Ask Lemmy

Next to last time was when I read an article about this video at work. Last time was when I got home and watched the video

Well, my mom died two weeks ago and my girlfriend of eight years left me this week, I suspect once the shock wears off the flood gates will open.

There's are two things.

My first girlfriend tricked me into getting her pregnant. My sister adopted our progeny. He turned eighteen a few months ago. He'd be well within his rights to hate me, but recently he's been reaching out to me. I've been reaching out to him, too, and he's responded. Every time we talk I want to cry from relief. I'm so happy he doesn't hate me.

The other is the only dog I've ever had whom I chose to put down. She was the best dog I'd ever met but her pancreas had failed. She wasn't eating and she was peeing blood, but what right did I have to decide her life was over? I hope I spared her some suffering.

Recently my nephew talked to me about my ex-dog. My goodness were there some emotions that night.

One of my kids said thank you for some work I did to help them.

It's hard being a parent. Even a little gratitude can go a long way.

Having to put down my beloved cat Buttons less than 24 hours ago. She was suffering and had been nearly catatonic the entire day after 5 years of well managed kidney disney. She was 17.

Best cat I've ever met. She slept in our bed, under blankets. Loved to be carried around and held, especially as she got older. Was chatty, loving and just the most wonderful kitty ever.

Trump survived another possible assassination attempt

Breakup after a 9 year relationship.

Found my depressed little brother going to his garden finding a bit of joy. It was so nice to see him better.

Like just a tear or two or full on weep? Because I would prefer not to dig in my memory for weeping, but just a tear or two? Cat claw in boob.

Worrying that my ADHD 8 yr old won’t have any friends that aren’t relatives because he is so weird with other kids and they lose patience with him.

Video on Gaza children

Speaking of games, ending of Outer Wilds.

Playing Clair Obscur: Expedition 33. Drawn in by the grandness of the story but it all came down to the one thing that hits close to home for most everyone

I've rewatched Andor a few times now. Quite a few scenes still hit me hard, even after knowing they're coming.

I could say the same for LotR also.

The scene in Blade Runner 2049: The moment he realizes the advertisement called him Joe and it was all a lie, and decides to do the right thing any way. Can't seem to find an unedited clip.
https://youtu.be/gX3bpVC7C14

Watching The Pitt, season 1 hit me in the gut

Six hours ago, I did my first round of IPL hair removal. It hurt so badly, I wept. The attendant who did the procedure was so amazingly kind and supportive emotionally that it made me cry even more. Sorry it wasn't a cry with deeper meaning. 🤣 For me it was deep, because it was my first step towards doing something - anything - for my body, of my own volition. 🩵

My partner's grandfather passing away last night

my cat died due to pericardial effusion. he was only 9.

the animal ER offered to save him, but it would have cost me $50,000.

Just getting him diagnosed and being in the ER half a day cost me $5,000.

before that probably 6 years ago when we had to put my mom in eldercare due to accelerated dementia. when she died it was a huge relief, because she was a huge burden and absolutely refused to participate in any self-care or treatment to make her life better, but that was who she was and so was my dad. both refused to ever take responsibility for their own physical and mental well-being.

Allergies

Telling my therapist that my birthday is coming up and I just wish there was one person besides my dad who would wish me a happy birthday or want to go hiking or something with me on my birthday but I don't have any friends or anyone in my life who would even know I have a birthday.

Lost my soul-dog to bone cancer at the end of February.

R.I.P. Ripley. Love you, baby-girl.

Okay so I cry about everything, but this year the thing that has made me cry the most (and most recently) is heated rivalry. Even on my umpteenth reheat. No shame, I just love that show and I'm often overwhelmed by the amount of love within the show, that went into making that show, and that people feel towards it. Genuine joy is such a hard thing to come by these days.

The song The Flood by AURORA

It really resonates with me due to my struggles with bipolar disorder

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_Ig2rqhK28

The Expanse, "you're not finished yet"

Last week I learned one of my cats (my first feline buddy) has cancer. He's 14, so we are going to keep him as comfortable as we can until he's in too much pain.

A story I shared with my kids. Got it off reddit years ago and no longer remember the name of the redditor who posted it (apologies if you're out there!).

STORY TIME (I will cry again as I format it for Lemmy)

The last thing I remember is My Person bringing my to the Sharp Place.

I never understood why My Person would bring me to the Sharp Place. The smells were sharp, and they poked me with sharp things. That's why I called it the Sharp Place. It was a bad place. I didn't like it.

I don't know why My Person brought me there, that day of all days. I already hadn't been feeling good. I'd been throwing up, and my hips hurt and my paws hurt. Even eating grass didn't help. And then My Person brought me to the Sharp Place. I tried to be mad at him, but he seemed so sad about something, so I tried to wag my tail to cheer him up. I didn't even really notice when the Sharp Man poked me.

Then my eyes got heavy and that was the last thing I remember.

Buddy, a voice said. Buddy, wake up.

I opened my eyes and got to my feet, and I realized my paws didn't hurt anymore. I tried a wag, and that was fine, too. I sniffed the air. It smelled like the Play Park and like Our Home and the Car Window. I liked it a lot.

Welcome, Buddy, came the voice again, from behind me.

I turned around, and there was a person there. He wasn't My Person, but he was all safe and good smells, so I trusted him.

Where am I? I said.

You're in the place that Good Boys go, the person said.

I was a Good Boy? I said.

You were a Very Good Boy, he told me.

That was good. I always tried to be a Good Boy. Where's My Person? I asked.

He's still down there, the person said. And he waved his arm and all of a sudden we were in Our Home, and My Person was sitting on the Forbidden Chair and looking sad. Every so often, he'd look over at the Okay Couch, where I was allowed so sit, and his breath would catch because he was very sad. I tried to nuzzle him, but my nose just passed through his hand.

What's happening? I don't understand, I said.

The person sighed. You can't be with him right now, Buddy. I'm sorry. It's the way of things.

I thought about this. So it's like My Person is on the Person Bed, and I'm not allowed there? I said.

Exactly like that, the person said. But he can be with you someday. If you choose to wait for him.

Of course I want to wait for him! I said. Not wait for My Person? Who did this person think he was talking to?

Hold on, Buddy, the person said. He seemed sad about this for some reason. It's not that simple. You have a choice. He got down on one knee and he looked into my eyes. There are bad things in this world, Buddy. Very bad things.

Like Neighbor Cat?

So much worse than her, Buddy. He waved his hand, and I saw what he was talking about. He showed me dark things, that were like snakes and rats, only worse. Worse than the Sucking Machine. Worse than the Sharp Place. They smelled evil.

These are the things that want to hurt him, Buddy. They want to hurt everybody. So you can wait for him, or you can keep him safe. But if you choose to keep him safe, then you can't see him again.

What, never? I said.

The person nodded. Never, Buddy. I'm sorry. Those are the Rules. It's a terrible choice.

I looked at my paws. I didn't want to not see My Person ever again. But I wanted to keep him safe even more.

I know what I have to do, I said, and the person waved his hand, and all of a sudden we were in a place with as many dogs as I have every seen before. More, even.

These are all the Good Boys who chose to keep Their People safe, the person said.

I looked at them all. I couldn't believe it, still. But there's so many of us! I said. How many Good Boys are here?

The person looked down at me. He smiled, but I could tell he was also partly very sad. All of you, Buddy. Every single one.

I went to apply for a US Passport...

Then I remembered that a lot of immigrants from Fujian are undocumented...

And like... I have been in highschool with these kids whose parents are from Fujian...

And I kinda just felt sad...

Cuz I'm also from China, but I got lucky and got citizenship... and they didn't...

So I just cried... :/

Cuz I can imagine what it's like with the uncertaintly

I mean... I kinda feel the same in some ways... I mean with current political atmosphere... who even knows anymore... I could get denaturalized and end up the same as them anyways...

Thinking about my Dad always gets me. Passed away 2 years ago today in his sleep. Died too young.

Thinking about my dogs today, as I was driving home. They died in 2023 and 2024, each after being very ill. I don't process emotions all that well and them being gone still affects me.

Wout van Aert winning Paris-Roubaix bike race made me cry

I got kicked in both balls and a hemorrhoid at the same time.

I cry most days. Not usually from sadness. Yesterday there was some tender mpment in my kids' TV show that made me well up.