this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 55 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Yeah... You use shampiss to pass a drug test when you know your realpiss won't.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 17 points 1 month ago

I can't argue with that.

[–] HeyJoe@lemmy.world 33 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Whats with the presentation? Looks like those memes where they shame dogs who did bad things.

[–] Anivia@feddit.org 15 points 1 month ago

Whats with the presentation?

Narcissism

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago

So it should read "I excuse myself to the washroom on dates just to check my IG feed".

[–] abfarid@startrek.website 27 points 1 month ago
[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I've said it before, I'll say it again, down with shampoo, demand real poo!

[–] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Real poo is free, abundant, and just the right consistency if you eat enough cheese.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

enough cheese

does not compute

[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 month ago

gives a great tan

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 month ago

Shampoo or Realpoo

[–] OwlVurdy@lemmy.wtf 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Shampiss is what you wash your hair with when you get to the bottom of the bottle and have to mix a little water with it to get it out.

beat me to it.

[–] 5C5C5C@programming.dev 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Champagne implies the existence of Champleasure

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Some people find pleasure in pagne. Lots of guys out there wanting go get spanked by angry women.

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah, its called American beer.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Shots fired!

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

They both exist, and are used when you need to get away from a date, check your phone, or otherwise get some alone time sitting down.

[–] CaptainBasculin@lemmy.bascul.in 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm more of a shamshit guy

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

He called shamshit shampoo.

[–] beemikeoak@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 1 month ago

Shamcrap! Shamdoodoo! Shamdingleberries!

[–] UncleGrandPa@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] JimVanDeventer@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

That’s just a theory. A GAME THEORY!

[–] null@piefed.nullspace.lol 5 points 1 month ago

ShamWow implies the existence of LegitMeh

[–] PrinceOfSloth@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 month ago

This looks like female Rainbolt

[–] RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Old guy story time

I knew this guy in college who always forgot his shampoo in the shower (dorm with shared bathrooms).

It would enrage him that people would use up his shampoo.

So he filled the bottle with piss and left it for communal use.

[–] remon@ani.social 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No it doesn't. Plenty of animals only poo, including most insects and birds.

[–] Speiser0@feddit.org 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And given the wetness of shampoo, it's unlikely that there's a separate shampiss.

[–] remon@ani.social 1 points 1 month ago

Uhm ... I guess so?

[–] brown567@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago
[–] SheepHerder@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Wigglesworth@retrolemmy.com 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Would you click if she was?

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[–] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 month ago

synthetic natural champagne (German calls piss play natural champagne)

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago

... Shampiss...

...

...

... pre-cum?

[–] KingGimpicus@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

It does.

Due to an unfortunate trait of the French (their language) it's better known as champagne.

Fr all wine and grape derived liquor is yucky and gross. Find better drinks, like rum.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Don't say that too loud, you'll get trumps attention

[–] kaklerbitmap@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I use Chambraigne! It's got Knowledge Crystals!

https://youtu.be/pbY3JOjQal4

[–] Siegfried@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Shampoo also means the existamce of proudpoo

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You mean real poo? Pretty sure that's already a thing.

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[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Techlos@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago

It's the good shit

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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How does Shamwow fit...

[–] anon_8675309@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

That’s deep.

[–] diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

It’s pronounced sham PAGGin

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

shampoo also implies the (much more likely imho) existence of shamshart

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

I've been wanting my wife to shampiss on me for years...

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