoo”. So for any local who saw me interact with my cat, it looked like I was calling my cat “cat”! I found out around a year later!

Yardstick. She only has 3 feet.

Does "Shithead" count? That's what I call my cat :P

My sister had a lot of cats. We stopped being clever naming them, they got names like "Orange Short Hair", etc.

Except this one cat that otherwise looked like 2 others, except it had these amazing tufts of hair coming out of its ears, so we named him Ears. Then we found out he was deaf... but we had already named him Ears, so it stuck.

When my cats Porkchop and Applesauce get in trouble, they are called by their full names, Applewood Smoked Sausage and Porkus Von Chopp Chopp.

I call my cat turtle-butt.

There is no reason, when anyone asks why, I just say "her butt is made of turtle."

We had a lovely cat when I grew up, she was completely black, with short but compact fur, and tuffs on her ears.

For this to make sense, I need to talk about Swedish grammar...

In Swedish grammar we have two genus for words:

"Utrum" words get the suffix "(e)n" in their definitive form.

"Neutrum" words get the suffix "(e)t" in their definite form.

These words also get the en/ett article in front of it when talking about a signular unspecified item.

Example:

Car - bil, a car - en bil, the car - bilen

Table - bord, a table - ett bord, the table - bordet

Now, the Swedish word for cat is an utrum word:

Katt, en katt, katten.

One of the nicknames we used to call our cat was the neutrum defined form: "kattet".

Which if I am looking back at this comment is a funny nickname, with a stupidly complex explanation to non Swedish speakers.

"The Wuh" her actual name was diamond, but my brother one day just called her "Diamond Wuh" and it stuck. After that everything we called her was also a variation of wuh

My dog has hair loss problems and the base of her tail is bare. There's a big wrinkle in her skin there so she's Wrinklebutt and my other dog by default is Fuzzybutt

Millie is sometimes Miller lite

Lucy & Ethel. Originally there were two stray orange tabby kittens, but since my grandmother let them out to run around, one day only one came back home. Not knowing which was which, that cat became Lucy & Ethel, who proceeded to outlive my grandmother and one of her kids.

I have some kinda mutt who was abandoned by his owner (he was microchipped and we reached out saying we had him and they answered back telling us what a good dog he is and how much joy he'll bring us 🙄)

His original name was Kobe, but neither my husband nor I are basketball fans, so I changed it to "Korbie", as short for Korbel, my favorite cheap fake champagne.

Anyhow, he now gets referred to as "Korbie Porgie Pudding and Pie" or "Korbelicious" (Sung to the tune of "Fergielicious" of course!)

Growing up we had a cat named Remi, I would tell people his full name was Sir Remi Remington Remingston III. My mom hated it. I miss that cat, he was great

Our cats name is Rip but I call him Mr Boobs. No clue how that started just happened one day

Kitty. My cat's name is entirely different but the little asshole, after 15 years, still responds best to "Kitty". Fucker.

I have a Dibo/Bluenose mix. We call her "Fat Fat". She is like 85+lbs of pure love.

Brussels sprouts for my dog bruss

Princess consuella floofy pants

I call my dog named Kona "coconut" sometimes.

Had a cat that would always get into shit and get yelled at with "damn cat!" so much we just started calling him "Damncat."

Have a cat that scrunges every time you pet her head. Nicknames have evolved.

Scrungy cat, scrungy baby, scrungy butt, scrunge, scrung (hard G), scrungabutt, scring, and we've arrived at scringus bingus being the most ridiculous thing so far.

Furface. Cat adopted us one day, we collectively as a house never gave him a name for the exception of Furface.

Housekeeper. I was not a clever child and called an orange house cat that.

Bimbim. Crimson is the name of an orange bearded dragon. 2 year olds just cant pronounce Crimson, so it’s Bimbim now.

“Bumble tumble” for my dog. 😬

To my credit, the bumble ball commercial had just played.

I've named my dog "in-the-way dog". No matter what you're trying to get done, there he is.

Open a drawer? He's blocking it. Walking through a doorway? Step over him. Carrying a hot saucer to the sink? He's right at your feet when you turn around.

Eli, the dog, is now known as Elias Ikabob, sometimes known as Lias or kebab.

Della, the dog, is known as Smelly Belly Delly Sinky Cheese.

The beagle I owned had a habit of getting into the garbage can and getting the lid stuck around her waist like a tu-tu. She went by Trash Bandicoot.

Super rocket baby bok choy. His name is Ryu. I forgot what prompted that nickname 10+ years ago. But it stuck.

Our cat is called Gecko because he climbs everything. Never had any other name.

Growing up we had a German shepherd with HUGE ears we called Moose, but her main name was PITA. Now I’ve have a dog I adopted and gave the name ‘Dug’ (from UP), and will call McDouglass as a bit when he’s done something wrong

I had a cactus i named spiky .

I just call all my cats "cat"

the exception was the older cats I used to have, which I called both "chunky cat"

Probably calling Kika "cachaceira". It means drunkard, but I do it because she reacts really well to words with /ʃ/ or /ʒ/.

In the same vibe I often call her "chorona" (crybaby), "chata" (annoying), "jaguara" (sly/lazy), jumenta (donkey), "tutoja" (babytalk for "gostosa" - yummy, hot/sexy).

Then there's Siegfrieda. Or [insert any German word]frieda. Including Schweinfrieda (Pigfrieda), Scheißfrieda (Shitfrieda), Njaunjaufrieda (Meowmeowfrieda? I don't even know if "njau" is a legit word).

My cat is named Princess Vivienne von kitty pants.

Fuckercat

May he rest in peace

Little Shit-Dick for a cat. Let your imagination run wild.

Good Elon, my dog. Because I know there's a bad one

“Moon pig”. That cat was daft in the head and didn’t last long though.

Also called one “Fat Bob” because he was hench and that stuck. He got quite fat too.

I had a cat whose name was Kirby and his nickname eventually turned to Care Bear (because Kirby>Kirbs>Kirb-ber) and now my parents have a cat named Barry and he is Ber-ber.

There's also Rumball (Remy) and Kimball (Kimmy).

And the two I have now: Sullivan who is Little Bean (Sully-bean) and Elliot who is Little Moose (because Elliot Moose).

None of these are crazy silly I guess but I hadn't realized before that I tend to give cats matching nicknames.

I also have a dog who is a beagle and his name is Sir Hodgley III. He doesn't respond to any nicknames and there is great argument as to his real breed. He is not a real dog but a garden decoration, but I know in my heart of hearts that Sir Hodgley III is a beagle.

One of our cats gets called "Fluffy Chicken" or "Lala Chicken" quite a lot. I don't know why, she is neither cowardly nor poultry shaped.

Baron Meowser Von Kitty Cat (spoken with a fancy German accent.)