this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2026
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Chapotraphouse

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I swear when I was a child and saw the logo I thought this dude was oooooooooooooooolllllllllllldddddddddd.  His face I recall crinkling with wrinkles in the TV ads when he smiled.  But now he just looks normal, not ancient. Yeah he's got white hair but I'm pretty sure that's just those powdered wigs.  Option 1: they made him look younger.  Option 2: I am no longer 9 years old.

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[–] Spongebobsquarejuche@hexbear.net 40 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

You’re thinking of this old drunk

[–] Ildsaye@hexbear.net 21 points 2 days ago

This earlier picture has an expression like he's just been told again that you're his grandkid and he's doing his best to pretend he remembers. That lack of presence in his eyes kind of scared me as a kid.

[–] CrookedSerpent@hexbear.net 13 points 2 days ago

When I was a small child I called him the "haha man" because his step age expression made me so uneasy that I laughed nervously when I looked at it.

[–] CommunistCuddlefish@hexbear.net 11 points 2 days ago

Thank you, downright revisionist of their marketing team to gaslight me like that (joking, lest...)

[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 33 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 31 points 2 days ago (2 children)

The worst part of woke oats is that they took away his penis. Doesn't matter what kind of packaging you get- no more penis. You can't even compare the stats over breakfast because they don't list them anymore.

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 16 points 2 days ago

They/them oats

[–] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Here I thought that's what Kellogg's Corn Flakes were for

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

A balanced breakfast has both horny and anti-horny foods. Corn flakes are to suppress the person you became when eating oatmeal.

You got yer corn flakes and your horn flakes

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 25 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This post title is tagline worthy.

[–] Dessa@hexbear.net 8 points 2 days ago (4 children)

The mods do not listen. They do not care. The only posts worthy of taglines are insults from other forums directed at Hexbear

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Do you think the mods stay in heaven because they too fear what they have created on earth? minion-steve

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[–] Rom@hexbear.net 26 points 2 days ago
[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 24 points 2 days ago

They want you to want to fuck the oats

[–] Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 26 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Homie smiling like he just acquired your entire family with legal tinder at the slave auction.

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 23 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I thought quakers were always abolitionists? or am I getting my American history mixed up here

[–] Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 17 points 2 days ago (3 children)

No you're right. I was making a joke at the expense of the quakers because of the way they look. Quakers in real life at that time seem to be described as fucken based from what I have read and studied when I was in school.

[–] PolarKraken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (4 children)

There was a Quaker named Benjamin Lay who was a fuckin GANGSTER on the abolition tip, check this shit out:

https://aeon.co/essays/the-abolitionist-benjamin-lay-was-a-hero-ahead-of-his-time

(Disclaimer, no clue how that publisher aeon.co behaves in a general sense, I read that article back in 2018 and my own thinking about what's important to say and how has evolved a lot since then. In other words I'm not commenting on the quality of the wider site cuz I don't know, but this was a cool article about a cool dude)

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Aeon is a pretty serious publication that presents a place for publishing academic or academic adjacent thought for a wider audience. They'll have essays written by all kinds of people from all over the world, so your mileage may vary by article, but as far as reliable and trustworthy publishers go, they're an excellent organization.

[–] PolarKraken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 days ago

Nice, thanks for cluing me in! Sounds like high time for me to go do some browsing over there again.

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[–] axont@hexbear.net 20 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Quakers come in separate camps. Some are awesome, like the Universal Public Friend. And then some are Richard Nixon.

[–] Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 11 points 2 days ago

Yeah I remember learning about the Friends and thinking, damn I'd hang out with these people. Also did not know Nixon was a Quaker, I was pretty sure he worshipped money.

[–] Johnny_Arson@hexbear.net 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

John Brown was Quaker adjacent.

[–] Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Thats all I needed to hear 🫡

[–] Johnny_Arson@hexbear.net 11 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Also BTW it is "legal tender" legal tinder sounds like they acquired their slaves on the most horrifying gig app of all time.

[–] agentant@hexbear.net 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Alternatively, the slave was purchased with a bunch of dead twigs that were legally imported into the country.

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[–] Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Lmao damn thank you, I knew there was a mistake there but English is dumb and I hardly respect it.

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[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago

They were major slave traders in the beginning of the US but also the first major religious group to go abolitionist, I think. Land of contrasts.

[–] robotElder2@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago

Not always but they were very early to it for anglos

[–] Spongebobsquarejuche@hexbear.net 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I was having a conversation with my partner about the parents of our kids friends. When I found out that one of them was 55 years old. I told my partner that when I was a kid 55 year olds weren’t this cute. They just told yeah you’re old. Fuck.

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 15 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Average person just holds up better with proper nutrition / healthcare.

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 14 points 2 days ago

Also the decline in drinking and smoking means people look less old for their age these days.

[–] stink@lemmygrad.ml 7 points 2 days ago

My dad looks 20 years younger than how he looked 10 years ago lol. Healthcare / nutrition and sunblock are key

[–] CthulhusIntern@hexbear.net 13 points 2 days ago

That's his face as he shows the entire city of Philadelphia his johnson.

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 13 points 2 days ago (2 children)
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[–] tamagotchicowboy@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago (3 children)

They did, but since the 50s he's been through stages of yassification, 2010s looks younger than 2000s which looks younger than 1950s.

[–] blobjim@hexbear.net 9 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Bit of a Benjamin Button situation I guess

[–] tamagotchicowboy@hexbear.net 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I remember someone saying he was baby faced, must have been a time traveller.

[–] blobjim@hexbear.net 2 points 1 day ago

or maybe quaker oats guy is a time-travelling baby.

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[–] Dort_Owl@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago

Not a yank so I only have vague knowledge of this guy, but I do know that art styles can make a big difference.

I'm gonna guess it's a bit of both, everyone looks super old to a 9 year old and brands tend to try and make their logos less detailed over time

[–] CommunistCuddlefish@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I almost posted this in badposting but it's not quite a joke

[–] miz@hexbear.net 16 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

post this in badposting but the included image is a hyper-yassified Quaker Oats Guy with big boobs

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