Me: I was a regional manager of Toys R Us between 1995 and 2008.
Interviewer: It says here on your resume you were born in 1999, and you moved to Australia in 201x.
Me: ummmmm
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Me: I was a regional manager of Toys R Us between 1995 and 2008.
Interviewer: It says here on your resume you were born in 1999, and you moved to Australia in 201x.
Me: ummmmm
Exactly, and you wonder why the failed... hiring a 18yo as a regional manger.
no wait, that doesn't look good...
Refer them to the documentary boss baby if your early employment history is ever brought into question
"They made a lot of strange decisions before they shut down"
"Toys R Us invested heavily in both time and inter-dimensional travel. As a result I've lived a thousand lives in service of the giraffe."
no one is hiring someone solely based upon your experience of working at any of those locations ... Ever.
Nearly every HR (realistically any job that earns over 65k a year) have systems like TheWorkNumber, ADP, Credit Bureaus to get your employment records.
If you done fucked up, they can request tax records and I can guarantee you that all those businesses you listed very much have their tax records available from the IRS.
This idea worked like 10 years ago... Even shitty HR have figured this out by now.
WTF that's way to much insights in data that shouldn't be collected in first place.
And guess what! For $8 you can access all that data for anyone you want!
Fuck us plebs amirite?
When i got hired last which was 2 years ago (in the US, huge company) they outsourced the checks to a 3rd party and my god were they incompetent. They passed me with a caveat saying they couldn’t confirm my most previous job. The records they turned over to me after show their attempts: 3 phone calls to the main number listed on the company’s website. That’s it. The process dragged on for so long i suspected they were having issues because most everyone i had worked with had been laid off and the company barely existed with likes 15 employees down from 300. They wouldn’t take my offer to connect to the VP and just called the same number until they gave up. Its laughable.
I mean, no one is hiring me one way or the other, but with that method I can look at my CV and feel I accomplished something. So, that's good.
That’s why my CV looks so strong:
Director of Internal Audit; Enron Corp. (1998-2001)
Senior Vice President for Risk Management; Lehman Brothers (2002-2008)
Edit: for all the recruiters reaching out, I’m not interested. I’m currently Managing Director for Growth (Europe) at Tesla, and expecting to get a huge bonus after our Q4 2025 sales numbers are final.
Head of security, Wold Trade Centre, NY, 1995-2001.
I see from your resume that you're good at looking the other way while we make billions. You're hired.
Didn't you also help found that FTX crypto exchange a few years ago too?
I was the lead engineer behind the graphite tips rods at Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant and I helped Boeing design MCAS for the 737 max
I just now realized: someone has the most cursed resume on LinkedIn. I'd expect something in line with this.
Ohh it'd be hilarious to try and find cursed resumes.
However that would mean signing up for LinkedIn and I'd rather repeatedly hit myself on the head with a hammer. The brain damage would be about equal
I see you left that short stint at WorldCom off your resume.
I worked at a dot com and although I was fairly young at the time I was promoted quickly to management (we had several thousand employees at the time).
When it all came falling down and we were all looking at jobs at the sametime I was being asked by proespective employers "was John Smith really General Manager of customer service"?
The vast majority were customer service monkeys padding the fuck out of their resumes.
That said hate the game not the player. I always nodded and said yes.
Fuck em if they can't do their own verification work.
I always nodded and said yes.
inadvertently kickstarts Elizabeth Holmes promotion to CEO a job or two later :p j/k
btw curious what the proper verification work is. Thought calls were standard. Maybe pulling tax records if possible?
"So tell me, is it a coincidence that all the companies you worked for went bankrupt?"
That's why you have to keep it modest at 'regional manager', significant enough to be useful looking, insignificant enough so you can't possibly be to blame for the downfall of the company.
Well I read the art of the deal, I'm as baffled as you.
Frys electronics is a good bet too they're a more recent shutdown that might be more relevant than a blockbuster or toys r us
Yeah Frys folk were a super weird set though so that might not work as you think
Only if you're fucking old.
"It says here you were a general manager at Radioshack?"
"Correct"
"They went bankrupt in 2015, which would make you.... 11, at the time?"
"I started young"
I was thinking this too, but they do ask for 10 years of experience on entry level positions so HR gets a taste of their own medicine here
I don't really have much memory of this, but I apparently started using keyboards when I was two. I only know because of things my father told me and one personal memory.
Eventually I I joined a company which encouraged me to record my skills with my history. I was nineteen at the time. They certainly were aware of that.
I recorded in their system that I had been using keyboards for seventeen years. They didn't appreciate it. I think I might have taken their request too literally.
Didn't expect to be jump scared by the abandoned Staten Island shoprite that was used as a set for the fallout TV show on here
I was a manager at a RadioShack. And it was a franchise, so it’s even less verifiable (I think). Not a regional manager though. Oh, I mean, I was a district manager.
I ran Circuit City. All of them.
My father actually ran a few when I was little years later we found a box of promotion razor blades in the garage with the circuit city logo on them, along with an apropos tagline “like nowhere else.”
Toys R us s still exists though
The brand exists, but it's not the same company.
I went to a Radio Shack a few years back. They still exist as well
RadioShack is still around. Not sure how good it is.
Interestingly, it started as a mail order business in the 1920s, switched to retail stores in the 1960s, and then in 2017 it switched back to an online only / mail delivery business.
This is a great idea till the interviewer hits you with the "oh cool, my freind Jhonny was also a regional manager there, where were you the RM?"
There were no regional managers named Jhonny. Your friend is a liar and you should cut them out of your life.
Was Radio Shack as cool as Tandy stores in Europe?
RadioShack is a subsidiary of Tandy. It was not created by Tandy, but bought in the 60s.