They call it "cutting the grass."
Why?
HexaSnoot
joined 3 years ago
No wonder the pager bombings happened. I didn't know Israel had invaded Lebanon already. Did Israel invade them constantly, or is it like I've read, which is 4 different times? I haven't clicked any links on search results yet due to the mental toll, but perhaps I can look later.
Who are Hezbollah?(Is that a grammatically correct sentence?) Are they are a really different group from Hamas? I feel like I hear about them together at times.
I would not go so far as to say shared political beliefs are orthogonal to being a good friend but there are so, so many things that go into the cocktail of making someone pleasant to be around that I do often wonder whether I drastically overrate the importance of politics in friendships.
It's different when it's your own etnicity being projected on, and you'te seen as a "neutral/good one" or "a dangerous/evil one" based on if you're racist towards your own race along with them or not.
I knew a person who seemed okay with the topic of socialism, then they spoke negatively about my people's country. Later they hurt me in a way I won't mention.
So I drew a boundary. My people have some socialism in their history, so of course we are demonized. I can't afford to be close friends with people who demonize the country of my people because that's evidence they may see me as the "good insert my ethnicity." Especially because I don't want to be at a higher level of risk of being around people who are sexually attracted to me simply because they fetishize my people because they, as evidence, don't fully respect me as a insert my ethnicity person. As someone said about being racistly removed from an event's cast, they "stripped me of my humanity and agency, reducing me to an object onto which others can project their racist fears and smears." I cannot sit there forever waiting to be approved by people close to me. They have racist bully shit to say about my people's country without it being a genuinely open question, I don't want to be super close to them. Although I will always run into and befriend some people who may be racist to me, it is a still a way I don't want to try to turn bullies into close friends.
I'm so sick and tired of tiptoeing around the topic of my people. I'm not totally sure what other boundaries I need to set. I worry openly saying positive, nonracist things about my people will get me attacked verbally, emotionally, mentally, amd maybe and in other ways.
that they know better than the people deemed crazy, and in a huge way as people to be exploited.
I remember I was having social anxiety while talking with a much older man and his mix-aged crowd of friends that I just met at the park. The topic of age had come up. I mentioned I was insert multiple decades-old. (So keep in mind that this man's behavior, was NOT at all because he was so elderly he mistaked me for a kid. There was a guy around my age who he seemed fully respectful of.)
Later, he invited me to step away from the crowd sitting in the sun to sit with him and his dog in the shade. I was treating the dog extra nice because he told me it was dying of cancer.
About 10 minutes later, probably deliberately while he had me isolated from his group, he said, "Have you ever been to the looney bin?" I said, "Why, have you?" because I was wondering if this was a lonely guy who was looking for people to relate to him. He said no, but he knew people who have been 51/50'd.
So he was plain nosey and felt entitled to know just because he felt I was... something, based on my social anxiety? Idk. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of a yes or no on something highly not his business, I responded, "That's private."
Then he immediately starts interrogating me asking "What direction is your house? Where exactly do you live? You're so young and you've been in here in this park for hours." (A park that many people recreationally hang out for hours in.)
Later on this site, I made a post asking about why he did that. Someone made a good point that some creeps pretend to be saviors as an excuse to creep. Especially on much younger people.
Anyhow, I feel like this relates to what you're saying. Even though idk all the ways how.
I'm learning to ask about manipulators, "What is the game thats being played, and what's the purpose of this thing they're presenting?"
I'd say the game he was playing was pretending he's only interrogating me as a kind favor towards me. And the purpose of this game was to successfully interrogate me for my home address and other personal information. To stalk me in plain sight.
I wonder who popularly did that first, horror movies or the general public?
One that is confusing is when someone calls another "psycho."
Like, do they mean psychopath? Or psychotic, as in someone that's in psychosis? Or that someone's angry? Or aggressive? Hyperactively happy? Out of sync with people around them and being a sore thumb? (Etc...) Because there's a big difference between these all.
As I've learned, if you like/really like/love them as friends, expressing in some way that you do, and that you want to become a bigger part of each other's lives because you value your time together, is very important. Sometimes people are already looking for people who value time with them enough to want more closeness, and need a sign who of their friends is that.
I realized I couldn't know for sure if my friend didn't want the same. Just like you they could desire the same and have any number of their own reasons to not have transparently told you.
Remember capitalism creates atomization that makes people act anxiously distant in their own bubbles. It increases the number of times people think "If they really cared enough to bond more with me, they would've insert sign of interest by now." I wouldn't be surprised if this has applied to most members of the human race. In retrospect, many people really liked me but I wouldn't vulnrably show how deeply I wanted more platonic intimacy, and it cost me(and still costs me) close friendships and lots of socializing experiences.
I don't like it, but I know for most of my childhood I felt I could never wear a crop top in my life even though I was already thin. Then, 15 lbs less than now, I did it comfortably when I was a little fat. In retrospect, as a child I was the one projecting my own shame on my stomach, and I know I'm doing it now. Especially when someone obese like comedian Stavros Halkias frequently goes shirtless, has a shirtless statue of himself, and describes how he feels absolutely dashing about his looks. But he's immensely confident, with great assertive comebacks to any insult I've heard people tell him at his shows, and I'm not. Maybe I just need to build an arsenal of simple responses to someone acting disgusted at my stomach.
If you're confident your two friends won't out you, you could figure out along the way who else will also be safe to tell later. I understand though, learning who you can also trust to never, ever out you without your permission can be tricky.
I'm so sorry your skin is irritated like this.
I know this is unsolicited advice, but this makes me recall when used to shave against the grain of my hair everywhere. It could get rashy and dry. Do you want a lotion reccomendation that didn't burn/irritate my skin at all, and prevented itching for days?
In a pinch, when I ran out of lotion and itched terribly, a thin coat of petroleum jelly helped. I made sure to wash and dry my hands first so the salt from my sweat didn't transfer onto my skin.
Both did great at helping my skin heal.
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Are there video clips you know of that'd help me internalize how they see other's territories as their own turf? I forgot where, but I saw one clip of an Israeli guy expressing things shouldn't be given to others, that it's all for Israelis. I suspect that relates to what you're saying.