this post was submitted on 07 Oct 2026
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Chapotraphouse

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Princess Fiona never complained, but Sen. Jerry Cirino sure did.

In May, the Ohio state senator emailed a local police chief, asking him to file criminal charges against a progressive blogger who texted Cirino an image of Shrek… enjoying his swamp stick.

The blogger, D.J. Byrnes, runs The Rooster political website.

According to Signal Ohio:

The text messages include Byrnes’ political commentary, him calling Cirino his oft-repeated and derisive nickname “Young Mussolini,” and Byrnes plugging his own newsletter.

It also contains a digitally altered version of Shrek, the ogre with a titular children’s movie franchise, with his penis exposed. An affidavit with Byrnes’ arrest report refers to the depiction of Shrek as “fully nude with an exposed and erect humanlike penis engaged in an act of masturbation.”

No Shrektile Dysfunction there.

On May 8, two days after Byrnes sent the texts, Cirino emailed Kirtland Police Chief Jamey Fisher, “officially filing a complaint” and asking the police to file charges against Byrnes.

Byrnes was arrested on Monday based on what appears to be the three texts.

He was released after 23 hours in jail, commenting on Instagram: “I believe that the facts presented in court will show that I’m innocent of the misdemeanor charge of telecommunications harassment.”

So . . . can the government prosecute Byrnes for his speech? Let’s look at the facts.

top 25 comments
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[–] ClathrateG@hexbear.net 46 points 3 days ago
[–] 9to5@hexbear.net 37 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Fuck and I thought we lived in a democracy sadness

[–] Lussy@hexbear.net 30 points 3 days ago

Can’t support Palestine, can’t post, can’t even send your homie a shrek dick. Can’t have shit in America

[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 40 points 3 days ago (2 children)

humanlike penis

so an ogre-like penis would've been OK? how does he know what ogre penis looks like?

[–] Kefla@hexbear.net 5 points 2 days ago

It could've been horse-like

Or tortoise-like scared

[–] Abracadaniel@hexbear.net 9 points 3 days ago

They're just describing it. Why would it mean that anything not matching that description would've been ok?

[–] SerLava@hexbear.net 42 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] TommyCatkins@hexbear.net 7 points 2 days ago

It was The Rooster. Guy does great on the ground journalism in Columbus just generally getting into state senator/reps faces about what they are voting for and say. He made national game last year when he tricked Vivek Ramaswamy into meeting him at a Raising Cane's by pretending to be the head coach of the OSU football team.

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 31 points 3 days ago

Cant do anything anymore cause of woke

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 38 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Should have just stuck with PIGPOOPBALLS but points for shrek-troll hope the jury aquits

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 32 points 3 days ago

The image is included in the article, thank god for ethical journalism

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 34 points 3 days ago

Officer, the green man's penis was exposed the-republican

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 25 points 3 days ago

Put it to a referendum to see if it should be legal to send nude shrek to state senators, it'll pass.

[–] Guamer@hexbear.net 23 points 3 days ago

Small Domino: Jeffrey Katzenberg quits Disney in 1994

Big Domino:

[–] TheoryofChange@hexbear.net 21 points 3 days ago

Why isn't this posted in c/shrekland?

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 30 points 3 days ago

he was offended that it's such a low-quality picture of shrek's hog

[–] Moomoo_Milk@hexbear.net 21 points 3 days ago

The true measurement of freedom is whether or not you can send someone a picture of Shrek’s dick. Smdh

[–] CredibleBattery@hexbear.net 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

shrek-pixel-despair what is the charge? a tasteful risque? this is democracy. manifest.

[–] moss_icon@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago

GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY OGRE PENIS

[–] TheShamMirrors@lemmy.today 7 points 2 days ago

This is bullshit.

[–] jack@hexbear.net 3 points 2 days ago

digitally altered version of Shrek

thonk

[–] znonymous@hexbear.net 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Which websites host such images on the Internet? So I can avoid them, of course.

Is posting ogre hog praxis?