this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2026
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Chapotraphouse

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[–] WhyEssEff@hexbear.net 83 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Ridiculous as all of this might seem, homeland security officials tell me that many if not most federal agents have taken all of the rhetoric about shadowy Antifa networks to heart.

chat is it good or bad when the Deep State realigns towards chasing Hyperborea

[–] Drithvan@hexbear.net 59 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

Well, since "Antifa" is a non-existent organization, it puts them on a wild goose chase.

On the other hand, it also gives them a justification to label any sort of leftist action "Antifa", thereby making it terrorist action.

EDIT: Just had a great thought: if people really wanted to waste the Fed/ICE's time, we should just leave anonymous reports of "Antifa safehouses" in the most obscure places. Send them on a hunt for something that doesn't exist, waste their time.

[–] LeninWeave@hexbear.net 37 points 2 months ago

I think WhyEssEff is joking about the third reich nazis doing the same thing.

[–] hellinkilla@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

ELF also non existing organization. I would characterize what happened during green scare as "wild goose chase".

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[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 41 points 2 months ago

glances at pigs convulsing on the floor frothing at the mouth after being in the same room as a strip of fentanyl

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 57 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Who is this man? I'm Dr. Richard Dick Pennis and I'm the leader of Antifa.

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 35 points 2 months ago (2 children)

i'm Dr. Willy Peter Johnson and i'm the CEO of antifa

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 31 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Dr. Willy Peter Johnson the urologist? My nemesis, the charlatan who stole my design for Penis 2?

[–] Johnny_Arson@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (2 children)

If Penis is so good why isn't there a Penis 2?

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 24 points 2 months ago

It was going to change everything. Then Dr. Billiam Johnson stole my life's work and buried it. We wouldn't have war if we had Penis 2.

[–] Blakey@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago

Penis is so good we don't NEED penis 2!

[–] Drithvan@hexbear.net 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Impossible, Dr. Willy Peter Johnson was killed at the battle of Charlottesville, 2017.

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago

no that was Billy Peter Johnson Esq.

[–] smokeppb@hexbear.net 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Drithvan@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] smokeppb@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

The true leader rat-salute-2

[–] Drithvan@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago

No wait... I thought Man was the leader of Antifa? Mods, get this fed.

[–] Riffraffintheroom@hexbear.net 46 points 2 months ago (2 children)

He looks like a nerd. They chose him so that chuds online could say “haha the leader of antifa is a skinny nerd”.

[–] tombruzzo@hexbear.net 53 points 2 months ago

The article says he's the leader of antifa because he lives next door to an ICE facility and let's other protesters come in to use his sink and shower. This makes his place an antifa stronghold apparently.

[–] invalidusernamelol@hexbear.net 30 points 2 months ago

I think it's more that the people in charge are just your psycho brain rotted Uncle and they see antifa everywhere. Especially since their directives from up top are to "uncover antifa".

Now if they want to detain you indefinitely, or fuck with you, they just say "antifa commander" and you're suddenly on 15 different watchlists.

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 42 points 2 months ago

“Chandler Patey was identified through open-source research as an active participant in the protests,” an IRS-NG entry about him says.

Ok so they're literally just IDing people based on whatever random fuckwit says online with an OSINT tag in their account name/bio.

[–] principalkohoutek@hexbear.net 40 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] JohnBrownsBawdy@hexbear.net 28 points 2 months ago

Bigus Antifus

[–] thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net 40 points 2 months ago

red-fist

I AM ANTIFA

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 38 points 2 months ago (1 children)

“This is my very normal apartment, and it has been referred to by right wing social media grifters as the ‘Antifa safe house,’” Patey told The Oregonian. “But I just let people use my sink and use my bathroom.”

[–] Drithvan@hexbear.net 41 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Antifa is when you let people have a place to take care of business.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago

And they've been takin' care of business, antifa
Takin' care of business, antifa
They've been takin' care of business, it's okay
Takin' care of business and pooping overtime, work out
Whoo

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 37 points 2 months ago (2 children)

They found Antifas Georg, the man who killed a million billion fascists?

[–] Drithvan@hexbear.net 22 points 2 months ago

Antifas Georg, a man who has killed approximately 150 billion fascists, is an outlier and should be disqualified. He's also currently in hiding.

[–] Dort_Owl@hexbear.net 35 points 2 months ago

That doesn't look like my Aunt Tifa at all!

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 31 points 2 months ago

fuck man this is gonna make the next shareholder meeting a pain in the ass

[–] Sickos@hexbear.net 28 points 2 months ago
[–] gay_king_prince_charles@hexbear.net 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Crazy how we don't have an Adam Friedland emoji

[–] axont@hexbear.net 16 points 2 months ago

bug-facts This isn't Adam?

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 24 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Drithvan@hexbear.net 21 points 2 months ago

Holy shit is that John Antifa

they found me rip

[–] Zuzak@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago

I didn't vote for him. How do you become leader then?

[–] RoabeArt@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago

That doesn't look like George Soros at all.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago

[Looking at photo.] I can't make Onion jokes day after day. [Looking at photo again.] But...

[–] tombruzzo@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago

Guys, something has gone wrong. Langley said it would be my turn as head of antifa next

[–] Masterkraft0r@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 2 months ago

ned ludd just dropped

[–] CrookedSerpent@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

#notmypresident

[–] rubber_chicken@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

Anyone know his thoughts on the afterlife?

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