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My vehicle is also inoperable so I'd need to use their car too which would be oooouughh owie fuck
But i cannot lie about it - ive already been a habitual liar my entire life so I need to be truthful but im so fucking terrified rn
They'll be like "woah this is so sudden" as if I didnt start thinking about this like halfway through puberty and i already came out to them once before and it went poorly and i turbo repressed after that
Gruh. Buh. Fuck. Grugh. Buh. Glug. Slug. Fuck.
A partner that doesn't accept you is no partner.
I repressed. I tried hard. For my partner. Cause I was afraid. It doesn't work. It sucks. It isnt fair to you. It isnt fair to your partner. It isnt fair to anyone. You deserve to be yourself. You deserve to exist. It isnt easy, and many of us have been there and can affirm that it sucks. But its a leap worth taking.
It isnt fair to you. It isnt fair to your partner. It isnt fair to anyone
I put off transitioning because I was worried how it would affect my relationship. But all it made me was a sad and unhappy partner. We ultimately did separate (which transition was a factor, but far more complicated and interwoven), but they've been supportive of my transition and we are friends, it's rough at times, but so much better than the alternative.
There are several ways how this can play out. Some of them are easier than others, but there is no way where you want to transition for 6 years and find a way to resolve that without actually transitioning. It plain does not happen. Maybe your partner is supportive and you make it through your transition together, maybe your partner tries to be supportive and fails, maybe you break up and you find a new partner in your new life. That's unpredictable. What is predictable is that going on without HRT will slowly destroy you.
This. Avoiding failure wonβt bring success. It will just crush you under the weight of contradiction.
Please try, repression is no life. It's no way to build a relationship on. Either they accept it, or they won't.
I repressed myself for two decades due to fear of coming out to my partner. It was not worth it. I suffered, she suffered, we broke up, and then we both finally started working on ourselves and addressing our traumas. A few years later and we're happier than we've ever been and still close friends. All of this could have happened a dozen or more years earlier. You can't predict the future and there's no reason to deny yourself for an unknowable future. Do what you need to do to live as close to your true self as possible.
Shit sucks and is unfair but you have to do it. You have to.
Repping breaks you. Start hrt, please
Look I can't tell you how to live but I know a lot of people who wish they started transitioning earlier and no people who wish they'd waited or are glad they decided not to.
Partners drift apart for all sorts of reasons, you can't guarantee you'll be in a happy and fulfilled relationship if you don't but if you've felt this way since puberty then you can probably guarantee that you'll feel this way in 10 years. Do you want to live with that?
You're going to eventually break and transition, might as well do it now instead of later
you can do it! it's terrifying for sure but the prize at the end is that you get to live as yourself.
You absolutely have to tell them. I am dealing with finally being aware that I am in fact a sexual being. And its been awful and amazing at the same time. The problem is I might be poly, gay, bi straight, who knows, but I'm in a long term presumed monogamous relationship.
If I were to go out and explore my sexuality without talking to my partner that would be cheating. If I am open and honest, it's likely we can work through it. If I'm not, its bound to end our relationship.
The same goes for you. If you care about your relationship, you have to tell them about it. It will be difficult. But you can't ignore who you are. It will be much, much worse. Don't repress yourself for decades like I did. It's not worth it.
Good luck <3
as others have said, its not fair to you or your partner