this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2026
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Chapotraphouse

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[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 40 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I'm super excited for this. With just 100 transplants, I can have the largest foreskin on Earth. A weighted blanket wherever I go.

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Soon I will be able to shield my eyes from negativity like yours. Guess why.

[–] DogThatWentGorp@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Really excited about my paragliding potential they said I'll have after foreskin #300 gets installed.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 21 points 1 month ago

You know that worm from Dune? That's what I want for me.

[–] FloridaBoi@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago

Feels like a minor supe from The Boys

[–] chgxvjh@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

For that you really want the tanuki ball sack transplant

[–] DogThatWentGorp@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago

Why not both?

[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Remember that post about the Olympics where people were injecting silicone into their dicks to give them more circumference because each % increase in girth yielded a proportional increase in ski jump distance?

happybadger's foreskin will soon provide enough additional circumference and aerodynamic lift to exceed orbital velocity. we're going to beat SpaceX to Mars on the backs of pig foreskins and sheer gumption

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[–] Rom@hexbear.net 29 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] Lurkmore@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Is it bad I totally believed this?

[–] oliveoil@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago

This is the only one I've ever fallen for.

WS genuinely excited.

[–] RION@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It doesn't seem particularly far fetched? We do it with their heart valves after all

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

You can't do a xenotransplantation of living tissue, its immunogenic. The implanted heart valves are dead.

Using dead pig skin as a graft is just a worse version of a fish scale graft with way increased risk of infection. Even if it was possible (I don't know if it is) it would just be a worse version of an existing procedure

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[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago

new advancements in hog technology

[–] oliveoil@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago

So now you can literally jork your hog?

[–] Snort_Owl@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago

I want to turn myself into a flying squirrel

[–] asdasd201@lemmygrad.ml 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I wanted to ask why until I look at the source.

[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It's the foremost source of foreskin news, current affairs and commentary

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

god damn i almost ate the onion

[–] oliveoil@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

Nah, I swallowed it whole.

[–] Snort_Owl@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

Oh so thats what the onion is for

[–] redparadise@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Shouldn't this be in fake news?

[–] chgxvjh@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] redparadise@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago

No way in hell did I open hexbear to see this reply, only to get this:

This is worse than reddit I'm leaving goodbye bears.

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

damn i was kinda excited i wanted my luxury pussy to have elephant ears

[–] oliveoil@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago

Published: June 8, 2026

NEW YORK—Calling the breakthrough a significant step forward in xenotransplantation, New York University doctors confirmed Monday they had successfully transplanted a pig foreskin onto a circumcised human. “This successful operation proves that pig penises are a viable, long-term solution for circumcised patients in desperate need of working foreskin,” lead surgeon Robert Langford said of the procedure performed late last year, expressing hope that the new development in cross-species phallus grafts could help address the nearly 130 million Americans on the national waiting list to receive a foreskin donation. “We took porcine tissue from a specially bred, well-endowed pig and genetically edited the sample in order to reduce the chance that it would be rejected by the host penis. For the first time in history, we’ve been able to confirm without a doubt that renewed sensitivity and enhanced sexual pleasure can be safely transferred from pig to man. Imagine a world in which doctors can promise terminally circumcised patients a second chance at stimulation.” At press time, Dr. Langford announced that after a record 93 days, the penis had died.

Alt text: Turn your piss into gold. Unlock the hidden wealth stream.

Alt text: Turn your gold into piss. Liquidate your assets today.

[–] robotElder2@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

Doc is it supposed to uh... curl, like that?

[–] red_giant@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

this is taking anti-Zionism WAY TOO FAR

why not go the whole hog?

[–] darkmode@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

tossing the pigskin mean something different in my day

[–] PaulSmackage@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago

Gonna get myself a built in infinity scarf.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Will it actually restore the sensitivity tho?

[–] chgxvjh@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago

:sicko-pig:

Also known as swine or hog, pigs are considered a subspecies of Sus scrofa, the wild boar, although they’ve been domesticated since as early as 13,000 BC.

When the scrofa is sus stop-posting-amogus

[–] beanenjoyer@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

For the first time in history, we’ve been able to confirm without a doubt that renewed sensitivity and enhanced sexual pleasure can be safely transferred from pig to man.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago

Oh god damnit I didn't see this was an onion joke, got my hopes up!

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

Putting a new meaning to "post hog".

[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago
[–] DasRav@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago

The movie about this guy should be called "The Hog"

[–] LaughingLion@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

so there's hope yet....

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

Now THIS is hog-posting

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