"And why was God a swan?"
this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2026
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“I baked you a pie, Mary”
Your underage wife
Joseph. The most in-denial man in history.
Hey man don't kinkshame
The O.G. cuck.
* The OMG cuck
Not just the ass, but the oxen and sheep, too!
Fun fact, the Nicine Creed exists because this question was a legitimate crisis of Christianity. The council of Nicaea determined that Jesus was not created by God but rather "begotten", meaning he was equivalent but not the same as God
JK Rowling level of world building
Yeesh,what an illustration of the goofy bullshit people make up to avoid fixing what's actually wrong with their belief systems...
Oh, sure. Mock Christianity. But no one bats an eye when Tolkien retcons half of The Hobbit and gives an excuse like "well the book is written by Bilbo and he lied at first".
What's the retcon in the hobbit?
The ring was just a magic ring. And other stuff.
Well, IIRC The Hobbit was initially just a collection of bedtime fairy tales he made up for his children, of course it had inconsistencies.
Actually, thinking about it, that seems like a plausible source of the Old Testament as well...
"Damn the boy..."
I don't remember anyone telling me that bilbo was the son of God, so I think we can hold different yardsticks here.
Well of course not. Samwise was the incarnation of all that is good, loyal, and holy. Bilbo was just a prophet.
He also does say it's fiction, no?
Most stories are fiction until some fool believes it hard enough.
I dont think so. The hobbit+lord of the rings are "Tolkien's translation of the red book written by Bilbo and Frodo into English" (not a direct quote). Middle earth is our earth and our history.
I don't think he said "its real bro trust me" like the book of Mormon, but "its real in a fictional real world"
The difference is that, afaik, Christianity has people that believes that Bible is NOT fiction, while nobody thinks that The Hobbit is a historical book.
while nobody thinks that The Hobbit is a historical book.
...yet
Well, I give you that point...
BUT I HAVE A BETTER ONE: •
I mean, The Hobbit was primarily written to be a children’s bedtime story. The fact that adults latched onto it was sort of an accident. Tolkien was primarily a linguist, not a writer. He developed several fake languages, and wanted an excuse to use them. So he did a ton of world building, just to have a reason to write song lyrics in elvish and dwarven.
Not even merging neutron stars can approach the mental gymnastics of the religious. Magnetars all be like, “Dude! Can’t handle it.”
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When you cuckslurp after god you get certain powers and also sainthood
Joseph is a saint?
As an atheist from what I picked up over the years: yes.
Well shit, I sure fuckin hope so. Better be some dopeass fuckin primo certain powers, too, right up there with the motherfuckin seraphim and shit. None of that “shooting spaghetti out of my fingertips” horseshit. If you’re being rude, I can shoot a laser out of my cock.
Well maybe he couldn't the way he does it.
Once you've fucked the Holy Ghost you know where the magic happens. Definitely not with the village carpenter.
Sorry Joseph I have to cuck you with your virgin wife. I swear this isn't some fantasy of mine
Consistency? Nah! Kind of like Christianity is actually three belief systems in s trenchcoat.
With some sprinkles of other religions traditions
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