this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2026
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It's 1992. Your mom just took you through the Dairy Queen drive in after supper. It was 30C today, and it's going to be 35C tomorrow. You're going to go swimming at the local outdoor pool with your mom, little brother, auntie and favourite cousin, tomorrow though. Mom will probably put on that Blue Rodeo tape on the way back. It's not your favorite, but you find yourself waiting for the song hooks.

Life is simple and life is good.

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[–] iocase@lemmy.zip 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

You're in the middle of death valley in a heat wave.

It's hotter than Venus outside.

Your mom turns the AC on low.

The weapons grade CFCs—now banned by the Geneva convention—form icicles on your eyebrows in seconds.

[–] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

One of the weird problems car guys ran into in the 1990's was cars with non-functional R12 A/C. If you had one that had lost it's gas, that was it unless you could find someone's forgotten stash of white cylinders or wanted to circulate high pressure propane in front of and around an internal combustion engine.

Nowadays it's easy enough to change it over to R134a.

[–] lengau@midwest.social 1 points 6 days ago

The average new car weighs more than the famously heavy Oldsmobile 98.

[–] shittydwarf@piefed.ca 111 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Pretty sure this car had more ashtrays than it did safety features too

[–] The_Lurker@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

My Olds 98 had bench seats and separate lap and shoulder belts. The steel bumpers extended 3 feet under the car. It was 2 1/2 tons of steel. The steering wheel would not collapse under an impact. The car could survive Armageddon. It could plow through lesser cars (because the brakes were bad). But I would end up impaled on the steering column.

Fit 8 comfortably tho. 7 miles to the gallon...

[–] Sergio@piefed.social 38 points 1 week ago (2 children)

hey if it's in a crash, the CAR's gonna survive. Anyone in it? that's another story...

[–] infinitesunrise@slrpnk.net 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] CocaineShrimp@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I bet you haven't seen what the orcas have been up to this week

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[–] SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

And it will crash because it handles like a boat

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 9 points 1 week ago

It definitely had some in the doors.

[–] Steve@startrek.website 5 points 1 week ago

The ashtray is a safety feature.

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[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 61 points 1 week ago (2 children)

You could drunk drive into a brick wall at forty-five miles an hour and the only damage would be yourself smeared all over the inside of it.

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 35 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

You'd end up with the steering column through your chest because crumple zones didn't exist. https://youtu.be/fPF4fBGNK0U

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 41 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I think we are saying the same thing.

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

We are. Sorry. It's early and I misread.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

It’s like 2pm!

Damn lazy hippies sleeping all day.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Dude, it's like 5:30pm. The east coast is just waking up. It's early.

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[–] Serinus@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

And that steering column turns out fine.

[–] BCsven@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I had an old Malibu, and I was backing into an alley and a telephone pole was somehow out of my vision. I hit it full force with the rear bumper. Got out and the chrome was still perfect, and no dent in the bumper...but wow what a jolt.

[–] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You're probably really lucky that you were reversing and had the entire seat to cushion you.

[–] BCsven@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago

The entire bench seat :)

[–] WanderWisley@lemmy.world 48 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The emissions acts really forced a lot of painful innovation. Engines like the Cadillac HT 4000 went to aluminum blocks, or we utterly throttled by shitty computers and carbourator tuning.

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[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Hasn't the weight of cars been increasing? Pick a model and track the curb weight over generations. It seems to be going up.

[–] Telodzrum@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Except for EVs (which are heavy af because of the batteries) curb weight is down significantly from the 70s to today. It has been steadily trending upwards, but slowly, since around 2012. It’s hard to make a car as heavy as they used to be back when everything was steel and weld joints. Engines were bigger back then too — because they were less efficient.

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Thanks for the input. Is there a model of car we can use to show this trend? I tried doing it with a VW Golf, but that just showed the upward trend.

[–] Telodzrum@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (4 children)

https://www.consumeraffairs.com/automotive/average-car-weight.html

Here’s an article about it. Thanks for making me look it up, it has an important little fact at the top, which is the pickups have trended steadily upward over that same period which I didn’t know. However, other vehicle types have trended steadily downwards, and are still below their previous figures.

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[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's mostly that the old American land yachts are no longer as big. Look at the fifth generation Lincoln Continental vs any after it. Or the 1960s Cadillac Eldorado, a 2.2 ton 2 door car

European and Asian cars have been trending up in size meanwhile but there have been instances where a new generation model is lighter than the old one due to the materials used.

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[–] SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip 8 points 1 week ago

Seriously. This is a 10th generation Oldsmobile 98, with a 4,000 pounds curb weight. That puts it in the same range as smaller crossover SUVs these days.

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'd like to take a moment to dispel some of the claims being made in this comment thread.

Modern cars are significantly more reliable than older cars by virtually every measurable metric. They are unquestionably more difficult to work on, but they also break down far less often.

The safety features on modern vehicles are light-years ahead of anything available in the '80s or '90s. Emissions are also dramatically lower than they were back then.

A lot of people in the comments have already pointed this out.

That said, older cars were undeniably easier to work on in many respects.

[–] anon_8675309@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Older cars could survive a wreck while their occupants didn’t. Newer cars are designed to protect the occupants by destroying themselves.

[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It's a real Facebook Boomer meme to show a picture of a fifty year old car that's been in a crash with a modern car with the caption "see what we lost they dont make them like they used to?" but totally ignoring that the people in the BeigeWagon were turned into lasagna while the passengers of the Wokemobile will complete their journey with bruises and a taxi.

[–] MML@sh.itjust.works 1 points 6 days ago

IDK why (I mean I guess cause he was a good teacher) but our drivers ed teacher taught us about crumple zones and all other sorts of things, there were 8 weeks of classroom instruction in high school whether you were planning on driving or not.

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[–] terranoid@lemmy.cafe 25 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It's 1992. Your mom takes you to Dairy Queen in her oldsmobile. She lights up a cigarette. She asks if you want one. You say no. She says stop acting like such a pussy. You take the cigarette. She lights it for you.

[–] urushitan@kakera.kintsugi.moe 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

She throws her empty bud can out the window and hands you two dollars to get a blizzard

[–] nullspace@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

You walk into the Dairy Queen. A group of teenagers are smoking in a booth. One of them ashes their cigarette into a Dairy Queen-branded ashtray on the table.

[–] psycotica0@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago

Smoke up, Johnny!

[–] LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz 12 points 1 week ago

1984 LTD Crown Victoria, White with red velour interior. I closed that door (which looks a lot like this door) on my hand and it locked. Mom had already gone inside and there i was screaming bloody murder in the front yard. She eventually came out and unlocked the door and got me out. Somehow it didn't break my hand, probly because children are made of rubber or something. Theres no point to this other than sharing my unlocked PTSD that this image unlocked.

[–] kaklerbitmap@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (4 children)

It's 1992. Your mom just took you through the Dairy Queen drive in after supper. It was 30C today, and it's going to be 35C tomorrow, but you're an American child in 1992 and have no idea what that means in Freedom Units.

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[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hey man I had a 1967 Plymouth Newport that had to have 454 engine just haul the car around. Fucker was tank on wheels.

[–] Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That would have been a 440 engine. General Motors made the 454.

I used to have a 69 Newport. Loved that car.

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[–] PapaStevesy@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

And it smelled like 20-year-old cigarette smoke

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[–] Sergio@piefed.social 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Suckers to the side
I know you hate
my 98!!!
YOU GONNA GET YOURS!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oShfZ0kNqJM

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 5 points 1 week ago

This guy gets it

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