"Sealions on the other side of the planet are sometimes mean, that is why my client needed to bash this one with a rock bigger than your head. Your honor."

[–] refolde@hexbear.net 21 points 3 days ago

It's even worse than that. "Sea lions on the other side of the planet are sometimes mean, so I will attack a Hawaiian monk seal, which isn't even a sea lion."

Anyways they deserve to die from asphyxiation by having a monk seal shove them up its nose.

[–] take_five_moments@hexbear.net 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

anti pinniped rhetoric

[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago

I thought the sentence would go "anti-pinniped rhetoric from cetacean supremacists"

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 19 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Seriously the seal was there first. Especially before dumbass NIMBY white people showed up.

[–] Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 days ago

Damn, that's an old seal.

[–] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I had to double-check to see if this was the Onion.

[–] PolarKraken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Ah but ya see, everything is The Onion. So nothing is The Onion.

onioncels absolutely julienned

[–] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

onioncels absolutely julienned

CARAMELIZE THEM! CARAMELIZE THEM!

[–] PolarKraken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 3 days ago

Truly, it is the only way. Make everything browner, I say.

[–] Collatz_problem@hexbear.net 4 points 2 days ago

We live in an onionpunk dystopia.

[–] Weedian@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago

Throwing rocks and provoking the wild animals I think are very aggressive

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Wait I thought the person who attacked the seal was a dude. Is the woman pictured his lawyer?

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 28 points 3 days ago (2 children)

No she's the anti sealion extremist politician I think its sealions? Either way she's obsessed with culling the population of some pinniped and using that word talks of the menace.

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 19 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Huh. That's crazy specific for a platform, but I guess it works, for some reason.

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Marie Gluesenkamp Perez is genuinely obsessed with the subject. Otherwise she's apparently a fairly standard blue dog.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago

[–] Blakey@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

she's the anti sealion extremist politician

what the fuck

[–] Collatz_problem@hexbear.net 1 points 2 days ago

Anti-nautilists will never have the same influence as pinniped haters.

[–] sleeplessone@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 days ago

Seattle man is angry that sea mammals keep JAQing off.