How do you wake up a 7AM? Do you have to whisper into its ear “eight nine” and it gets hungry and jumps out of bed?
this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2026
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This is more funny when you read it manga style.
FB is leaking.
67
So if you're asleep at 6am, how do you know it's happening at 6am as opposed to 5am or 630am?
I feel like he's just making an excuse for shitting his pants even though he's wide awake.
Smort butt plug posts to X when it gets pushed out, every day at 0600. Smort diaper wakes up our boi when ejected poo is staying too long inside.
Wife told him
Even worse. How did the wife tell him "you shit your pants again at the same time as always" instead of waking him up early to avoid this?
Old people insomnia
If she already knows this happens regularly, then whether she wakes him up beforehand or tells him afterwards, doesn't mean she hadn't let him know at some point?
Once she realizes that this happens regularly, she should tell him "you pooped the last few days before waking up. Let me wake you up beforehand so you make it to the toilet in time, also make an appointment at your doctor". Maybe that's what happened and he just omitted it because it isn't relevant for the diagnosis. We'll never know.
Half wakes up mid-poop, "Fuck it", goes back to sleep.
Poop forensics.
Fecal forensics*
Fecensics*
"Oh, yeah you shouldn't do that. Here's 6 month's prescription of OxyContin"
It's crazy how they give that shit out once you pass a certain age.
And yet if you have cancer or a serious, chronic or otherwise illness/injury you it's like "have you tried paracetamol"?
They'll refill it forever too, even if it was supposed to just be a recovery aid. Seen more than one elder become addicted.
I just don't get it. My FIL likely died of an overdose because his GP, who knew he was a hardcore alcoholic (since he treated him for withdrawals in the hospital multiple times), kept prescribing him fistfuls of Xanax.
Lol yeah, it's like by that point the Government are like "fuck it, you aint got long left either way, do wat evz bro"
Just set your alarm for 5:59 idiot. Problem solved, your copay is $250
This is why you need a presidential aide to wake you up Don, you can't keep firing them just because waking up always puts you in a tantrum.
DAE pewp?
No I mean what’s your problem with me? You haven’t been the same since that moment we had in the sauna. Is it me?