The real solution is to do all Olympic sports the way they used to be done, with hot sweaty naked bodies
this post was submitted on 06 Feb 2026
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Ski jumpers gonna have to perfect the helicopter dick move to gain additional lift.
In the cold though, so their junk is gonna be shrunk. Unless they add fluffers to the event.
Or the event just becomes a contest of who really likes ski-jumping the most.
That's fine that's a body technique
May the biggest dickus win 😌✨️
Why not just abolish the stupid rule about skintight suit and go full on flying squirrel, I'd watch the competition
we have wingsuits, they're not in the olympics and people die in them a lot
I think we should just let these people go wild, sure, some will die, but lets see how far a human can really jump.
The economy has gotten so bad that inflation is even affecting penises now.
When will it end? When will this penis inflation bubble pop??
God just give them arm membranes like flying squirrels
All doping should be legal and clearly laid out, so consumers can make informed decisions about their steroids and dick injections.
Foreskin-care routine. 
New York Times headlines always read as deeply unserious and stupid to me. Like someone is reading it to me in a condescending voice.
they write for blue maga, of course they are
That's the "adults in the room" style libspeak
Wouldnt it be more effective to inflate your balls?
Wait until ball inflate gate
What I'm seeing is that in imperial units, 0.8 inches increase in circumference gains you 19 feet of flight length. Saline injection fetishists are about to fffllyyyyyyyyy.
Just don't pee for a while before they fit your suit
Guy injecting his penis with acid; "if only there were an easier way to temporarily enlarge my genitalia"
It's not really an acid in the sense that it isn't gonna eat through anything. It's uhh... cell goop? Like I think "Goop" genuinely sums up its function. It forms a chunk of the extracellular matrix and kinda just lubricates or creates buffer space.
Edit: I think you use it for treating arthritis by injecting it into joints to replace the synovial fluid and for filler. They're basically just giving their dicks lip filler.
Obviously this person never powered through the free ad reads for Blue Chew on their favorite podcast
what the hell, how is this real
The shit people do for a gold medal... I get that in their social circles, it's everything. But. It doesn't seem all that prestigious. It's not like the judges are gonna go "Hm, poor performance this year, nobody gets anything". There's always gonna be a first second and third. Like, whats the most you get out of it? An advertising deal with Nike? You're gonna fuck up your junk just so you can be in a YouTube ad that gets skipped at the first opportunity?
Inflating penises?
What is this, my search history?
Thanks folks, I'll be here all day
wait so are all dick-having pro ski jumpers erect
when they're sized for the suits
We're like one month away from this being the top terf talking point about women's sports
Sailing away on my big ol' donger.
Embrace tradition, ret/urn to Tanuki
shit is fucked just give all the medals to Eileen Gu
Totally forgot about her, oh man I hope she is still dominant, the malding tears of misogynists and racists will sustain me through the winter until the sun returns to us.
Sure, she can ski, but how much can she inflate her penis?
This is very funny but I also don't think it's true.
Pablo Torre did an episode on this. It is, in fact, very real. He called it the penis parachute
This isn't the first I've heard of this. I think the extra fabric gained from the genitals going back to their original size actually does help
can't you just get an erection, get the suit or measured or w/e, then let it go flaccid? viagra seems easier
Easier to say you have to be fitted while soft than to compare dick sizes before and after
Athletes discover tech pornography has been using for decades. Wow!
injecting their penises with hyaluronic acid
itchy swollen dick sail tech makes it to the olympics
The World Anti-Doping Agency has not yet investigated the allegations, but director general Oliver removedli said the organization would look into it.
No no no, there is no way that is actually his name.
Oliver Removedli
Even the Hexbear filter was like “awww hell naw”
You'd heard of Deflategate, now get ready for Inflategate
could never shit about the rich white olympics 
