this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] arotrios@lemmy.world 144 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] msage@programming.dev 4 points 2 weeks ago

It has just the most adorable face

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 63 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (5 children)

A four inch hole has a surface area of 12.57 square inches and one seven inches across has a surface area of 38.48 square inches and this means three of them can pass through your ass at the same time without risking damage to your sphincter.

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] HeHoXa@lemmy.zip 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

They did the monster math!

The monster math

[–] HeHoXa@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

It was the salesman's path!

The monster math

[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
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[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago

Too much time determining if you could. Not enough time asking if you should.

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 3 points 2 weeks ago

Came here for the math.

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[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 39 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

Almost two racoons so far

[–] cattywampas@lemmy.world 27 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

That's gotta be circumference cause ain't no way that diameter is correct.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 24 points 2 weeks ago

Can't be. That'd be a diameter of only 2.228 inches. That's half a raccoon. Way too small.

[–] floquant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 2 weeks ago

Cherish your innocent eyes, the internet can be a nasty place.

[–] Cypher@aussie.zone 8 points 2 weeks ago

A bad dragon says you’re wrong!

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
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[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Almost two raccoons

This is where people get into trouble. They round up. They get sloppy.

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

They also forget to take into account not every raccoon gets along with every other raccoon. Ever had two raccoons fighting each other whole stuck side by side in your anus?! Not a great time

[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

Don't define what is or isn't a great time for me thank you

[–] DrBob@lemmy.ca 18 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Leather@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

No one ever just shows up at the Olympics and gets a gold...

The untrained human ass can stretch that far without damage, but with a little practice?

[–] ms_lane@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

No one ever just shows up at the Olympics and gets a gold...

[–] JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Leather@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Exactly! How much further could he have gone if he trained his asshole before hand?

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[–] itsjustachairmary@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

What you're telling me is I can comfortably house a raccoon up my ass. Why wouldn't I? In this housing market? I could be charging rent!

[–] Tiral@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 weeks ago

They can go steal shit after dark and give you some spoils.

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[–] lookitsjustin@lemmy.ca 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Anything but the metric system.

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[–] ILikeStupidMemes@lemmy.zip 13 points 2 weeks ago

Sly cooper in my pooper

[–] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

How many badgers is that? Asking for a friend.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I have to know what they define as "taking damage" because there's possibility for tearing even with a fraction of that size.

[–] gastroglizzy@piefed.social 8 points 2 weeks ago

Small numbers begin appearing out of thin air. A red bar drains slowly.

[–] MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 weeks ago

The key to doing this is to put the raccoons in serially. You just can't put them in at the same time.

[–] lyralycan@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 weeks ago

*without training

[–] TargaryenTKE@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Almost as unsettling as having 37 open tabs. Like, I've been there before, and it's never turned out well 😆

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

My tabs counter usually just makes this face :o

Edit : went to check. Ive got exactly 37 atm. Had to do a little research to make sure OP isnt me on carbon monoxide

[–] 0x0@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 weeks ago

Mine's constantly showing ∞.

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[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 weeks ago

You mean 438 open tabs?

[–] 0x0@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 weeks ago

I knew there was a reason 26.04 is called Rancid Racoon.

[–] iusemybrain@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

with the power of god and anime on my side I could easily fit three racoon's up my ass.

[–] GrantUsEyes@piefed.zip 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"There was talk of gerbils,"

Iykyk

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[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

37 tabs? They must have researched this thoroughly.

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How the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?

[–] BigBoyShuanzee@aussie.zone 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Ohh that's why. I had three raccoons and a lot of time on my plate..

Please don't ask me any follow up questions.

[–] myyass@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Perfect post for my user name.

[–] Ghosts_Are_Real@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 weeks ago

Is this with our without lube?

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