Hes not "so close to getting it" he completely understands the bait hes setting out.
this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2026
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As a wise person once said…
If I have both earbuds in, don’t talk to me.
If I have one earbud in, don’t talk to me.
If I have neither in, don’t talk to me.
I hate this though because I am not just trying to say hi, I am literally trying to explain to women why they should listen to me, so if they have headphones in they will never hear the arguments in the first place that I have honed in preparation through conversations with my AI Wives.
It is rude for women to just pretend like they can go about their lives and not center me, I am a man and I am the hero of MY STORY you have to listen to me.
Exactly. It's like they don't even realize who the protagonist is here.
Its not her story, its history. Right fellas!
I don't mean this in a gay way, but men have such sexier minds than women, I just wish we could transport the minds of men into the minds of women so I could stop having to deal with these complicated feelings about my bros.
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Story time! This isn't here to say that dudes have it worse or just as bad or anything. It just made me think of this.
I have a good friend who wears wired earbuds often. He gets in a space where he doesn't want to talk to anyone but he got to be out for one reason or other. I've watched person after person come up to him to talk. He rolls his eyes, takes out an earbud, make a huge show of pausing whatever he's listening to while holding up the "Wait a second" finger. They'll say whatever they're trying to open with and he will nod and give the biggest fake smile. Then put his earbud back in. To continue the conversation they have to tap him again and wait for him to do it all over again. Some do, sometimes repeatedly.
Some people seem to have no concept that others aren't just waiting for the chance to talk to them.
This whole thread is weird to me because being approached in public by people wanting to talk almost never happens. Not that I'm complaining exactly, it's confusing and concerning when it does, but it's hard to imagine it as such a normal thing that it has become a commonplace annoyance.
No this seems like some made up scenario. Complete bullshit, if you will. But, go off.
This seems dependant on location to me. In a region I lived before it would be rare that someone would talk to me in public like at the store, now where I'm at it happens all the time, people seem much more social in general. I used to be sort of confused when it did happen, now I'm used to it and it feels like a nice human moment when it does usually.
I don't know what it is. I used to get approached semi-regularly, maybe once every few weeks when I was younger. But this dude, for whatever reason, was approached often. I think part of it is the places he was a lot of times. We'd be out at the bar (he would lend music/PA equipment to bands or small bars for a small fee and show up to basically drink for free) and there was one night I watched it happen half a dozen times. Not by the people who were borrowing equipment, but just random people who he didn't know.
He said it never happened at like the grocery store or whatever, but very often in bars when he'd sit alone, less often in restaurants when he'd sit alone, and occasionally at the park when he'd go sit to read (headphones in). He's good looking but not extraordinarily so and never looked especially friendly so that wasn't it. It was both men and women, men more often but women more persistently.
Some folks just have something that makes others want to talk to them I guess. I imagine it's worse for women for a few reasons (the way certain demographics of dudes are socialized, not knowing how a guy will react when you shut him down, etc). And some folks seem to believe that everyone is just waiting for them to strike up a conversation, even if the person they're trying to strike it up with is obviously actively avoiding people.
It stopped happening to me. I'm not sure if I aged poorly over the pandemic or if I just look meaner these days. He moved away so I don't get to watch that particular trainwreck anymore. I'll have to ask him.
Next time you talk to him, suggest that he pick up some of those over the ear noise cancelling headphones. You don't even have to have them turned on, but the size of them makes taking them off such a visible hassle that it seems to discourage a lot of those kinds of people. And the rest you can ignore and pretend that you couldn't hear them because you had the noise cancelling on.
I already sent him one message this week!
Seriously though, this whole thing has me curious about the current state of things so I shot him a message asking about it. I'll pass it along if he still needs the advice.
We’d be out at the bar
LOL! What psychopath sits at the bar with earbuds in?
A psychopath that doesn't want to make a habit of drinking at the house because they know it'll become a problem but doesn't want to interact with people because they're going through shit? Possibly a psychopath that gets to drink for free because of the gear loan? A psychopath who wants to watch his gear and take it home with him rather than leaving it in a public place or with a group of drunk musicians overnight?
Self awarewolf
The guy is not "so close to getting it." He just appears that way because we don't have the same bias he has. He's actually quite far from getting it and he probably won't even believe the truth when people explain it to him.
If he was close to getting it, he'd have gotten it already.
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All you got to do is wave your hands in front of face and ask if they are using aptx HD, AAC, or some other codec. It's an easy conversation starter.
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Does he usually walk up to random people on the street who aren't wearing headphones to try start conversations? 😬
Judging by replies to that thread… yes, quite a bit. One woman described how she had to wear ear protection after ear surgery and a guy removed that to talk to her from behind. She was in pain for 2 days afterwards.
Someone... touched what some stranger is wearing to remove it... and it wasn't an emergency???
What the fuck is wrong with people
Oh my god, that's awful
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https://youtube.com/shorts/4bpL14Z9RKE
The only guys who are going to approach you are the guys with no boundaries. Which is going to feed the confirmation bias.
What do you think the solution to that problem is?
I was going to respond at least somewhat affirming what you said and then I saw who you linked. Gross. Can't stand BilleRaeBrandt. Nothing but an apologist for misogyny.
I don't know who that is, I simply searched "men not approaching" in YouTube search. There's no shortage of similar contradictory content. Women are not a monolith, so it stands to reason that some genuinely don't want to be approached at all, and some do, but since we're not psychic, that just leaves respectful men not approaching as a default position.
I guess she is a youtuber or tiktoker or whatever who makes short videos about hetero relationship issues that (as far as I have ever seen) always blame the woman for why things have gone wrong with their dating attempts or existing relationships, etc. It's never the man's fault.
"Women are so unreasonable! Amirite, guise??"
The only guys who are going to approach you are the guys with no boundaries. Which is going to feed the confirmation bias.
What confirmation bias? The confirmation bias of this straw woman you have here?
If the only men who approach you are people who don't respect boundaries, then every man you meet has similar traits, and then it's easy to think all men your problem when it's not. Just because you're easily lost in conversation doesn't make everything a strawman. It's not a magic incantation that makes you look smart.
Meanwhile, the dirty looks I get when I'm on a bike ride and I startle nearly every woman I pass because she couldn't hear me say "on your left"
Only the women, though?
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