Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
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π³οΈββ§οΈ Transmasculine Pride Ring π³οΈββ§οΈ
Link to the recipe, it's vegan 
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spoiler
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HELLO THIS IS THE MEGA SIGN UP POST/LIST POST
if you have a preferred week please tell me
oscardejarjayes* (12/8 - 12/14)
Tommasi (12/15 - 12/21)
Shaleesh* (12/22 - 12/28)
SwitchyandWitchy* (12/29 - 1/4)
peanutbuttercupola* (1/5 - 1/11)
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Alisu* (1/19 - 1/25)
Disaster_of_Passion* (1/26 - 2/1)
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β * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters
I'm so fucking sick of being too tall to fit in bath tubs, all I want is to sit in hot water in the privacy of my own home
Lol there was a time when I thought I was a guy
How. The fuck. Did my legs get to be this cute? I'm wearing jeans rn and I looked down and saw the cutest legs of all time
I feel like a togepi. I have cracked my egg, but am still hiding under the shell
Talking to my dad is fun because he'll call me something like an "industrious lad" meanwhile 20 feet away is the bottle of pills I shove up my ass to make my tits bigger
fuck work
Struggling super hard with the last screen of this Celeste level, turns out I just didn't learn a trick I was supposed to earlier. After finding out the new tec I beat it in one sitting. Still need 3 crystal hearts to unlock the core.
voice dysphoria, transphobia
I have dnd tonight and it will be the first time I've spoken out loud since Thanksgiving when my sister told me "you sound like a man pretending to be a woman, but maybe that's just because I know what you are" and yeah ngl I'm having a little bit of a break down. Or a lot a bit of a breakdown. If I'm being honest I don't want to speak ever again in my life.
Honestly your sister can go fuck herself >:(
π«
alcohol, relationship
Context: Closeted in a complex relationship. Trying to navigate that and come out soon.
My egg cracked nearly two years ago during the only time I've ever been nearly flat-out wasted. Now when I'm feeling dysphoric or overwhelmed I reach for alcohol to take me back to that place. Just enough to feel something. It's not alcoholism (at least not yet), but it is unhealthy.
I come from a family where the majority suffer from some form of addiction. It makes me wonder why it's so common in my family... and maybe if I'm not the only one.
I'm trying to find the courage to come out, knowing that for me the genie cannot go back in the bottle. Several people here have been really helpful in figuring this out. I'm so thankful for each of you π
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Wow, same here. I drank a lot during the early years of covid because I could act different and blame it on that. Also just felt nice to think less about something so all-consuming. Never really drank much before that because my family has a ton of substance problems. I read through some of your other posts and I'm so sorry that you aren't in a place where transitioning feels easier. I got lucky with my relationship, although there's still been issues that have come up because of transitioning. But a big part of hiding it for so long was the fear that I would lose someone that I care a lot about :/.
I eventually decided that I had to pursue it regardless because once the egg is fully cracked, you can't just put it back together. Also, I figured that if my partner wasn't OK with me being me, then it wasn't going to work anyways. Really scary to confront, but necessary.
None of this has been easy but it's absolutely been worth it and I haven't regretted a second. I really hope you can find your peace in this situation however that manifests for you but just know that you aren't alone in your experience or your feelings 
I know I already replied once, but this really is one of the kindest, most thoughtful things anyone has said to me. I am so grateful for your thoughts π
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I am endlessly amazed by the kindness of this community. Thank you so much.
That fear is the only thing holding me back. I have made peace with losing everything but this relationship; if I had just realized a couple years earlier, things would be very different. You're right that it's necessary, though. I'm just not all here like this for anybody.
For a long time, I thought I was faulty. Now I feel confident I just haven't been honest with myself.
Dec. 6th marks 1 year on HRT. I'm so happy but I don't have anyone IRL to celebrate.
sex (depressing)
In front of my friends I have bragged that I have had sex before.
I did not tell them that all of my consentual sexual encounters were at a gloryhole and with strangers and I did not like any of my encounters and I've even cried after them.
And they were done during my egg time back when I just wanted to feel something.
And I'm too ashamed of my body right now to try anything with anyone.
And the one time I had decent sex (the foot fetish guy if you somehow remember), he tried to get my number but I lied and didn't give him my number even though I probably should have. At least I would have a consistent hookup which is better than crying alone all the time dreaming about men.
All in all, I would say at the current point in my life, I feel too traumatised and scared to have sex. I literally could not feel good from it. This is despite me being a fairly horny individual (before hrt). Really ironic, no?
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It doesn't surprise me that intimacy is scary for you given your history and trauma. I imagine that idea of a consistent hookup was still too much intimacy for you at the time which is why you like protected yourself at a subconscious level by giving the wrong number. Maybe you would've got on with foot fetish man or maybe not, but I wouldnβt beat yourself up over the choice. There will be other men, even other foot fetish men. They've gloryhole situation also sounds like a way to engage in that sexual drive but without intimacy.
You probably do have a lot to deal with before having sex or at least before having sex feels good for you as well (a very important underrated aspect of sex is that you should also be feeling good doing it). It tracks that you feel shame of your body, thats just dysphoria - I dont think you should feel it and hopefully that can change but it makes sense to me. Maybe one day you can have a slower paced thing with a man (or whatever) where you can feel safe and intimate and beautiful and have that drive satisfied. Working through your hangups with sex and intimacy without that still makes sense, and if you can find a trauma informed sex positive LGBT or ally therapist (and can afford one) Im sure that would be really great too.
I've been trying to get into meditation. Yesterday I had a really good experience except for one minor problem: it makes me hyper aware of the mismatch between my brains map of my body and my actual body. Basically it made me dysphoric. Does anyone have any experience with this? It was weird
Any other trans folks here in Berlin got a free room/apartment available? Wont have a place in a few weeks :/ mein Deutsch ist nicht gΓΌt und ich bin ein student
It's really annoying when women are drawn with messed up proportions, boobs and butts shouldn't be 5 times the size of someones head.
Guy who draws women with tiny heads:
Local group was actually much more understanding of dysphoria then I necessarily expected, it was nice. Glad I shared.
voice dysphoria
Although people tell me my voice sounds like a woman's, it absolutely doesn't though?? I sound like a guy in their 20s. And like duh, ofc I sound like that. But multiple people have told me they think I have a nice voice or it sounds like a woman's, I mean I guess they're being nice idk..
spoiler
It's possible you have a naturally bright resonance, or you have a varied intonation (rising and falling of pitch while talking, as opposed to monotone), or you could have strong articulation and a soft or small voice, or a combination of the above. There's a lot of things that go into a voice beyond pitch, and a high pitch isn't necessarily required to read as feminine.
voice gendering
Not sure how much time they spend listening to trans fems talking, but I know I automatically gender typical early-voice-training transfem voices as women. Like one time I was listening to a streamer being surprised when they were correctly gendered over the phone and I was confused why they'd be surprised. They just sound like a woman to me. So I asked my cishet cousin for his opinion and (after I insisted I just wanted his honest opinion and there was no right or wrong answer as long as it was his sincere opinion cause he was clearly hesitant to answer), he said he'd have gendered her as male if judging just by voice. I still think streamer has a more negative opinion of her voice than what reality justifies: we are often our worst critics.
So, no clue if they are just in an unusual group who've have expanded how they gender based on voice compared to the average population, if they're just being nice/afraid of offending, or if you just sound like a woman to average people. Nor could I give any sorta of realistic judgement. Either way, every person sounds like themself, so if someone is a woman then they automatically sound like a woman, so it ain't a lie.
I can't say without actually hearing your voice, but there are a number of different factors that go into gendering a voice. They could be picking up on something real.
Want me to send a voice clip when I get home? And you can tell me if there's any specific thing there. Dw if not
Sure why not? I'm not an expert or anything but I can give you another opinion.
I'm going to have to start working out, the horror. Noooooooo
Also, is muscle loss that bad? I don't need to be strong, but I need to not be weak
You should exercise, yes. Its very good for you.
strength loss definitely creeps up on you, i have done nothing to maintain and the difference is pretty stark from 3 or 4 years ago
Hmm I'll probably start exercising regularly to mantain some strength
Personally, I've started from a point of being seemingly weirdly strong for how I don't work out at all or do much physical labor (probably mostly being taller than a lot of people and overweight) and I haven't had any issues with strength in just doing things I've always done 1.5 years in. I probably can tell a difference in my peak bicycling speed, but its not really something that affects me. But when it comes to things like moving furniture, I haven't had any issues due to decreased muscle mass.
Otherwise, good news. I found out that the health and sanitary administration of my country is very based and cool. Opposite to the medical regulation thingy, which is transphobic, reactionary and deeply unserious
Nevermind this. Seems like they were just oblivious. Still, they are cool and regulate stuff nicely
These past mornings been feeling real emotional almost cried just now listening to wizard of earthsea, le guin is so damn good at portraying emotions like fear and doubt
The earthsea series as a whole is insanely good. The growth of recurring characters over the books, as Le Guin herself went through decades of her life and was able to approach femininity and masculinity through a different lens later, is really special as well.
I would love to have your thoughts on each book, and on the series! I can never have enough thoughts about Earthsea.
I felt this way listening to left hand of darkness. She's so talented!
she is one of the all-time greats for sure