this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] EvilBit@lemmy.world 98 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I can explain. The kid ordered everything on theirs, the parent ordered nothing but meat, rice, sour cream, cheese, and extra victim complex.

[–] operationalHazard@lemmy.zip 26 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Ratlimit is a notorious ragebaiter, the posts are actually quite good IMO when you know they're bait

[–] EvilBit@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Noted , thanks!

[–] iocase@lemmy.zip 19 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

The constipation-inator.

[–] EvilBit@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Wh… where can I get one of those?

[–] iocase@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 days ago

Yeah I felt the same way. My puzzle senses tingled when I first saw it

[–] emeralddawn45@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Toppings and complex flavor profiles are a gateway to other forms of complexity, like complex thought and self-awareness. Dad doesn't want that kind of liberal propaganda being fed to him.

[–] Vespair@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I know we're joking but like I swear there's at least a little actual true to this

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 day ago

There's a lot of truth to it. I have a brother who won't eat anything that looks too "foreign."

Unless it course it's one of those things that someone's actually convinced him to try and he liked, so it forever achieves "one of the good ones" status...

[–] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 108 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If he’s so liberal, how come his burrito is on the right, hmm?

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

Turning point burritos...

...tacos Al pastor?

[–] lime@feddit.nu 59 points 2 days ago (4 children)

"visibly liberal" == no hat?

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 53 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 43 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 17 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I'd like to throw my entry into the ring

Pride Punisher

[–] noli@lemmy.zip 13 points 2 days ago

That shirt goes hard

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[–] DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I dunno man, I see a lot of conservative Republicans out there that also love cock.

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Yes yes but they campaign cock=bad in public, but do cock=good in private

[–] DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago

They love it only if it's poking out of a glory hole.

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[–] lyralycan@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago

Probably a woman

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[–] DoubleDongle@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

As a queer liberal millennial and a professional carpenter who may present very clearly either way depending on context, I would like to point out that the cops also do this but the other way around. You win some, you lose some.

[–] Archimedes@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You're checking a lot of intersections there, I bet you get massive burritos.

[–] DoubleDongle@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

If I play my cards right, I can get the big burrito AND get let off with a warning. I just can't wear cute shorts while committing acts of mischief, and washing up before hitting the taco shack may be advised.

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is that a rock?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 39 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That's a burrito? From the opened bit, I thought it was a big russet potato.

[–] toynbee@piefed.social 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That's a particular kind of wrap. Or at least particularly prepared.

If you get a burrito in that wrap you know you're in for a good time followed by at least several hours of groaning and hating yourself. Then wanting another.

[–] absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

followed by at least several hours of groaning and hating yourself

What the hell are they putting in their food?

[–] toynbee@piefed.social 4 points 2 days ago

Not a lot of self control, I can tell you that.

[–] socsa@piefed.social 5 points 1 day ago

The burrito artist took pity on your fat ass.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 day ago

care to explain?

Yeah. You should eat it.

[–] fonix232@fedia.io 27 points 2 days ago

Clearly Chipotle thought your liberal son can handle more meat than you.

[–] historicaldocuments@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago

I know this is a shitpost, but here's the explanation: you can't force people to like you.

You may get off on power trips going to businesses where people aren't allowed to deny you service or return bad attitude in kind, but everywhere else you're a $1000/hour with a forty hour minimum payment in advance work starts after the check clears kind of guy.

[–] some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

"Visibly liberal", AKA: younger, healthier weight, healthier skin, doesn't look like a leather bag that was forgotten in the sun?

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 2 points 1 day ago

I think if you don't immediately start shooting into the air when you walk in that's a big giveaway

[–] unmagical@lemmy.ml 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Left just got a meat burrito, right actually asked for stuff?

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)

No rice, no beans, beef with red sauce. wtf why isn’t my burrito with one ingredient huge??

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 5 points 2 days ago

None of that foreign stuff for me! Why does my food taste like bland shit?

[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Went to Chipotle with my wife a few years back (I dont really care for it, pretty bland) and this is the same sort of disparity between mine (left) and hers (right). Also I'm considerably more left thank she is, for what that is worth.

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[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

if i knew purple hair meant bigger burrito, i would had dyed already

[–] user1234@fedinsfw.app 9 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Those look more like potatoes than burritos

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[–] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Archimedes@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago

Be sure to dress visibly liberal!

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago

Explained: Fascist is a lower class.

[–] Fishnoodle@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

They figured you had chugged so much dick lately that you didn't have as much room.

[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 days ago

Don’t you tell them exactly what to put in your burrito?

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