Mr. Xi, please fund a game where the communist international does a Red Dawn, but this time the good guys win.
this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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It's amazing how a series that's been stagnant since like 200X still keeps getting the AAA treatment, but that's pentagon money for ya.
lmao
Isn't crysis a whole thing about killing north koreans in a supersuit
Yes, and it turns into killing space aliens like halfway through
Who played crysis for the story. I remember it having good graphics for the time. Literally didn't remember it played in the DPRK, I guess it is a chud game too. But to my defense I was young and the game got pirated.
It was in a tropical setting, but I can't remember why the DPRK were there. It had good graphics for the time and good destruction physics too, but nothing as clever as a minor Half-Life 2 puzzle. I had it on PC and had a lot of fun with the level editor. It was easy to make big expansive levels and there was a decent modding scene but it was held back by the high performance requirements.
I found the level editor quite difficult to use, myself.
I couldn't tell you what the story was beyond generic 'North Korea is threatening to do things, and ALIENS' nonsense; it felt like it was riffing off of Halo:CE with the wild twist halfway through
Crysis was a PC benchmarking tool
Fidel Castro is a bossguy in Call of Duty. He uses his rape victim slave as a human shield before you kill him.
fun fact, that's actually a body double so you don't kill him.
too strong even in cod
Less of a boss and more of an interactive cutscene considering you kick down the door and shoot him in the head.
But also it's a body-double and the real Fidel captures the protagonist and gives him to the soviets to subject him to commie mind control.
Weird, that's what George Soros did to me.
This mission legitimately warped my perception of Fidel and Cuba for years after playing it as a kid. It's imperialist propaganda and it's quite effective.
I'm reality, the woman would be a double agent and would have sold out the Americans because she loves Fidel (real thing that actually happened)
Fidel Castro has at least a dozen illegitimate Director's Cut endings to his epic biopic.
I choose to believe
Let's talk about some of the people that you had s— that your paths crossed with
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
I only got to know this Trudeau-Castro conspiracy theory almost at the end of Trudeau's term. But oh, boy, how funny it would be.
It's also built into the plot of Twisted: The Musical (not literally but same idea)
Black Ops 2 has you fighting alongside Jonas Savimby in Angola
Lmaoooo what
You rescue him from a burning truck, and then you fight the literal hordes of MPLA soldiers, who's only weapons are machetes
It is as vile and racist as you would expect.
Which really sucks, because while CoD is Imperialist slop through and through, Black Ops 2 made some really prescient predictions about drone warfare. Also an aircraft carrier called the USS Barack Obama gets sunk lmao
Edit: nvm it's even worse. You don't rescue savimby from a burning truck, he shows up and stops you from saving a nameless guy from a burning truck, and then you go with him to kill hordes of machete wielding Communists.
Uhh let me sink here 
I prefer black ops as Fidel killing zombies:
Whoever (or whatever group of people) made Fidel's lines were awesome, some of my favourites:
"Socialists requires patience and I can wait for an eternity."
"Where's your secret service capitalistic perro?"
"Hey, I'll trade you a cigar for your monkey, Comrade Nixon."
"Your stench reminds me of the 23rd attempt of my life."
"No escape for those who live like parasites!"
"They fall as easily as Batista, ha-ha!"
"Let that be a lesson to the bourgeois!"
"History will absolve me!"
"¡Viva la Revolución!"
"I will use your stale skin to wrap my cigars!"
"Ah! Only a capitalist pig nation would deprive their people of power!"
more here: https://callofduty.fandom.com/wiki/%22Five%22/Quotes
Zombies=Bay of Pigs
I forgot that Black Ops is horrendous with this...
It was fun when I was 15 but looking back it's a game about how the communists did MKULTRA
Someone use ai to turn this into a pokemon snap type game where you're a tourist taking pictures of the landmarks.
Didn't the ancient Egypt AssCreed have a mode where you could explore and learn about the pyramids? Wish they did more shit like that lol
I think all of them have that mode now. AC at least pretends to care about the actual history sometimes. Even though they inject it with ancient aliens slop...
I never bothered to finish the Egypt one, and while they seem to make some neat settings the games are so dull lol. I'd play a free 2 hour edutainment tour of the settings if they released those separately lol.
They also had stuff like 
being a turbo lib 
Surprisingly they did with some. If you already have the games the full tours are free updates, but Baghdad and Saudi Arabia also have free app tours.
Call of Duty is already using AI on their games 
What is happening here?
You know how in batman theres thes scarecrow and he has the fear toxin. CoD basically had that and 80% of the game was ai generated.
Having the fear toxin injected into me and then forcibly shown retro game lets plays with numerous mods installed.
Watching Retsupurae feels like this
I'm losing my shit when I see a second and third Link on the screen after the OOT opening cutscene ends. I'm squirming under the restraints. It's a multiplayer mod. And the LPer is saying "I've never played OOT before." I'm thrashing. Stop. This.
Oh my god, it's even got OCRemixes inserted.
Limited time crossover with Expedition 33.
But for real, apparently this was some sort of dream sequence in the previous CoD. Guess they were trying to be deep or some shit, IDK.
If you had to make shooter chud slop as a job, you'd probably be making any excuse to put some weird shit in pmao