Wanting these ends on a bob that stops around or below my chin or collar bone. I want really spikey ends, hopefully with a straight line in the space between them. Literally like this picture.

Can I simply cut it this way? Do I have to use product? Can I recreate it post-haircut by simply brushing my hair? If I can't just brush it out back into this post-haircut, and I must use product, what do I use and how?

I grew up with culture and assumed everyone else had culture. Then I came across a white person who fetishized black and Asian people.

She grew up in America completely without contact with their ancestral tree for generations. I'd sit down, and they'd tell me their DNA is part Asian around 20x before I got up from my seat. She and her entire family looked completely white. That's how far back she was digging.

She's not black by any stretch, but she claimed she couldn't understand white slang because she only speaks black slang... even though she grew up with my also white boyfriend in the same white suburb neighborhood. My boyfriend simply talks like a white person.

She wore cultures as costumes. Like not growing up wearing durags then wearing one at 25 and dressing up in gang colors and lying about being in a gang, growing up in a ultra-rich suburban neighborhood and explaining to my boyfriend what is like to grow up in the hood(you grew up in the same ultra rich suburb shut up!), Buddhist beads(in her chosen gang color) with long "Buddhist nails" when they were cruel and dehumanizing at every chance, and nothing else about them was Buddhist. She is also immunocompromised, but started the pandemic insisting she wear a paisley bandana(also in the gang color) instead of medical masks I gave her a full pack of.

She claims it's distasteful to talk about feeling animosity towards the 1%, but she loves watching videos of black gangs getting shot.

They were constantly trying to look like "an exotic white person." They never realized they are just white and can only be shown around other people's cultures as a guest, but can never become "one of them." Always just as an outsider.

They taught me part of what whiteness was. Because of them I know about people who are white and nothing else.

This is not a joke. I actually don't know.

I saw some set in ancient China which seemed pretty cool. I'd love to find it and get some subtitles going.

One show had an evil character that was a woman with many lower ear piercings. Starting on her ear lobes, trailing up the edge of her ear. She seemed like a power hungry royal who'd slap and punish other women a lot. Really pretty show. Her looks and character's tendencies are why I remember it.

She responded to accusations of being a Nazi by posting she's proud of "white culture" and I'd like to quit consuming her stuff.

A Chinese communist news site full of happy news is called Sixth Tone.

Another is China's official newspaper, People's Daily.

I love what I've read on there, but I tend to barely read articles. And please, if you spot an podcast in English on one of these sites, let me know!

My perfectionism is disabling. I ban myself from doing anything I don't feel like I'll do perfect at. I barely do things I love and don't know my interests well. I love people and mingling, but I grew up selectively mute until highschool and to this day I have a hard time being direct. I overthink all texts. I used to type one sentence for hours and not send anything. My humor is very underdeveloped because I don't risk bombing jokes. There's so much I won't do unless someone is there encouraging me and enthusiastically approving of what I'm doing. I have severely low self esteem because of my level of perfectionism. I just want to hang out and chill with people and have interests that I act on.

Btw, what do you do when you need to do something you love, fast?

Like in a dehumanizing manner. I want to go by it/they/them but I'm scared I won't be able to handle it if someone does that.

I prefer giving to a mutual aid resource, but other kinds of answers are fine.

I know goodwill is shitty, I won't give to them.

It would be deeply triggering to see him and he is extremely manipulative, plus he has friends that attend the scene. Some of them were doing meth last I saw them over ten years ago.

If I make friends, they could easily link back to him through themselves or multiple people. I seriously cannot tolerate that. I don't want him knowing anything about me and my life.

Do you think I can manage being part of a small scene with these conditions?

I think hexbear has them. Is it a connection thing where cookies spot other cookies? Do tracking cookies matter when it comes to insurance and therapy sites/apps? I'm thinking about therapy that I saw advertised on YouTube, and I bet they're somehow sketchy. And their app requires the use of third party tracking and cookies.

I just don't want these sites/apps to see I'm a communist.