"Offer still stands. Also, I like the spinning teacups."
this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2026
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I love the idea that they're the kind of person who sees this abrupt change of subject as completely reasonable. "Yeah, people just ask to sit on my face whenever, NBD."
Unironically that's been how most of my successful dates have gone. Being conventionally attractive with the social skills of a turnip can be interesting sometimes.
Oh, I know it's a different world for the attractive. Best I can manage is, "You're scrawny and weird, and you've got a beak like a toucan, but it is 3:00 am, so..."
Hey, that's my uncle and he cleaned up both before and between his marriages. I recommend a subscription to GQ and a career in academia.
Toucan beaks run in the family.
scrawny and weird
I'm listening
Face sitting.
Some guys: "I am the genetically perfect man, able to provide and protect, recite poetry and carry you from a burning building to safety."
My father: "Alcoholism and mental illness means I'm usually the last person in the bar at closing time."
That toucan beak is an asset, my friend. Use it!
Some people find those kind of noses to be disarmingly attractive.
Ayy, you come here often?
Ooo, sexy turnip!
Why was this in Linda’s voice?
Well, it is now for me!
Bob's burgers? That Linda?
Yup
I’ve never been described so well, social skills of a turnip. I want to be mad, but I’ve had a lot of sex on first dates and my penis is average, unless huge balls are sexy.
You never used gay hookup apps have you? Straight dudes wish they had 1/1000th of what we get to enjoy. This is what a sexual revolution is like. Get good breeders.
It sounds lovely, but I have trust and gender presentation issues, and I scared myself away from hookup apps. (Prior to finding my current long-term partner I was content to circulate in casual relations in my social group.)
This is an average grindr convo
100%
Usually the opener is a picture of their genitals or anus.
No face pic though, as per tradition
Ah, gotcha. (I'm afraid I'm app-averse.)
My experience tells me misunderstandings, whether on purpose or not, is one way to "open up the convo"
It took me a while to really accept that ppl just offer to fuck you based on a few pics and a couple of paragraphs of text, but it really happens.
it's better to just get it out of the way rather than have long tormented pretend social activity when two people are literally just horny
...and if there was someone you thought was hot and you wanted to fuck them, do you want to fuck it up by having a weird disagreement about whether it's worthwhile for SpaceX to go to Mars or some shit?
I'm less visually driven at this point, so I need to smell someone and see how they move before I know whether I want to fuck them.
Sometimes they just have a way with words, but for the most part I want to have a quick meetup somewhere in public to see whether they feel safe.
If they're not willing to be seen in public with me, they don't get to fuck me.
They could be the hottest, richest and otherwise most intresting person but if they start talking about space x as worth trillions and how he will get us to Mars am out.
Oh which is why you say fuck them frist but do i want to risk sex with an elon fan..... oh shit is this why people do one night stands?!
Unless you have the convo everyone is in a superpoision of both being an elon fan and not....
They don't have to be an Elon Musk fan boy to be like "huh going to Mars would be cool, I don't know", but that's the thing, you just introduced a way to come to a quick conclusion where you don't respect the person enough to fuck them. It's over before it starts.
If they start rattling off about Elon Musk out of nowhere, I get it, but that's also part of it - they'd do that shit if you tried casual sex and it'd kill the mood. But if you try to talk a ton instead of jumping to casual sex, you invite this sort of incident. You ask them to talk about shit they're interested in, and some of it may disappoint you greatly.
By having this small talk ahead of time and trying to make a connection, you stopped trying to have casual sex and started trying to connect with someone, and you're likely not going to be each other's soul mate here when you're both just being horny... So why bother fucking with that type of conversation?
I've had casual sex where most of what I remember was the shitty small talk after that I should have avoided. It's way better to be like "yeah baby that was great uh huh bye" and run out the fucking door after.
There's another unfortunate scenario where they end up liking you and wanting more and you don't and you started it out with honestly being horny, so don't give them a reason to fall for you and ruin a good casual thing too.
That's the kind of mood I would want to get out of my system at a sex party, not in my apartment. 🤷🏻
All good, sounds like everybody in the thread is getting what they need.
That address is enough to go on for a face ride scavenger hunt. Blur more.
Given how it lines up with the phrase "bed time" we're likely looking at a 3 digit house number and a 4 letter street name, probably ending in a y, so somethign like 123 July St. Though in a town as large as Los Angeles you do have a lot of hunting to do there.
But can you reach before bed time
The last time March 21 fell on a Thursday was 2024, so that offer is probably expired by now.
This has me rolling. Imagine someone showing up at his place 3 years later, "Hey, this coupon still good?" 😂
There are plenty of accidents during face rides. Those waterproof doggy blankets are a life saver.
Love the water rides
"I meant fave"
"My bed time is at 12."