this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] edinbruh@feddit.it 157 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I see three pairs of a kind, I win.

[–] edinbruh@feddit.it 3 points 2 months ago

☝️You, probably

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Also a pair of a pair of scissors.

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[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 94 points 2 months ago
[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 64 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] 69420@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago

Scissor me timbers

[–] orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 months ago

I've adopted the phrase "lip reading" to replace "scissoring."

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

A queer of scissors

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

A pair of pairs of scissors.

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 8 points 2 months ago

A pair squared of scissors

[–] peetabix@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 months ago

2 pairs of scissors

[–] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)
[–] Katana314@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago (2 children)

On the right is Two Pair, but you should know that it still gets trumped by Three of a Kind.

[–] Transparent_knoll@awful.systems 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

3 pair or even a flush of scissors is still beaten by a singular rock however.

[–] Katana314@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I remember one time that I got a flush of scissors, and then my dad beat me for clogging the toilet.

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[–] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] Homo_Erectus@lemmy.zip 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Dnb@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 months ago

Exactly like playing cards

[–] veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

A pair of pair of scissors

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

A quartet of scissors.

[–] Underwaterbob@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 months ago (5 children)

I teach ESL, and this kinda shit in the English language drives me nuts. It's impossible to explain. Just gotta know it. The worst is when you're asking questions. "What's this?" for single things. "What are these?" for multiples. HTF do you explain that you have to know to ask "What are these?" when you're asking about pants or scissors. They're literally asking what those things are. It's bizarre.

[–] Bluewing@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Just blame the French for things like this. Your students will be like "Oh that explains it" and move on to the next nonsensical thing they need to learn.

Every language has it's "you just gotta know" moments. Like German. Not too hard until you start getting into technical reading and speech. Just how many words can you glue together? And why?

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[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It is impossible to intuit, but you just introduce "pair of pants" as the singular article. Thus, two pants are "two pairs of pants."

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[–] pigup@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Mind was blown when I was learning about an xray-based microfabrication technique. Where the x-rays are known to scise (to cut) polymer molecules.

It took me several years to realize that scissors are tools that scise things. They are prolific scise-ers.

[–] Bratosch@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Pair of scissorses

[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Pairs of scissors, obviously.

Which 4, or 17, or 249, or 17843368 etc would also reasonably be called.

[–] ZkhqrD5o@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Scissors^2^

[–] icelimit@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 months ago

That's clearly four scissors.

[–] fleebleneeble@reddthat.com 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] lime@feddit.nu 6 points 2 months ago

four scissors

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Pair of pairs of scissors.

[–] Epzillon@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

From the recent Tom Scott upload I learned a group of ferrets are called "a business". We need more silly names to refer to multiple items. The layered parody of a pair of a pair of scissors is indeed tickling my silly bone.

[–] Sylvartas@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And a group of velvet worms is called "a cuddle". Idk who comes up with these but I like them.

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[–] Chee_Koala@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

It's a troupe of scissors!

[–] CannedYeet@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)

One time my grandmother gave me two pears. She said, "Here's your two pears". I said, "This is just one pair" and we went back forth a bit before she got it.

[–] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 months ago

Good on you for pushing the issue.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago

four candles please

[–] zarathustrad@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Scissor Sisters.

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

If there’s a boy pair of scissors there, and a girl pair of scissors there, then it’s a brace of pairs of scissors.

Obv.

English is very straightforward.

[–] Zephyr@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago (5 children)
[–] robocall@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (2 children)
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[–] vivalapivo@lemmy.today 4 points 2 months ago

Attempted murder

[–] Okokimup@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago
[–] benderbeerman@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

It's 2 per, as in:

Give me 2 per Cuz I need two per

[–] Prok@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

A pair of pair of scissors

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