What a way to make a living!
this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2026
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I am a shrew
I see a leaf
With yummy nectar for a feast
I lick the glue
But I feel funny
I've got a rumbly in my tummy
Good, it's true
It has a hole
Wide like shrew-shaped toilet bowl
And so I poo
I feel no sorrow
I'll come and lick this plant tomorrow
this here is the reason I pay for the internet
thank you
Not always
This plan started as a toilet, until one day it asked... Why should I not bite the hand that feeds me? And it worked.
Is there an advantage for the Shrew to do this? Does the plant grow on the side of the Shrew interstate?
The shrew gets to lap up some sweet nectar, which is also a laxative.
Seems unhygienic to be lapping up toilet nectar
You've never seen those urinals that have complementary delicious cake?
That's not a cake, that's a breath mint
The cake is a lie!
if you crush it up and breath it in youll also get high... and dissolve your brain
Wait until you find out where vegetables get their nutrients from.
yeah but I aint munching on a raw head of cabbage while sitting on top of its fertilizer.
Speak for yourself, bub.
It grows next to shrew bars and microbreweries
microshreweries
Ni! Ni! Ni!
Ecky, Ecky, Ecky, Pakang, Zoom-ping.
Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!
Not sure about shrews, but some animals hide their feces because the scent can let predators know where they are.
Imagine if toilets had candy dispensers
Many pitcher plants produce nectar as a lure.
Where do these grow? Why are insects scarce? Is it cold?
Scat plants. Thank god we can't hear them speak. Who knows what they have to say.
Probably something like
"Ski-bi-dibby-dib yo-da-dub-dub, yo-da-dub-dub Ski-bi-dibby-dib yo-da-dub-dub, yo-da-dub-dub"
Or maybe
"Ba-da-ba-da-ba-be bop-bop-bodda-bope Bop-ba-bodda-bope Be-bop-ba-bodda-bope, bop-ba-bodda Ba-da-ba-da-ba-be bop-ba-bodda-bope Bop-ba-bodda-bope Be-bop-ba-bodda-bope, bop-ba-bodda-bope"
listen to more al jarreau
"Everybody's saying that the Scatplant stutters
But doesn't ever stutter when he sings
But what you don't know, I'm gonna tell you right now
That the stutter and the scat is the same thing, yo
I'm the Scatplant"
Is this a skibidi toilet?
literally these guys from the All Tommorows book
That looks like something from Codex Seraphinianus.
Wouldn't it be the Colonials?
Imagine if we could grow toilets?
Dune probably had a variant of chairdogs for that.
Ribbed for their pleasure
I pick shrew 2
Center loo gets the win!
Bono was briefly into these.
That's right, U2 grew a shrew loo.
Who knew?
What happened to don't shit where you eat?