I swear when I was a child and saw the logo I thought this dude was oooooooooooooooolllllllllllldddddddddd. His face I recall crinkling with wrinkles in the TV ads when he smiled. But now he just looks normal, not ancient. Yeah he's got white hair but I'm pretty sure that's just those powdered wigs. Option 1: they made him look younger. Option 2: I am no longer 9 years old.
this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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he’s on oatzempic
The worst part of woke oats is that they took away his penis. Doesn't matter what kind of packaging you get- no more penis. You can't even compare the stats over breakfast because they don't list them anymore.
They/them oats
Here I thought that's what Kellogg's Corn Flakes were for
A balanced breakfast has both horny and anti-horny foods. Corn flakes are to suppress the person you became when eating oatmeal.
You got yer corn flakes and your horn flakes
Homie smiling like he just acquired your entire family with legal tinder at the slave auction.
I thought quakers were always abolitionists? or am I getting my American history mixed up here
No you're right. I was making a joke at the expense of the quakers because of the way they look. Quakers in real life at that time seem to be described as fucken based from what I have read and studied when I was in school.
Quakers come in separate camps. Some are awesome, like the Universal Public Friend. And then some are Richard Nixon.
Yeah I remember learning about the Friends and thinking, damn I'd hang out with these people. Also did not know Nixon was a Quaker, I was pretty sure he worshipped money.
There was a Quaker named Benjamin Lay who was a fuckin GANGSTER on the abolition tip, check this shit out:
https://aeon.co/essays/the-abolitionist-benjamin-lay-was-a-hero-ahead-of-his-time
(Disclaimer, no clue how that publisher aeon.co behaves in a general sense, I read that article back in 2018 and my own thinking about what's important to say and how has evolved a lot since then. In other words I'm not commenting on the quality of the wider site cuz I don't know, but this was a cool article about a cool dude)
Aeon is a pretty serious publication that presents a place for publishing academic or academic adjacent thought for a wider audience. They'll have essays written by all kinds of people from all over the world, so your mileage may vary by article, but as far as reliable and trustworthy publishers go, they're an excellent organization.
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This is one of the coolest dudes I have ever read about. Holy fucking shit. Am I torqued?
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John Brown was Quaker adjacent.
Thats all I needed to hear 🫡
Also BTW it is "legal tender" legal tinder sounds like they acquired their slaves on the most horrifying gig app of all time.
Alternatively, the slave was purchased with a bunch of dead twigs that were legally imported into the country.
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Lmao damn thank you, I knew there was a mistake there but English is dumb and I hardly respect it.
Yes it is a stupid language that deserves no respect I just had to share that cursed thought of Tinder for slaves.
And of course my brain made a meme image. Let's just leave that in the ol' locker forever.
Not always but they were very early to it for anglos
They were major slave traders in the beginning of the US but also the first major religious group to go abolitionist, I think. Land of contrasts.
This post title is tagline worthy.
The mods do not listen. They do not care. The only posts worthy of taglines are insults from other forums directed at Hexbear
@CARCOSA@hexbear.net hexbear turns its yassified eyes to you
Reminds me, is there a better way to submit taglines than tagging u? Maybe a dedicated comm like c/emoji? I could only find this post from years ago but it has no actionable advice
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They want you to want to fuck the oats
I was having a conversation with my partner about the parents of our kids friends. When I found out that one of them was 55 years old. I told my partner that when I was a kid 55 year olds weren’t this cute. They just told yeah you’re old. Fuck.
Average person just holds up better with proper nutrition / healthcare.
Also the decline in drinking and smoking means people look less old for their age these days.
My dad looks 20 years younger than how he looked 10 years ago lol. Healthcare / nutrition and sunblock are key
That's his face as he shows the entire city of Philadelphia his johnson.
Look what they did to my poor boy
Rounded his shoulders, made him look soft.
They did, but since the 50s he's been through stages of yassification, 2010s looks younger than 2000s which looks younger than 1950s.
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I almost posted this in badposting but it's not quite a joke
post this in badposting but the included image is a hyper-yassified Quaker Oats Guy with big boobs
Not a yank so I only have vague knowledge of this guy, but I do know that art styles can make a big difference.
I'm gonna guess it's a bit of both, everyone looks super old to a 9 year old and brands tend to try and make their logos less detailed over time
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