this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2025
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Science Memes

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top 18 comments
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[–] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 2 points 6 minutes ago

He went on to name a bunch of birds afterwards, like boobies and tits

[–] neuracnu@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 hour ago

Just gonna leave this here…

As I sat there at my ease, cross-legged on the deck; after the bitter exertion at the windlass; under a blue tranquil sky; the ship under indolent sail, and gliding so serenely along; as I bathed my hands among those soft, gentle globules of infiltrated tissues, wove almost within the hour; as they richly broke to my fingers, and discharged all their opulence, like fully ripe grapes their wine; as. I snuffed up that uncontaminated aroma,- literally and truly, like the smell of spring violets; I declare to you, that for the time I lived as in a musky meadow; I forgot all about our horrible oath; in that inexpressible sperm, I washed my hands and my heart of it; I almost began to credit the old Paracelsan superstition that sperm is of rare virtue in allaying the heat of anger; while bathing in that bath, I felt divinely free from all ill-will, or petulance, or malice, of any sort whatsoever.

Squeeze! squeeze! squeeze! all the morning long; I squeezed that sperm till I myself almost melted into it; I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me; and I found myself unwittingly squeezing my co-laborers’ hands in it, mistaking their hands for the gentle globules. Such an abounding, affectionate, friendly, loving feeling did this avocation beget; that at last I was continually squeezing their hands, and looking up into their eyes sentimentally; as much as to say,- Oh! my dear fellow beings, why should we longer cherish any social acerbities, or know the slightest ill-humor or envy! Come; let us squeeze hands all round; nay, let us all squeeze ourselves into each other; let us squeeze ourselves universally into the very milk and sperm of kindness.

Would that I could keep squeezing that sperm for ever! For now, since by many prolonged, repeated experiences, I have perceived that in all cases man must eventually lower, or at least shift, his conceit of attainable felicity; not placing it anywhere in the intellect or the fancy; but in the wife, the heart, the bed, the table, the saddle, the fire-side; the country; now that I have perceived all this, I am ready to squeeze case eternally. In thoughts of the visions of the night, I saw long rows of angels in paradise, each with his hands in a jar of spermaceti.

[–] ReverendIrreverence@lemmy.world 7 points 1 hour ago (2 children)

Cockroach has something to say here

[–] HowAbt2day@futurology.today 3 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

And the breastmouse bird has joined the chat.

[–] zer0squar3d@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 hour ago

And pussywillow.

[–] kwomp2@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 hour ago

cockpit enters the room

[–] janNatan@lemmy.ml 74 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

It's short for spermaceti whale.

Spermaceti is the name of the oil they produce for buoyancy/echolocation. Why is it called that? Because it was originally thought to be whale semen. Yes, really.

[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 34 points 3 hours ago (2 children)
[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 1 hour ago

Only during transit.

[–] pootzapie@lemy.lol 2 points 1 hour ago

Actual lol, tysm and happy holidays

[–] SillyDude@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 hours ago

I wonder if they were either disappointed or relieved when they found out it wasn't cum.

[–] tiny_hedgehog@piefed.social 38 points 4 hours ago (3 children)

I bet he named the Daddy Long Legs too.

[–] Signtist@bookwyr.me 11 points 2 hours ago

He originally wanted to call it the Spermy Long Legs.

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 33 points 4 hours ago

"Okay, we need a name for this one, too."

"Bushtit."

[Sigh] "Fine. And this one?"

[Snickering] "Blue footed booby."

"Ugh, but why?."

"It's got blue feet."

"Whatever. How about this one?"

"Titmouse."

"I think I'm starting to see a pattern here. Is everything okay at home?"

[Bursts into tears] "No! Not since this one." [Hands other person a photo] "I call that one 'horrible shrew that ruined my life!'" [Sobbing]

[Other person holding the photo of the ex-partner]

[–] hopesdead@startrek.website 8 points 3 hours ago

Sadly I have a video for this topic.

https://youtu.be/bYyiS8AT3ug

[–] FaceDeer@fedia.io 16 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Unfortunately not before he did the bear and the peacock.

Or rather before he named the bear and the peacock. Need to be careful with words when that guy's involved.

[–] hopesdead@startrek.website 5 points 3 hours ago

I knew from the cropped thumbnail it was Ryan George.

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 11 points 4 hours ago

before the whale, they named a bunch of birds for foreplay