this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

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[–] edinbruh@feddit.it 157 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I see three pairs of a kind, I win.

[–] edinbruh@feddit.it 3 points 1 month ago

☝️You, probably

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Also a pair of a pair of scissors.

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[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 94 points 1 month ago
[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 64 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] 69420@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago

Scissor me timbers

[–] orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 month ago

I've adopted the phrase "lip reading" to replace "scissoring."

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

A queer of scissors

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A pair of pairs of scissors.

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 8 points 1 month ago

A pair squared of scissors

[–] peetabix@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 month ago

2 pairs of scissors

[–] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)
[–] Katana314@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

On the right is Two Pair, but you should know that it still gets trumped by Three of a Kind.

[–] Transparent_knoll@awful.systems 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

3 pair or even a flush of scissors is still beaten by a singular rock however.

[–] Katana314@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I remember one time that I got a flush of scissors, and then my dad beat me for clogging the toilet.

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[–] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] Homo_Erectus@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] Dnb@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago

Exactly like playing cards

[–] veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

A pair of pair of scissors

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

A quartet of scissors.

[–] Underwaterbob@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I teach ESL, and this kinda shit in the English language drives me nuts. It's impossible to explain. Just gotta know it. The worst is when you're asking questions. "What's this?" for single things. "What are these?" for multiples. HTF do you explain that you have to know to ask "What are these?" when you're asking about pants or scissors. They're literally asking what those things are. It's bizarre.

[–] Bluewing@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Just blame the French for things like this. Your students will be like "Oh that explains it" and move on to the next nonsensical thing they need to learn.

Every language has it's "you just gotta know" moments. Like German. Not too hard until you start getting into technical reading and speech. Just how many words can you glue together? And why?

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[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It is impossible to intuit, but you just introduce "pair of pants" as the singular article. Thus, two pants are "two pairs of pants."

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[–] pigup@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Mind was blown when I was learning about an xray-based microfabrication technique. Where the x-rays are known to scise (to cut) polymer molecules.

It took me several years to realize that scissors are tools that scise things. They are prolific scise-ers.

[–] Bratosch@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Pair of scissorses

[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Pairs of scissors, obviously.

Which 4, or 17, or 249, or 17843368 etc would also reasonably be called.

[–] ZkhqrD5o@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Scissors^2^

[–] icelimit@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 month ago

That's clearly four scissors.

[–] fleebleneeble@reddthat.com 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] lime@feddit.nu 6 points 1 month ago

four scissors

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Pair of pairs of scissors.

[–] Epzillon@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

From the recent Tom Scott upload I learned a group of ferrets are called "a business". We need more silly names to refer to multiple items. The layered parody of a pair of a pair of scissors is indeed tickling my silly bone.

[–] Sylvartas@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And a group of velvet worms is called "a cuddle". Idk who comes up with these but I like them.

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[–] Chee_Koala@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

It's a troupe of scissors!

[–] CannedYeet@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

One time my grandmother gave me two pears. She said, "Here's your two pears". I said, "This is just one pair" and we went back forth a bit before she got it.

[–] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 month ago

Good on you for pushing the issue.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

four candles please

[–] zarathustrad@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Scissor Sisters.

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

If there’s a boy pair of scissors there, and a girl pair of scissors there, then it’s a brace of pairs of scissors.

Obv.

English is very straightforward.

[–] Zephyr@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago (5 children)
[–] robocall@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)
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[–] vivalapivo@lemmy.today 4 points 1 month ago

Attempted murder

[–] Okokimup@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago
[–] benderbeerman@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It's 2 per, as in:

Give me 2 per Cuz I need two per

[–] Prok@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

A pair of pair of scissors

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