this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 5 hours ago

A paradox!

This is either fake or gay, but it can not be both even though it is a green text.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 4 points 8 hours ago

Refused to believe that even green texters are that unaware. If it were just writing about the realisation about their sexuality whatever, but to end it with "I'm not homosexual" is just unrealistic.

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 5 points 16 hours ago

true and gay

[–] aldhissla@piefed.world 61 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Here's my biggest pet peeve (relevant to the scenario): the cancelling of bi-folk. There is a forced dichotomy of men being either hetero- or homosexual, with homoerotic choices somehow automatically negating all heteroerotic choices by framing them as perfidy (i.e. pretending to be heterosexual to pass in society).

Freddie Mercury was bi. NOT GAY. Bi. I have no issue with gays revering him. I do have issues with gays trying to deny his heteroromantic side (see Mary Austin).

Rant over.

[–] HerbGrower@slrpnk.net 5 points 17 hours ago

Society views bisexual men as secretly gay, and women as secretly straight.

[–] Bristlecone@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago

Least represented group of lgbt, but probably the largest. People love binary things

[–] Krejga@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 day ago

I always felt that it's just homophobia. The heteroerotic choices of bisexuals are disregarded because of the lost purity of being considered 'straight'. You can have heterosexual preferences but according to heteronormative society you fit outside this group. It will take time for Bisexuality to be better understood by society and for bisexuals to fully be seen as a distinct group

[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] HoopyFrood@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 day ago

There was no denial that Freddy Mercury engaged in sexual relationships with men, but those relationships should not delegitimize or downplay his relationships with women by insinuating that any relations with a man make him gay and only engaging with women to fit in.

[–] Boozilla@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

My nonexpert understanding is, few people are 100% straight or 100% gay. And it can shift over time, too.

There's so much defensive BS around what people are into / aroused by. I'm not saying everyone should share everything to everyone all the time. But I really wish folks would be less fearful about what they like.

As long as you aren't attracted to kids, corpses, or animals, I think everything else is probably OK. Even couches, if that's your thing.

[–] chrislowles@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 day ago
[–] KoalaUnknown@lemmy.world 74 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)
[–] echodot@feddit.uk 1 points 8 hours ago

They never ask the question they just insist that they're not.

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 87 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Or, hear me out, sometimes dudes are bi.

[–] schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 days ago (3 children)

What are people's opinion on the downlow thing, otherwise straight men that just have furtive sex with other men, but never a relationship? Denial? Indiscriminate horniness?

[–] Forester@pawb.social 3 points 17 hours ago

That's called heteroromantic and bisexual

[–] jaycifer@lemmy.world 35 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (6 children)
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[–] gwl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 day ago

I'm okay with it if they don't hide it, but if they hide it that's not cool

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 33 points 1 day ago

Fake: Didn't say "no homo".

Gay: Didn't say "no homo".

[–] SuDmit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 39 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] antonim@lemmy.world 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I already know how sunsets look, yet I can look and marvel at them on every evening.

[–] SuDmit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Yeah, absolutely. I usually get to see them once a week or rarer, so beautiful sometimes. Sadly phone camera does not capture them well enough. Still, seen them!

I've just seen same joke in the past and liked it, decided to do it here. Though I see more generalized versions of the same in the comments too. Efficiency.

Seen replies about bi-erasure and homophobia... Yeah... Not that funny now.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 104 points 2 days ago (1 children)

>be me
>be not gay
>having sex with my loving husband of 15 years
>I identify as a cis male
>our penises touch when I slip out of his asshole on a slow thrust
>we lock eyes
>I say no homo
>he doesn’t reciprocate
>ejaculates as he continues silently staring into my eyes
>I pull out and exhaustedly crawl to the bathroom to think things through and remove a meter of silicon
>can feel his eyes scanning me without even turning around

Bros, I don’t know what to do. Should I tell our kids?

[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 23 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Remove a meter of silicon?

[–] Limonene@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

silicon_crystal_boule.jpeg

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 days ago

Exaggerated butt stuff

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[–] Ypsilenna@lemmy.zip 87 points 2 days ago

I knew exactly where it was going the second I read the first sentence, lol

[–] Sonotsugipaa@lemmy.dbzer0.com 76 points 2 days ago (1 children)

fake: anon has a wholesome friendship
gay: ... I'm not too sure actually, I'll need some help on this one

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 37 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I think it's the bit where they ordered a pizza

[–] Sonotsugipaa@lemmy.dbzer0.com 31 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Might be, I have a gay friend and he once ordered a pizza so that tracks

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 day ago

That makes sense. I'm pretty sure there's a ton of gay porn that starts with a pizza delivery boy

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[–] DerEnder@lemmus.org 53 points 2 days ago
[–] Ekybio@lemmy.world 44 points 2 days ago

Guy is Homiesexual

[–] devaly@ani.social 30 points 2 days ago (1 children)

maybe Anon is just starving for any non-animal sexual relationship

[–] Cethin@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 days ago

Humans are animals, but I get your point.

[–] Shirow@lemmy.zip 25 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Now I want pizza and yuri :3

[–] kivihiili@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

if this is about girls love in general then hell yeah!! you should absolutely get some pizza and some girl(s) and go at it as soon as is practical.

if this is an attempt to flirt with us over the web, we don't do that stuff. thank you for your understanding (^o^)

[–] Shirow@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

No it wasn't an attempt to flirt. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

It was meant as girls love in general :3

[–] kivihiili@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

haha no worries, thank you for clarifying.

funnily enough lines based on the form of "would you like to make the yuri version of [something] a reality?" work surprisingly well for getting with other girls, both in our experiences and those of friends. use that information as you will x3

[–] onionsinmypores@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It's really challenging when the post starts out with a declaration of not being gay, proceeds to describe activities which might potentially be gay, and then ends with a redeclaration of anon being not gay.

maybe it is fake, but is anon gay or no???

[–] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Might be potentially gay?! Idk, a man having romantic sex with another man is pretty much the definition of gay, if you ask me. Doesn't get much gayer.

[–] Varesti@lemmy.zip 16 points 2 days ago (3 children)

What kind of pizza was it?

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